Hey there! I am a bit down in the dumps... so let's have a honest talk.I am 24 years, 5 months and 8 days old... and my first coming out was on September 1st 2014. At first my older brother, who is my only sibling, reacted shocked, but then calmed do

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File: 1448903890982.jpg (63.65 KB, 512x712, 64:89, Konradkurze rolled user ar….jpg)

Anonymous 11/30/15 (Mon) 17:18:10 ef6972 No.9609

Hey there! I am a bit down in the dumps… so let's have a honest talk.

I am 24 years, 5 months and 8 days old… and my first coming out was on September 1st 2014.

At first my older brother, who is my only sibling, reacted shocked, but then calmed down. Unfortunately, this doesn't mean that he fully supports me; more on that later.

Then on January 7th this year, I came out to my mother. It was plain horror… I even had to move out of the house temporarily to live with two of my fellow university students, because of the psychological terror she inflicted on me.

When I returned home, it got even worse for some weeks, but I endured the torture. (Regardless, she still says stuff like "You will become a hideous woman.")

Now it is almost December and my dear mother still is not okay with my "decision" as she calls it, even thought I told her outright, that I tried to end my life 3 TIMES this year because of the sadness. On the other hand, I have the feeling that my two fellow university student friends who I mentioned earlier and who are currently in an internship, are just my friends out of pity and not because they really want to.

Sorry, but I don't have the finances to move out! :( I am working my ass of at my current job (which is well paid regardless), but I have to pay university fees and all that crap. It would be not enought to survive on my own, even considering renting something!

—

Some general facts about me:

I am seeing a therapist since August this year, who specializes in psychosomatic/psychiatric therapy as well as in general psycho-therapy.

At first I got under pressure at home for seeing that therapist, but I have to do it in order to medicate PROPERLY.

But seeing a therapist alone is not enough: I have to do a one-year-long test, in which I wear women's clothes every day. That is such a bullshit law in my country…

Also, given the fact that I am already 24 years old, my body has already been poisoned by testosterone: I am 5"11, have big feet and hands (but slim), some facial hair (thank God not that much like other dudes) - and I am suffering from inherited male pattern baldness. :(

But there are also two good things at least: I don't have big shoulders and I am thin as fuck.

http://strawpoll.me/6142556

If you have read this text, would you please do me the favor and give your vote in this poll?

I don't want to make it seem like that I have to rely on other people to know, if I should transition or not, but I want to know all YOUR opinions on this matter, because I am not a selfish asshole.

Anonymous 11/30/15 (Mon) 18:27:04 99eab0 No.9610

>>9609

Honestly, the best input people on an image board could give is to look at pictures of you, and tell you if you have potential to be an attractive trap.

That's not going to truly answer your question, but it will give you some important feedback. If you will never be able to transition into an attractive passable female, then you will likely have a lot of trials and loneliness in your life. If you can become a beautiful trap, then you could lead a pretty charmed life if you are smart about it.

Anonymous 11/30/15 (Mon) 20:03:46 ef6972 No.9611

File: 1448913827479.png (2.06 MB, 1032x2009, 1032:2009, IMAG2942.png)

>>9610

This is me.

And speaking of being >attractive and passable

… you DO know that by given the fact that I haven't started hormone replacement during my early youth, that I will still have some male features like big hands and feet. That might already nullify being attractive for some men, even though there are cis-women with big hands too. (Not a lot, but they do exist.)

On another note, I am seriously considering having a rhinoplasty done on me.

You have to understand that my wish is not to become "overly attractive" to such a level, that you think it's seductive. I merely want to be my true self at last, but look at least decent. I feel like my whole life has been a lie, if that means anything to you.

Anonymous 11/30/15 (Mon) 21:26:25 f8a1b5 No.9613

>>9611

Agreed. You look pretty cute to me but that's beside the point. What matters most is that you feel happy the way you are. I wish I knew how you could deal with your mother but yeah it sounds like a really tough situation you're in.

Is there anyone else in your family you could stay with?

As for HRT, If you really want it I say go for it.

Anonymous 11/30/15 (Mon) 22:38:02 99eab0 No.9615

>>9611

>You have to understand that my wish is not to become "overly attractive" to such a level, that you think it's seductive. I merely want to be my true self at last, but look at least decent.

I respect where you're coming from, but as I said earlier, I can't truly answer your question for you. The best I can do is give honest input as to what the road might be like for you as an outside party. It's not a desire to trivialize your life goals or purpose and frame it as some beauty contest, but only offering what I can.

>I feel like my whole life has been a lie, if that means anything to you.

I think this answers your question right here. Based on your appearance and where you are coming from, I'd say do it.

Anonymous 12/01/15 (Tue) 07:03:02 ef6972 No.9619

OP here

>>9613

Trust me, it is still tough, but it has cooled down a little over the months.

>Is there anyone else in your family you could stay with?

Sadly all my relatives are abroad, so it's no use. :(

>>9615

I do appreciate your points. Are there also maybe more information that you'd need for giving me some advice for the future?

Feel free to ask, maybe others who are in a similar situation can benefit from it as well.

Anonymous 12/01/15 (Tue) 17:25:37 99eab0 No.9621

File: 1448990737302.jpg (202.93 KB, 750x563, 750:563, 1984-madonna-by-steven-mei….jpg)

>>9611

I don't think the big hands and feet are that hard an issue to overcome.

Is there any contemporary equivalent of those Madonna type fashions from the 80s, specifically her gloves?

Btw, not even saying you have to do this, but if you makes you feel more comfortable, you can look into stuff like this.

Anonymous 12/01/15 (Tue) 18:09:41 99eab0 No.9629

>>9619

>Feel free to ask, maybe others who are in a similar situation can benefit from it as well.

Here's something worth asking, because it's probably a healthy exercise period for people in your situation in terms of defining your goals, and figuring out how to reach them.

What type of future do you see for yourself? What type of life do you want to lead as a woman?

Anonymous 12/01/15 (Tue) 20:58:23 ef6972 No.9630

OP again…

>>9621

Guess what, I am actually doing something similar at the moment. lol

I like wearing bigger sized sweaters with longers sleeves, that cover your hands nicely.

>>9629

I actually have two visions, which can correlate very good with each other:

>1.

This might sound like a cliche to you, but I'd love to be a housewife; maybe part-time if needed.

I am open for the idea of having a long-term relationship with a man and owning a small pet; that would be so nice!

I guess you can say that this is a view driven by emotions, so let's get to the other, more realistic one:

>2.

Firstly, I'd like to finish my Bachelor's degree, which might or may not (let's be real here) help me have better chances at getting a job in my field.

Secondly, I need to become independent from my current household that I am living in - to finally start my true life that I was supposed to have.

You can say that this is a more job-driven future, but it is necessary to achieve everything else that I want, like FFS.

(Still, I'd be open for a having a long-term relationship.)

Anonymous 12/02/15 (Wed) 14:31:30 99eab0 No.9640

>>9630

Only two times has large hands on traps bothered me.

One was in an Ellery Sweet video, where she put her hand up over her mouth, in the classic "I said something naughty."

https://youtu.be/Kvd3tE-x584?t=2m43s

Another time was IRL when I blew off a trap hooker in a bar who I was talking to, but had no idea she was in that business. She gave me the finger in front of my face when she saw I wasn't interested.

Avoid doing those two things to people lol

Also, used to it now, so doesn't bother me today.

Anonymous 12/03/15 (Thu) 01:29:10 ef6972 No.9644

File: 1449106150826.png (346.77 KB, 1024x189, 1024:189, tumblr_lx4it0UOOU1qapkleo1….png)

>>9640

Speaking of Ellery Sweet, look at what I've found.

Anonymous 12/05/15 (Sat) 16:57:43 1873f9 No.9667

I think any trans would tell u to start HRT asap, even if u don't have the consent of your doctor (I think u can afford HRT pillls fairly easily on the web, according to few trans blogs I'm reading…), and even if you are more than 20yo

Anonymous 12/05/15 (Sat) 18:21:05 1d9537 No.9670

>>9644

seeing what a useless fucking twat of a man Ellery could have been, it feels me with determination. I have hope for you OP, sail away and become a trap.

Anonymous 12/05/15 (Sat) 19:09:31 ef6972 No.9671

>>9667

I think sharing some links to those blogs would be more helpful for others as well.

Anonymous 12/07/15 (Mon) 18:38:33 ef6972 No.9719

>>9671

>>9667

bump for the links

Anonymous 12/11/15 (Fri) 01:16:16 ef6972 No.9757

File: 1449796576429.jpg (21.15 KB, 445x316, 445:316, amanda-coccinelle.jpg)

OP here.

Okay guys, here is some update on me:

For the past 11 to 12 days, there were only 3 times me and my dear mother got into an arguement. I am keeping myself away from her to give her some time for herself, but bascially I have changed my whole attitude towards her now. I don't buy into her crap of telling me that I am a sweet young man (every mother thinks that way of her kids, even mothers of killers would say the same shit!) and would become a hideous woman anymore.

>What people think and say about you, does not determine who you really are.

So, I am saving money left and right, whenever and wherever I can. I am even working double the time at my work, which increased my financial income to almost 40%. One the bad side, I am feeling becoming more exhausted. But hey, sometimes you just can't wait for a miracle to happen, right?

Also, good news is that I am scheduled for a laser therapy next year. I might start in February, but I can't tell for sure as of this moment. Bad news is that I might have to pay every laser session on my own. Well, fuck!

Also, I bought a wig for the time being. : )

P.S.: The picture shows Amanda Lear and Coccinelle, two wonderful traps from France during the 1960s. Personally, I look up to them for what they have achieved for themselves.

Anonymous 12/11/15 (Fri) 01:52:38 ef6972 No.9758

>>9757

Kill me for my broken gammar, dudes and duderinas!

Anonymous 12/11/15 (Fri) 02:17:50 99eab0 No.9759

>>9757

Good luck to you, friend, keep us posted! :-)

Anonymous 12/13/15 (Sun) 01:34:14 ef6972 No.9775

File: 1449970454841-0.png (190.54 KB, 263x420, 263:420, IMAG3037 - Kopie.png)

File: 1449970454842-1.png (223.55 KB, 271x420, 271:420, IMG-20151210-WA0009 - Kopi….png)

File: 1449970454843-2.png (157.7 KB, 240x420, 4:7, IMAG3043 - Kopie.png)

So this is me now. For the time being, this wig has to work out for me. I know that I have to get a more realistic looking one, but they are so expensive, people. The ones I saw, cost like 1,5K Dollars … and you don't want me to open a fundraiser, do you? ;D lol

Things I need to get done on me:

. fixing eyebrows

. nose-job

. tracheal shave (depending on outcome of HRT)

Regarding my hair problem, during my last appointment my therapist told me that hair transplants would help in my case.

But she did not mention, that health insurances don't cover that sugery at all. X-(

I thought to myself: "Oh, would YOU like to pay for that to help me out?"

What was worse than that was that she was also saying:

>"But that is too early to talk about now."

Also too bad I can't wear contact lenses.

I once tried to wear some hard ones that were in my strengh,

but it was so fucking painful!

Anonymous 12/13/15 (Sun) 10:04:22 99eab0 No.9778

>>9775

>I once tried to wear some hard ones that were in my strengh, but it was so fucking painful!

Have you tried the softest ones you can find, like the ones that you only use for a day?

Anonymous 12/13/15 (Sun) 11:07:13 ef6972 No.9781

>>9778 OP here.

No, I am sorry. I simply can't wear soft contact lenses, because I am VERY short-sighted.

So, my lenses have to be very strong, and soft contact lenses just can't do the job.

Anonymous 12/14/15 (Mon) 12:42:35 99eab0 No.9792

>>9775

HRT won't reverse male balding?

The wig is a good improvement.

Anonymous 12/14/15 (Mon) 20:18:07 ef6972 No.9795

>>9792

>HRT won't reverse male balding?

To my knowledge, not fully. It also depends on the person and how long they had to deal with hair loss. A person that suffers from it for only a couple of months if more likely to regrow some hair than a guy who has been bald for 6 years.

Anonymous 12/15/15 (Tue) 07:02:07 ef6972 No.9798

>>9792

>>9795

OP here.

Speaking of balding, my hair problem started around March/April this year. =(

I tried Regaine Minoxidil 5% for about 3 months straight, but there was a very small amount of hair actually regrowing.

What scared me the most was the shedding effect during the first few weeks of usage. I felt that Regaine actually worsened my problem.

Frikking testosterone and DHT…

I know that removing my balls would be best. :P

Anonymous 12/15/15 (Tue) 07:06:40 ef6972 No.9799

File: 1450163201441.jpg (117.67 KB, 960x720, 4:3, 10289801_645044442243138_7….jpg)

>>9792

Also thanks for your comment on my wig!

It really helps a lot getting that stress off of my shoulders, if you know what I mean.

Check out Sona Avedian, if you can. Besides her being an amazing woman and person in general, she wears a lot of them. =)

Anonymous 12/15/15 (Tue) 13:28:32 6b8393 No.9800

File: 1450186112956.jpg (8.07 KB, 255x207, 85:69, 1439441657662-4.jpg)

>>9775

Anonymous 12/15/15 (Tue) 21:15:30 ef6972 No.9804

>>9800

What's the matter?

Anonymous 12/16/15 (Wed) 00:00:51 9f9e36 No.9806

>>9775

lookin good hon!

Anonymous 12/16/15 (Wed) 22:15:24 dc011f No.9812

>>9775

you look great ;)

Jessica Fappit 12/17/15 (Thu) 23:30:16 efccc9 No.9820

>>9798

Have faith. Be patient. It takes time. Get on hormones as quickly as you can. Be safe. Save your money, use it wisely.

You can do this. One day at a time. So many of us succeed you can do it too. <3

Anonymous 12/19/15 (Sat) 18:46:34 1873f9 No.9824

>>9719

>>9671

boringkate.tumblr.com she gives good tips to transgirls usually

Anonymous 12/19/15 (Sat) 19:52:29 99eab0 No.9825

>>9824

Everyone bookmark that. From here on in, nothing on the board will be saved until they move again to new software. ;_;

Anonymous 12/23/15 (Wed) 17:53:41 ef6972 No.9875

File: 1450893221327.gif (4.23 MB, 800x600, 4:3, 388c5c091c7f375753aef1f453….gif)

OP here!

>9820

Of course, my therapist would not approve of me getting on hormones as of this this moment, but what would be the consequences in regards to therapy and legal aspects if I do it anyway?

Just asking, because the health care system is a joke. Just think about it.

And…

>9824

>9825

THANK YOU! By the way that tumblr looks really nice. :)

Also, I wish you all a merry Christmas, regardless if you celebrate it or not. Just enjoy the free time. <3

Anonymous 12/23/15 (Wed) 17:55:02 ef6972 No.9876

>>9875

Ooops, let me correct that real quick! :P

>>9820

>>9824

>>9825

Anonymous 12/28/15 (Mon) 22:23:44 a36da8 No.9941

>>9611

As a guy who likes transwomen for various reason I can say that you are cute. My (personal) advice would be to grow your hair out, and get laser hair removal (my ex did that and was super thankful for it) a couple years of hrt and your masculine features will soften up. I want to say my ex started around 23 or so with hormones.

Anonymous 12/29/15 (Tue) 16:49:23 1930a6 No.9946

OP here! :)

Christmas was alright, except for Christmas Eve itself: I was forbidden to wear my wig and dress at the dinner table, because it would have freaked out my pussy-ass older brother… what the fuck, right?

But that did not stop me from wearing them the other days when he was still at our house! lol

>>9941

For your interest: That picture was taken in early November and my hair problem has become slightly worse, honestly. I even had to cut it down a bit… :'(

And because of that, I started being on Regaine Minoxidil again from today on. I know it might sound fucked up to some people, because why using it when you are not on T-blockers? -The reason is very simple: it will still take some time to have me put on legal T-blockers. Maybe a year or one and a half? It really depends on my therapist and also the facr, that she follows those bullshit-laws in my country by heart. But at least that also means that she is not shady or anything bad per se.

While we're at it:

WHAT ARE THE SAFEST T-BLOCKERS that you can legally buy on the net?

In my country I need a doctor's prescription for Spironolactone and honestly I feel that time is running out. :(

(Also, like every other normal human being, I am also scared of shady medication from the internet… so please, talk only about good meds.)

Anonymous 12/30/15 (Wed) 15:44:35 1930a6 No.9952

File: 1451490276500-0.jpg (295.6 KB, 416x728, 4:7, IMAG3166 - Kopie.jpg)

File: 1451490276500-1.jpg (396.17 KB, 453x837, 151:279, IMAG3152 - Kopie.jpg)

File: 1451490276500-2.jpg (129.45 KB, 213x584, 213:584, IMAG3153 - Kopie.jpg)

File: 1451490276501-3.jpg (302.75 KB, 362x845, 362:845, IMAG3160 - Kopie.jpg)

File: 1451490276501-4.jpg (348.26 KB, 428x756, 107:189, IMAG3161 - Kopie.jpg)

Hey there, have some updates on me and my body.

Also please feel free to give me your thoughts. I know that I can still work on me to pass much better.

Anonymous 12/30/15 (Wed) 16:11:21 99eab0 No.9953

>>9952

your poise (if that is the right word) is very feminine. good sign.

looking at your face, I'd say that your nose will be your biggest issue. that can be fixed for like $4k even in USA. hrt tends to subtly soften contours.

Anonymous 01/04/16 (Mon) 14:13:49 1930a6 No.10033

Happy New Year, OP!

Anonymous 01/07/16 (Thu) 20:28:10 1930a6 No.10058

Hello, wanna have a small update? I'll give you one. : )

It has been exactly one year now since I have come out as transgender to my mother - and ten minutes ago I told her what my first name is going to be. Suprise, she did not like it, but the name stays!

My semester is ending very soon, which means that I am working my butt off tirelessly to finish all university projects.

Also, I am on Minoxidil for almost two weeks now and I think it's already starting to do its job: The dead hair on top of my head is already starting to shed like crazy just like back in summer of last year.

It is a scary effect of the Minoxidil if you think about it … but it actually means that underneath the dead hair new hair is getting ready to grow, which is why the dead matter is getting pushed out of the skin.

Great side-effect of the medicine: My sexual drive has decreased because of it. :P

So yeah…

I've been looking for hormones online nealry EVERYWHERE. I can't legally buy any IN my country without having a prescription at all. People always tend to say it is easy to buy 'mones off the net, but over here it is heavily regulated as fuck!

I could still try to self-medicate by asking my friends to get me some oral contraceptive pills, but I saw a list of the pills they sell in my country (only through a prescription, of course) and the strongest one that has a lot of anti-androgens and some estrogene in it is Diane-35. A lot of trans-women have already died from using said pill… it was even banned in France for a while, it's just that bad!

As usual, feel free to ask anything you want or tell from your own life and experiences. You are welcomed here. : )

Anonymous 01/11/16 (Mon) 17:16:25 e641bb No.10084

>>9952

WOW you are so pretty and feminine… I am beyond jealous.

You already look amazing, and HRT would make you look incredible!

Anonymous 01/11/16 (Mon) 21:05:25 1930a6 No.10086

File: 1452546325577.png (480.73 KB, 423x740, 423:740, IMAG3180 - Kopie.png)

>>10084

I wish, I could say the same for my nose. lol

Hey, you can always share your story in here as well, if you think it might help you. Or create a similar thread like mine. : )

UPDATE:

Today during my first therapy meeting this year, my therapist couldn't help me regarding my hair problem at all, because she is bound to that bullshit trans-law, stating that you can only start changing the body in minor ways after 1 year of therapy.

So it is a good thing that I made an appointment with an endocrinologist in April. ; )

If things work out according to plan, I will start HRT in August … 2017. What a dissappointment, right? I'll be aged 26 by then.

I could go on crying all day, but that does not help you.

Well, I regret not seeing a therapist back in 2012 or earlier.

Anonymous 01/20/16 (Wed) 00:04:14 43337a No.10198

>>10086

I am a "straight" male and I can say you look pretty good and your transition will end up better than most people starting out late. You can always save for future procedures and perfect yourself by your early 30's.

Anonymous 02/21/16 (Sun) 00:37:56 d330d5 No.10570

bump

Anonymous 02/21/16 (Sun) 02:52:46 696cc4 No.10572

>>9609

>Now it is almost December and my dear mother still is not okay with my "decision" as she calls it, even thought I told her outright, that I tried to end my life 3 TIMES this year because of the sadness.

Just because you tried to kill yourself doesn't make anything you do any less of a decision. Fuck off and stop trying to guilt trip your mother into changing her values just because you're a fucking emo brat.

Anonymous 02/21/16 (Sun) 03:55:54 d330d5 No.10575

>>10572

I am OP actually, and I am doing way better now. Thank you for nothing. =)

Anonymous 02/21/16 (Sun) 06:32:55 bcac59 No.10580

>>10575

>Thank you.

Not a problem.

Always happy to hand out red pills and point out when mindfucked shills are using emotional blackmail to force someone to validate his feelings.

Anonymous 02/21/16 (Sun) 08:23:46 99eab0 No.10581

>>10572

>>10580

Play nice, anon. We're getting stricter here.

Anonymous 02/21/16 (Sun) 18:45:25 d330d5 No.10588

>>10581

Yes, I've recognized that already. It has its up and downsight, if you'd ask me.

Just wanted to let you people know that I am, get this, scheduled earlier to receive HRT. So me getting it in August of 2017 is invalid now! =)

But I don't exactly know when to receive it though; might be at the end of this year or at the start of next year. In the middle of April, I am going to see an endocrinologist regarding my hair problem - BTW the same doctor will be monitoring my HRT in the future. :)

Another great news to mention is that my health insurance is going to cover my laser hair removal, but only after I got my diagnosis papers from my therapist.

But in the end, my relationship with my family has finally normalized and this what matters the most. So please no more worries anymore.

Anonymous 02/22/16 (Mon) 02:32:01 252311 No.10591

>>10581

I don't post here often enough to worry about moderation. That being said, the only time I feel it necessary to call people out on their bullshit is when you get shitlords like the OP who feel that validation is somehow best achieved by coercing people into acceptance or ideological conformity with threats of suicide.

His mother is grieved enough by his lifestyle deviancy without being threatened into attrition by a spoiled asshole who believes he's more enlightened than his parent by virtue of his feelies.

Anonymous 02/25/16 (Thu) 02:30:45 b310fc No.10606

If you have the money I'd say go for it. If women are happy having some weird chunk of meat in the form of a non-fully functional penis you may feel right looking like a woman.

Anonymous 02/25/16 (Thu) 02:31:31 b310fc No.10607

>>10606

This is about those weird female to male dicks.

Anonymous 02/25/16 (Thu) 02:32:52 b310fc No.10608

>>10588

>laser hair removal

I want to do that on my butt. I bet lots of manly men do it already and I'm the only retard wasting time with trimmers and gilletes.

Anonymous 03/05/16 (Sat) 23:09:45 d330d5 No.10731

File: 1457219385901.jpg (734.27 KB, 1037x583, 1037:583, P1010724 - Kopie.jpg)

Hello~

(My Adam's apple says hello as well. lol)

Last Wednesday, I came out publicly and had only good responses so far. =)

Anonymous 03/05/16 (Sat) 23:51:44 99eab0 No.10734

>>10731

Congratulations, that's great news. :)

Anonymous 03/31/16 (Thu) 19:51:47 d330d5 No.11180

File: 1459453907468.png (643.69 KB, 509x900, 509:900, IMAG0319 - Kopie.png)

Hey senpai~ :)

Anonymous 04/01/16 (Fri) 00:50:16 99eab0 No.11181

>>11180

One thing in your favor is that you have pretty full lips.

Anonymous 04/01/16 (Fri) 01:27:00 d330d5 No.11182

>>11181

Are you perhaps subbed to this thread? :)

Anyways, there is not so much new to talk about on my part except that my life is just too awesome right now. Can't believe it differs so much from my first post on here.

I also don't care if people tell me on strawpoll not to get on HRT - I will do it anyways just for myself.)

And FYI, I'll be starting a voice therapy next month.