http://steamcommunity.com/id/WackyWorldOfMaricpls be my friend and I might give you a game or some shit like that.
And then maybe, one day, I'll give you enough games that you'll be inclined to meet with me IRL, at which point, I kipnap you and keep you as my sex slave - but I am quickly caught by the feds, and so I hang myself in my cell whilst you attend hundreds of therapy sessions over the years to overcome your mental trauma.
God, I love happy endings.