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File: fa705311af26dfd⋯.jpg (23.63 KB, 600x330, 20:11, Star-Wars-The-Last-Jedi-60….jpg)


>Star Wars: The Last Jedi to reveal “The Most Shocking Truth In Star Wars History”

>Just in case you need another reason to see December’s Star Wars: The Last Jedi, an official Japanese leaflet promoting the movie is boldly claiming that the second chapter of the Sequel Trilogy is set to deliver “the most shocking truth in Star Wars history”!



Luke is gay


Look at this magnificent log I pulled out of my ass! Shocking, isn't it?


Rey is Luke and Leia's daughter.


>inb4 Rey is a reincarnation of Anakin and Disney is doing some sissiyfication ritual to demoralize white males


The Jedi were wrong to focus only on the light, and deny the dark side.






>>Star Wars: The Last Jedi to reveal “The Most Shocking Truth In Star Wars History”

The galaxy is run by Jews.



Is that He-Man 2017?

He-IdentifiesAsAMan that is.


File: 0e8d137b3cf697c⋯.png (48.15 KB, 251x257, 251:257, 5110553e506522251ab1e48c4c….png)

Who cares? Who gives a shit? Who is this marketed to anymore that this would be an earth-shattering experience?


the series was always shit


jedis are actually evil and the emperor was right all along.


I bet you they're going to pull a Revan with Rey.


You turn to shock-value when you got nothing else to offer, i guess they have realised they got half-assed story with nothing interesting at all.



nobody would even give a shit and they will say its the greatest thing ever sounds about right


>the most shocking truth

Alderan wasn't real. It was a lie by the Toydarians.


she kills Luke. I guarantee you that's what it is.




Luke: "I am your father."

Rey: "No, Luke, I am *your* father."

And the mind was blown.




>oy vey goyim, objective morality is wrong

>see? now the jedi have to use the dark side to conform with the current year's moral relativist ethics

not watching that shit


File: 121b0dc468b4c68⋯.jpg (129.32 KB, 1042x1020, 521:510, 6694bd5908bbb48cf73e3076e6….jpg)


Rey is Luke's transgender clone "son"



>Who cares? Who gives a shit? Who is this marketed to anymore that this would be an earth-shattering experience?

if only this were true


thanks for the spoilers, it's Snape all over again


>Most Shocking Truth In Star Wars History

Literally a made up fantasy story written by some guys


JarJar is Snoke.


My guess is that the nigger is actually Leia's first son before the saga started. Leia was BLACKED


If it's a fucking tie-in to Infinity War I will stand up and applaud the Jews on their shamelessness.


Light and Dark side are the same lol. Strong female protagonist leads the stupid men into peace.



>(((Disney Star Wars))) Shocking Truth…

The Jews were the real superheros!!



Back the fuck off goy

Watto is not a Jew




>“the most shocking truth in Star Wars history”!

The empire put all the force users into camps.


Rey and Finn travel to the Milky Way Galaxy, land on our Earth, which is still in a primitive state, and become Adam and Eve. All the miracles of the Bible end up being a the result of the Force.


File: 7a74808223e9287⋯.jpg (40.15 KB, 137x234, 137:234, 1310237216771.jpg)


This is too plausible for me.


I'm thinking some way to resurrect Vader. He's the cash cow and merchandising him is huge. If he were 'alive' again then they could sell toys of him in different suits and shit.


File: c2a31d008cf4ada⋯.jpg (97.11 KB, 1871x976, 1871:976, 34265345234523453.jpg)

Not one fucking chaika yet, really?



Literally, who?



Nah, they already accidentally leaked with a toy on Amazon that the nigger is Lando's son, and there's no way they can sell a literal ape as being 3/4 white.


I would be okay with this. Sheev did nothing wrong.



Kind of. The force wasn't really about morality, and given the path they've been taking in the new EU, it'll be that the force has a will of it's own and can't be controlled. It's going to be a destiny story.


Remember, Finn is going to be gay and end up with that spic pilot Poe.

Finn's gonna get B E A N E D




>7+ 4 + 2 + 1 + 4 + 4 = 22


All of that is confirmed.



>“The Most Shocking Truth In Star Wars History”

Either C3P0 is not gay or Rey is Sheev


File: 47c91de83f634c8⋯.png (277.97 KB, 706x412, 353:206, cute elf with question mar….png)



is name is literally one letter off from being "a yid".


File: b91861edcf5ca9b⋯.webm (Spoiler Image, 121.55 KB, 720x400, 9:5, 1467641439148.webm)


>Watto doesn't wear a yarmulke or attend shul

>He isn't studious, intelligent, or well-spoken

>He neither gives to his community, nor adds anything to the society at large.

>THESE are the stereotypes of Jews



That's the persistent rumor. Rey is the chosen one who brings balance to the force. Along with this rumor, there are another ones saying that Yoda, Obi-Wan (Ewan McGregor) and Anakin (Hayden Christensen) are going to appear as Force Ghosts.

So basically Rey is Korra



>literally one letter



>a Yod

>a Yid



But Watto DOES wear a yarmulke.



>Rey is Sheev

That would be fucking awesome. If only Snoke was Darth Plagueis


File: 90d685062ccef6c⋯.gif (464.01 KB, 400x168, 50:21, kekeev.gif)


>Rey is Sheev

That would make these new Shlock Wars films worth existing.



I hope they don't run with the Chosen One angle, but considering how bad Kathleen Kennedy and Jew Jew Binks cucked up The Farce Engorges, it wouldn't surprise me.


Kek. Yoda is a Hebrew word meaning "the one who knows" and a Sanskrit word meaning "great warrior". Pretty clever naming, actually, since Luke goes in thinking Yoda will be a great warrior but he ends up being a tiny green alien who focuses on wisdom and mysticism.


So this confirms they're stealing the plotpoint from Kotor about Jedi and Sith being two sides of the same coin and as bad as each other.



I don't know much about the stuff surrounding the prequels but I've always imagined that Plagueis and Sheev were the same person.



>“The Most Shocking Truth In Star Wars History”




Watto knows about the jewish mind tricks, obviously he's one of them.


Kylo Ren kind of looks like JJ Abrams so maybe Kylo will end up the hero??



>kikes adding to any community

fuck off



They might actually be able to salvage the trilogy, if the twist is that Rey turns to the darkside and Kylo turns to the light. A hyper competent protagonist and a villain who can't do shit is boring as fuck, but make them switch places and then maybe you've got something.


YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.


Plagueis was Sheev's master. Sheev killed him after he learned everything from him.

Snoke looks very similar to Plagueis designs, but Andy Serkis denied Snoke was Plagueis

I still hope that was just a diversion


File: cd60e65b30a88c5⋯.png (474.1 KB, 1080x1920, 9:16, starwars normalfag guess.png)


even the normalfags are coming up with better ideas than this korra bullshit.

the only good idea is if Ray's super speshal mary sue powers lead her to going to he dark side while Luke kick's Kylo's shit in, forgives him, and turns him to the light side.



>the only good idea is if Ray's super speshal mary sue powers lead her to going to he dark side while Luke kick's Kylo's shit in, forgives him, and turns him to the light side.

That's fucking stupid. Why do people like obvious trite shit like this?


File: 51b2368aa31ab14⋯.gif (2.49 MB, 505x261, 505:261, Luke hammers Vader.gif)



because it's better than the shit we got. It's not like the basis of star wars main storyline is anything new. You could write the whole thing in a sword and sorcery tale with knights who have the ability to cast spells and unbreakable swords and the shit would be the same fucking thing.



>because it's better than the shit we got.

I would disagree. A 'lol we're switching sides SO RANDOM' is so bad I could see it happening.

It's a bad idea because it throws out all the characterization of the first movie. But anon, you might be saying, we want to throw it out. Well, you can't. It exists, and removing shit that exists will be jarring and suck the viewer out of the story. Can't just 'it was all a dream' this shit. It sets up the final fight to be a fuckup autistic manchild who has killed people against a lesser trained girl who is now the villain. It just doesn't work.

I could see Rey killing Kylo Ren and becoming Snoke's new apprentice, which would make Ren's character a total joke. Maybe she'll kill Luke too as a 'omigad she badass' moment. Then the third movie is Finn winning Rey back to the light with BBC.

In fact, I'm going with this. This is what's going to happen.


File: cd96e2fd4848ef0⋯.png (380.76 KB, 330x454, 165:227, utfc5.png)

File: add28dd2126a19b⋯.png (250.83 KB, 330x454, 165:227, u34tfc5.png)


>snoke looks very similar to Plagueis




The A.R.R. was funded by The I.G.B.C. the whole time…



The first movie had characterization? Was it between all those scripted action scenes? Rey is good with machines and has abandonment issues and Finn just turns sides and kills his former brethren because it was the right thing to do. I guess that is characterization but it was pretty bad characterization. Replace them with a piece of toast and the story is barely affected by them being gone.


File: 807dfc3f7f41ae5⋯.jpg (97.48 KB, 2920x316, 730:79, 1469303069625.jpg)


It will be this. Future Jedi will learn to "balance" the force.



RotS was pure kino you plen



>“The Most Shocking Truth In Star Wars History”

the gungans did 9/11



>Then the third movie is Finn winning Rey back to the light with BBC.

Faggot, Finn is gonna go gay and get BEANED by Poe.


>Future Jedi will learn to "balance" the force.

Not necessarily a bad idea. Problem is the producers and writers of the new movies are all pozzed and pumping out shit. At least Rebels has been good, and made this whole "balance the force" angle work from a mystical angle rather than a moral one.


Only the Sheev parts



Rey was a headstrong bitch. Kylo Ren was weak and confused. I wouldn't find it a huge stretch for them to develop along those paths.


File: af9e54394acaf5a⋯.jpg (302.37 KB, 1082x1404, 541:702, IMG_0685.JPG)

I really hope this means they do something so monumentally stupid and nonsensical in an attempt at an EBIN TWEEST that even normalfags are disgusted.



>B L A C K E D

>B E A N E D

Will there ever be a C H I N K E D meme?



The Pozz is strong with this one.


File: c73318e8b9b9094⋯.jpg (52.01 KB, 599x585, 599:585, R I C E D.jpg)


Yes. It's called gettin' R I C E D



You burn the coal, you pay the toll

You farm the rice, you pay the price

You eat the bean(s), you…



You know what I mean?


File: a814cf25083a702⋯.jpg (212.41 KB, 829x1221, 829:1221, 1494422764739.jpg)


Force Tree



I remember the thread that image was made in. I was the anon that's quote was used in that.

I still like the R I C E D meme, though. It makes me chuckle.



>You burn the coal, you pay the toll

>You farm the rice, you pay the price

>You eat re-fry the bean,

You'll never be clean.



thats ripping off snape killing dumbledore on purpose tho



>The force wasn't really about morality

But it was. The symbolism of the "light side" and the "dark side" was thinner than fucking paper.



>Remember, Finn is going to be gay and end up with that spic pilot Poe.

I think Finn is intended to pair up with Rey. The theory that he's going to go gay for the spic is just because he had better chemistry with Poe than he did with Rey, and that's almost entirely because Ridley is a terrible actress.


File: 79f03c0ee121071⋯.mp4 (5.33 MB, 1280x720, 16:9, Daisy Ridley is a Charisma….mp4)


>It's a bad idea because it throws out all the characterization of the first movie

>all the characterization of the first movie

>the first movie




luke is gay

rey is a lesbian



There I saved you $8.


YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.


>The symbolism of the "light side" and the "dark side" was thinner than fucking paper.

The Force was just a renamed ying and yang from Chinese mythology. The whole point of the Force is to be "balanced", to not let one side, dark or light, dominate, but instead have both with equal footing. It is the exact same as ying and yang, but characters using it can use telekinesis and shoot lightning out of their hands. Hell, ying and yang are just Chinese for "Dark and light".


>video related

Skip to about 2:10, listen to what the spic is saying, and watch Bongoyega's face.


>implying I would ever pay to see the new Schlock Wars movie

>implying I won't just sneak in so I can complain about it on /tv/


File: 6bc8ad382b8db13⋯.png (8.45 KB, 255x169, 255:169, edee7d895b7be9888971ebf3cc….png)



Woah that really shocked me


File: 3341d8889b16b13⋯.png (418.04 KB, 600x802, 300:401, Asuka Question.png)


>He-Identifies as AssMan that is.

But he doesn't have a ass.



>“The Most Shocking Truth In Star Wars History”

that the script is written BEFORE the toys are designed?


rey is a man


File: af2d556b49ff679⋯.png (415.45 KB, 655x653, 655:653, 9000keks.png)


That made me kek harder than I expected



>Who is this marketed to anymore that this would be an earth-shattering experience?

Everyone on the planet ? They had so much marketing that I am pretty sure there are adds even in syria, in the conflict zones.



What characterization?All of Reys charter is being perfect. I honesty don't know what your referring too.


rey is transgender and defeats the patriarchy by shoving her cock down its throat



Ray facefucking Kylo would be pretty funny tbh.



She practically did that already. Poor emo Sith Apprentice and former student of Luke Skywalker got the shit kicked out of him by some scavenger girl from the middle of butt-fuck nowhere, who had never used the force or been in a lightsaber duel before their fight.

I swear, I've read Star Wars fanfiction better than this



once you go Mexican you don't want to have sex again.



That's not Plagueis though.


File: 7cb400f3f5cde24⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image, 60.45 KB, 533x800, 533:800, Ct4HEpNWgAQHFZl.jpg)


>Ray facefucking Kylo would be pretty hot tbh.




same species, same thing.



Anybody else find they are just so desensitized to traps and trannies they don't fap to them anymore?

At this point the only porn I like is solo women jiggling.


Han Solo and his son are in a shitty movie. Han Solo dies *spoiler*, and his son is taken to the nearest jedi indoctrination centre. The greatest jedi prodigy comes in and exlaims "I can't teach this padawan."

"Why not?" the audience asks.

"Because i'm a nigger," the prodigy responds.

How is this possible?



>remember how people hated it when they though the prequels redefined what the force was(even though it actually didn't and they were just stupid)?

>let's do that.



~>the force is a tree

We Avatar now??


File: f662ddb82e8c003⋯.jpg (24.07 KB, 469x348, 469:348, old-luke-skywalker.jpg)

Imagine being Luke Skywalker

>Fight empire to bring freedom to Galaxy

>Help establish New Republic

>Start new Jedi school

>take in emo nephew because your sister asked you to.

>New Republic turns out to be corrupt as the old one.

>Jedi academy goes to shit when nephew goes Colombine on the place destroying you life's work.

>Everything you fought for has gone to shit or is destroyed.

>All youthful optimism destroyed.

Being Luke is suffering.


File: 19842e8e04b4acc⋯.jpg (149.54 KB, 634x845, 634:845, 323CAD9800000578-3494538-i….jpg)


The Force tree is dumb as fuck but I'm equally put off by the book in it. Star Wars isn't supposed to have books, it's no longer a galaxy far far away but more and more conventional and normal.



I'm sure you'll come around again.

It comes in waves for me. Problem is, no matter how pretty the girl theres like a 90 percent chance shell have a roast beef flap pussy


'the force' is actually the patriarchy and rey is the only person in the universe who can forever defeat it and replace it with an omni-benevolent matriarchy.




>The force is a magical Na'vi tree!

>Oh shit the bad guy blew up our magical Na'vi tree, we're so sad!

>This is the dark part of the trilogy!

>Our tree is gone and we can't use the force!

>Oh wait it was inside us all along!



We are Groot.



oh fuck every movie is starting to blur together


the real secret is that nothing will happen or be explained, it will set up a bunch of more "mysteries" and cliffhangers and the buck will be passed to episode 9, which will again fail to deliver

this is the soap opera bullshit of a film series slated to continue indefinitely


File: 7bccddb8b6febb3⋯.png (110.17 KB, 250x289, 250:289, f4d6e272e1a869d627a02d0ff9….png)


The mystery box design will make people lose interest after IV I hope. It's shit tier writing to just throw mysteries at the viewer with no intention of ever resolving them. It's fine to have things go unexplained but you're supposed to hide that away rather than to make it the centerpiece.



>the force has a will of its own

That's why Kreia hated the force in KOTOR 2



>rebels has been good




Rebels has been good. Much better than the schlock the movie team at Disney has been shitting out.



why do people act as if these movies are revealing true events that actually happened in the past? Like, when Rogue One was coming out every was saying

>I cant believe we're finally going to see how the rebels got the Death Star plans!

Even though it's probably been explained several times over in the expanded universe.


>in case you need another reason

I'd settle for one reason.



Sounds like they movie they should have made instead of A new Hope 2.



Mark Hamill's gonna shoot up the studio if that happens.



That Star Wars is a cashcow and that Japanese ad is clickbait? Spaceballs 2: The Quest for More Money NEVER EVER



It's The Search For More Money, and yes, Mel Brooks is supposedly working on it.



So he is doing it. Good I was hoping he would follow up on that.


File: 48de0bab38437a5⋯.jpg (3.99 KB, 275x183, 275:183, The Schwartz.jpg)


The Schwartz is inside you, Lone Star!



>I cant believe we're finally going to see how the rebels got the Death Star plans!

By erasing the accomplishments of the Bothan spies in favor of a human centric group of Rebel infiltrators?



He said the only reason he decided to actually do it was because the new of the Star Wars films. Hopefully he'll keep it subtle and won't overly kike the film. Blazing Saddles was about as kiked as it gets back in the 70s, but he didn't kike up Space Balls with anything more than sex jokes.



And also getting rid of Kyle Katarn from the canon.



>getting rid of Kyle Katarn

They didn't really get rid of him, they just turned him into a whipped manlet that dies trying to save a shriveled up, worthless cunt.



The latino guy in the movie was Kyle Katarn? I thought he was just some separate rebel character.



It's what the yids butchered him into.



Weird, I thought the Jedi dude on Star Wars Rebels was the Kyle Katarn stand in.



I thought he was a ripoff of that blind Jedi general from Force Unleashed.



I think they may have mixed the two characters. I've noticed they've taken stuff from the old EU and turned it into something else for their own purposes.





We know that. He was called George. Bullies smashed his snowglobe.



Nah, that's the blind gook from Rogue One.


>Kylo Ren

>Kyle Katarn + Revan




>tfw not gay and therefore have never found trannies attractive in any way

feels good man


>da Jedi are da evil!


>Rey is da true balance!

I don't really care either way. It's all bad fanfiction I won't be watching.



Yet you're being a faggot right now.

Nothing a gay about a cute girl with a nice hard cock. Dicks are all men really think about anyway. Chances are you'll touch more dick than pussy in your life. Think about that.



>you're a man, therefore you're sexually attracted to men

Fag logic in action, gr8 b8 m8.



>you in charge of reading comprehension

men aren't inheritantly attracted to men, they have a fascination with penises. So a hot chick with a penis is really not as crazy as it seems at first glance.



>men have a fascination with penises

Maybe although maybe that's not all men and you're projecting. But for argument's sake let's say this is true. Even then I don't think you can rationalize getting sexually aroused by the sight of dicks or a dick as anything other than homosexuality. If you have that you're just gay.

And counter-example: Men aren't nearly as obsessed with dicks as women are with MUH VAGINA, yet you don't see women masturbating getting aroused by the concept of a man with a vagina. Just admit to yourself that you're into men.


File: e3075e2076a4c19⋯.jpeg (10.64 KB, 320x160, 2:1, Death-Star-II_b5760154.jpeg)


Wrong Death Star dumbass.


File: e262ff0324979f5⋯.gif (1023.15 KB, 600x600, 1:1, thonk.gif)


Would this actually happen?

Why didn't previous trilogy characters do this?



File: b5e3698b349d22f⋯.gif (1.99 MB, 372x323, 372:323, MY GOD MY FACE.gif)




>TFW normalfags and SJW-hipsters will praise (((J.J. Abrams))) for doing the same "force comes from a source of a power stone" shit that people hated the prequels for doing



The idea of tiny organisms in your blood stream giving you magic powers is retarded. The magic tree is stupider, but still.

>there's this mystical, mysterious "force" that exists within all life, and some are more sensitive to it than others

>its because they have bugs in their blood

It would have been okay if it was explained that those things were created by or attracted to a strong connection with the force, so a count of them would make sense.


File: 07f838ee591c315⋯.jpg (84.02 KB, 620x372, 5:3, 14819991349890.jpg)


>tiny organisms in your blood stream giving you magic powers

I'm not sure if it is sad or funny that George aimed the prequels at teenagers and tried to be as didactic and simple as possible yet people still don't understand midichlorians at all.



This is not the big contradiction that spergs like Stoklasa thought. The EU had said for years that Force Usage was either with you at birth or not.



What is asianmasculinity? Is it like PUA but exclusively asian guys?


File: 9540bc3bd0937cb⋯.png (87.61 KB, 774x584, 387:292, Screenshot_2017-05-21-1936….png)



Sounds like reddit is getting high off their own farts again



Yeah, its not a step too far off the beaten path. It would have been a neat idea if it kept with the idea of the force being mystical and the midichlorians being a byproduct of that, in my opinion. The only thing I have against it is the explanation, really.


The Canon and EU did a much better job of explaining that midichlorians were what allowed force-users to connect with the force, but it adds a layer of complexity that isn't necessary. It would make more since, to me, to cut the midichlorians completely and just say some people can connect with the force better than others.


YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.


Midichlorians aren't the force though. They clearly refer to them as distinct entities. Whether or not midichlorians were a good idea is debatable, but they're not the force.



Disney do shill on reddit, but this is retarded. I doubt Disney will want to bring up anything vaguely EU or prequel related even.



Disney actively tried to shift away from the prequels.



>kill a guy in his sleep

>but they never found the body

>and then he continued playing dead to troll everybody

>and changed his name so that everybody would think he was some different powerful dark side force user, not this other guy who was completely unknown and shrouded in secrecy in the first place




that's true and probably more relevant than the fact that it's a fucking stupid idea

I'll take a wild guess it's some guy personally trained by Darth Vader who has never been mentioned before for no good reason



>I'll take a wild guess it's some guy personally trained by Darth Vader who has never been mentioned before for no good reason

Well there is Gallius Rex who was friend to Palpatine at one point. http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Gallius_Rax


File: 235acdd4359d48c⋯.png (324.45 KB, 611x717, 611:717, 36671b6d90b901f41671738024….png)

>Star Wars has been shit for decades, no redemption expected

>Star Trek has been shit for decades, no redemption expected

>Firefly was cancelled, and its creator went full-commie leftard

>Farscape got shitty at the end and has been of the air for more than a decade

>Babylon 5, Stargate, Battlestar Galactica are all fading memories

Is there any hope for Space Opera?



>Is there any hope


>for Space Opera?

Also no, obviously



>its creator went full-commie leftard

Wasn't Joss always kind of a libtard?



I'd rather see Jews In Space tbh




either you're not a man or you're an emasculated faggot




this actually sounds most likely.



Was he a good friend?


File: 2143d88ad367731⋯.png (22.26 KB, 481x345, 481:345, 'Midi-chlorian'.png)


>The idea of tiny organisms in your blood stream giving you magic powers is retarded, But lol anyone can have magic pwers if you just believe! xD is not…


Also Midi-chlorians are not the force to begin with..



>And also getting rid of Kyle Katarn from the (((canon)))



File: 7745100493d3c5f⋯.jpg (89.75 KB, 500x713, 500:713, 8173247859132444132465.jpg)



>the force is a tree

>Luke talks about ending the jedi

calling it now

Luke is Kreia

Rey is the Exile


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