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/v9k/ - Virgin9000

The last place before the void


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File: 33b45411597da12⋯.jpg (454.23 KB, 1920x1080, 16:9, 567y475767454645y5b4gg4.jpg)


Discuss, or complain about anything related to the board, moderation, or any decisions made here. Post your suggestions or concerns here or email me them, I do read them.

Email me at: [email protected]

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I visited them few days a go. all i can say is, they're bullshits! they suck

File: 4a196f8986ca84f⋯.jpg (767.34 KB, 1920x1080, 16:9, beautiful-01.jpg)


Hello. The banner function is back up and working again (finally) and it is time for our own dedicated banners. When I inherited this board, the current banners appear to be very similar if not the same to wizardchan ones, and since this board differs from that site, I think it is important that we secure our board 'identity' with our own custom banners.

Keep submitting banners, as this is an ongoing thing until I feel we have enough.

1. Banners must not exceed 500KB (that is, 512000 bytes).

2. Only the following filetypes are permissable:





3. Banners must be exactly 300px wide and 100px high.

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File: 86fa9d91ff3f775⋯.png (70.16 KB, 300x100, 3:1, banner.png)

I didn't know what font to choose.

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If this place was born from the burst pus bubble of /r9k/'s ass, which was born from the burst pus bubble of SJWchan /r9k/'s ass, then I guess I'll be the one to begin this necessary containment thread.

I'm not doing this for you fucking spergshits or nothing. Fuck you all.'

555 posts and 131 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


Job interview today. It's for a call center position. It looks like a bad company to work for. I also haven't had an interview in over a month. It's situations like this that make me wanna die. I hope I don't get an offer.







I hope you play on PC m8ey

http://steam community.com/id/RobertJSullivan/

I'm a kv cyborg so I can probably relate to some feels. I have relatively shit internet connection right now because I'm not in my home country but it's playable sometimes. I'll be back at home with a stable connection early April.


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Yeah…I'm pretty much at the same place…but too lazy and empty to start a blog or discuss it with people.


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Had that dream of that girl again, she doesn't know I exist, But for some reason, I'm in love with her(?), never had that feeling before, so I'm not really sure.

>can't get her off my mind

>when I really remember her I feel my chest caving in

>don't feel empty

>feel dusty/ashy on the inside

>remember the lines on her face and the things she says

it makes me wanna hold on, but die at the same time

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>perfect height for a man

>wavy blonde hair

>neither extremely fat or rail thin

>am intelliegent when it comes to solving problems between other people, sort of like social working

>not an anime or a nintendo fanboy

>not a lolcow (for the most part anyway)

>chieseled jaw

>big dick


>too feminine for women

>body is not fit enough for women (No muscles and soft skin)

>too nice for women

>too moral for women

>too lazy for women

>not interested enough to go out and get a girlfriend

>not interesting enough for women

>too dirty and lack too much hygiene for women (do not wash hands, brush teeth, take shower, etc.)

>too ocd and mentally ill to properly talk to women and men for long periods of time

>look like a slavmongol and don't have blue eyes

>my body posture is sometimes odd

>got a bad habit of crinkling papers and drawing cartoons on them

>am retarded when it comes to knowing what to say in a very short period of time, so i don't say anything at all, or remembering/following directions.

>voice changes pitch here and there from sometimes being deep and borderline-normal to having a squeaky high-pitched voice sounding like a complete faggot beta who plays LoL and Starwars games 24/7

>get too attached with people and get too comfortable with them in short periods of time, saying things that would get a bit too personal.

>very rarely develop lolcow behavior in public

>mostly a nerd who loves science, math and psychology, and studying history and goPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

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If you're tall and good looking and can't laid I wish a frustrated insane man shoots you along with all the succubi


File: 1198579d154d68e⋯.jpg (714.38 KB, 2774x1993, 2774:1993, deep_thought.jpg)



>average height

>very good at visualizing anything

>decent navigation

>emotionally & mentally stable

>proficient in faking character when it comes to dealing with normalfags

>often make people laugh by suprising them with acceptable (?) ammounts of austism or autistic humor

>decent intelligence

>pretty eyes I've heard it three times by different unrelated people

>sometimes get autistic bursts of productivity

>not addicted to anything excluding imageboards even though I've tried several things that are considered addicting

>sponge for information

>positive outlook on life most of the times

>probably not deranged


>weird birthmarks


>no muscle mass at all

>probably sick with all kinds of diseases


>greatly dislike crowds of people, hate most group situations

>overthinking everything often I catch myself onverthinking about overthinking

>constantly daydreaming

>know-it-all even though most knowledge is only superficial and barely enough to get a conversation going

>highly avoidand

>lazy as fuck

>lose grip of reality sometimes mistaking dreams for memories and vice versa

>chronically lying without realizing most of the times

>trust issues

>can't properly look at people

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.



>>I want to replace my body with a spider tank

Tachikoma a cute, a cute!



>white, but tan

>nice looking eyes

>look good with my head shaved

>Lift weights 5 days a week, and run at least a mile a day

>don't watch anime

>have a decently attractive face

>8 inch dick


>autism spectrum disorder

>never wake up before noon

>never had a job

>almost didn't graduate high school

>anger issues

>self harm when angry (i don't cut for attention, I hit things with my head and/or punch myself)

>have issues falling asleep

>my interests aren't interesting to 99% of people, and 100% of women

>spend at least 4 hours a day on 8chan

>have issues with brushing my teeth

haven't done it in two weeks now

>anytime I talk to another person I'm constantly questioning if my body language, positioning, or eye contact is hinting that something's wrong

>Just like everybody reading this right now, I just lost the game


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>not retarded

>pretty attractive

>good jawline

>somewhat fit (working on it)

>never get sick

>never get acne

>hair is extremely thick and probably won't go bald until i'm 90

>hard worker



>small dick

>very feminine, have no arm hair

>0 confidence

>unable to talk to 90% of people I meet

>constantly ignore friends and blow off people so I can jerk off and play vidya

>can't have fun with anything anymore because I know i'm just meaningless in a cosmic sense

>poor hygenic habits

>own a pet snake, which a lot of girls are afraid of

>momma's boy

>can never do well in any academia

>voice cracks all the time

>vision is absolute shit

>can't jerk off to 3DPD anymore

File: 368b9ace79b7b58⋯.png (171.66 KB, 372x411, 124:137, ClipboardImage.png)


>"Anon, you need to clean before you help another customer."

>"Anon, you shouldn't be focusing on cleaning when a customer is there. The customer always comes first."

>"Anon, are you done cleaning? Well why did you stop?"

>"Anon, when you come into work you need to say hi to everyone"

>"Stop saying 'what' all the time, it's so disrespectful."


9 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.



I'm already into redpill shit, but thanks for the reminder.

As stated in >>10718 she's not actually my manager, just the most experienced employee once the real boss and most of the workers leave as the night shift begins.

I have a hard time faking shit when it comes to people I'm constantly around, which is just fucking bullshit. If I was a girl, I could be on my phone a whole bunch, and as long as I was chummy with her I'd be able to get away with a multitude of shit.

But I've started standing up for myself more, and I've gotten shit like

>Boy better watch his tone around me

or getting upset how I said "no" when she accused me of doing something I didn't do.

And all I can really think is the anger at that comes from a direct result of me defying her perceived "power" over me, despite her not having any actual rank above me. And that I'm the only one who's done that so far.


File: ce444624559ba54⋯.png (134.32 KB, 398x482, 199:241, you get used to it.png)


>"Anon, when you come into work you need to say hi to everyone"

Saying hi to people is the difference between being labelled as "asshole" or just "quiet". You might as well since it doesn't take much effort, it saves you from larger future annoyances.


File: 85f5d2a41a5ef19⋯.png (94.12 KB, 362x492, 181:246, (notorious white supremaci….png)


>being a wagecuck


>bitch keeps complaining about everything I do

>asked if I was doing okay here to a coworker

>they said I was doing fine, asked why I'd think that

>explain how I keep getting shit from her

>next shift, she gets the manager and tells me to not "be spreadin' lies" or "'tryin' to start shit''", how it's work and people don't have to like me, and other shit like that.

I talked to some people about it, asking for advice, and thinking of what to do. Eventually I came to the conclusion she's a miserable cunt who seeks to have power over other people, and I'm just going to stand up for myself when she tries to.

She can't have power over me if I don't give it to her.

The worst that'll happen is I get fired, and I was debating quitting anyway so it's not like I'd be distraught over it.


Yeah, I guess I'll start. It's just every single thing I do seems to earn nothing but verbal abuse.



I think I'm gonna save my wages so I can cover some travel expenses. I don't want to kill myself in the same hellhole I've lived in for all these years. Say, you wouldn't happen to know of any pleasant locations that don't cost a fortune to visit, would you?

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Anyone been to MEPS?

This shit makes waiting at the clinic a walk in the fucking park

Holy shit, I have been here for 6 hours and am losing my mind, I just got done with the ASVAB, anyone else have experiences?

23 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


File: 10db8693d4d5dc3⋯.gif (398.04 KB, 720x715, 144:143, 1483540379466.gif)



How is this not original



Err, I don't understand the context of

reply(Internet is autism simulator)

Not sure on what planet to people LARP as a scout, because most either are unimpressed or don't know what the fuck they are; Why is that Pokémon tripping balls?


I just got my MEPS date for the muhreens

what to expect? Besides dress nice, and it'll be boring what should I know



>could of


Nah, I think they placed you where you should be.



I believe their MEPS uniform is a polo shirt and pair of decent looking pants. Just stretch and prepare for the "underwear olympics". You'll be just fine.

File: fc2291defc436f7⋯.jpg (51.73 KB, 600x600, 1:1, 1911441.jpg)


This is the best I can find. Someone should make a Mega or torrent of all the best most depressing /v9k/ appropriate images.

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File: 5393e4529d3bcf7⋯.jpg (61.13 KB, 700x525, 4:3, 1433205281557.jpg)

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Originial spice and herbs nah mean


File: 14207643a4b3292⋯.png (815.54 KB, 900x900, 1:1, 1470864146170.png)


coming through with one of my favorites


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a few more my man


File: 261e4c6bba4b565⋯.png (27.79 KB, 1389x237, 463:79, 1473961895333.png)

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File: 9781eca38cc55ce⋯.jpg (24.46 KB, 540x405, 4:3, 1468690525838.jpg)


why not a few more eh?


File: b475a419a7aa16d⋯.png (1.11 MB, 883x584, 883:584, 1462986065730.png)

Just stamp my fucking visa

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.


I'm going to get a lot of shit for this but I'm just going to ask and pray someone can help me or maybe we can discuss this topic so I can better figure out what I am going to do

I am a 30+ virgin male and am having difficulty with my penis. Specifically my foreskin. I have never been able to retract my foreskin and for many years it was fine. It has always been an annoying problem to deal with but something that never really bothered me too greatly. I just had to do certain things a different way or very gently

I'm unsure if this is even possible but my foreskin opening seems to be getting tighter which is making things uncomfortable for me. I've never heard of this before. Masturbation is becoming a bit painful and it has been hurting when I wash my penis.

I masturbate very frequently and have always tried to pull back the skin and keep it to the point where it can stretch the most but I was never able to go back too far. Pic related is how my penis would look if I tried to pull it as far back as it could go. Obviously, it doesn't go far back

>I'm wondering if anyone has any successful stories on just forcefully pulling it back and fighting through the pain?

13 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.



What do you mean?

I dont understand you



The foreskin is elastic(in that it can grow over time), if you would stretch it regularly you would see a difference. Going by this it seems like you only tried stretching once.



>phimosis don't real

>circumcision exists for literally no reason




Here is another low efffort (you)



>simple typo


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/v9k/ is one of the few boards that hasnt and probably will never be affected by the massive influx of newfags that have plagued this site since the fucking presidential election.

Things have gone down hill and if you spend a good hour on /pol/ or /v/ you will see what I mean.

The amount of people fucking up redtext and showing off their newness to the site is reprehensible. People are posting obvious old ass 4cuck .jpg's along with soundless webms, and really really shitty gifs that look like they are straight out of 2013. People reddit spacing or in any other fashion making it known they are from reddit.

This site is going to shit but we appear to have a somewhat safe haven on /v9k/.

I don't even go to /r9k/ anymore after that faggot pantsu fractured the userbase. I'm willing to bet that /r9k/ is trash now too, but due to reasons other than newfags shitting it up.

Other boards that appear unaffected by the influx of newfags are:

/a/, /b/, /tv/, and /co/.

Really the only 2 major boards affected by the election were /pol/ and /v/. I guess faggot ledditors just love ebin politics and video games.

Among all the problems of having faggot redditors come here the most prominent is people creating shit threads that historically have had no place on the board.

It might be time for an exodus soon.

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File: 0185bdb2e2c77b4⋯.jpg (150.26 KB, 789x689, 789:689, 1425516281840.jpg)


>accuses others of being reddit

>reddit spaces


File: d6b8df603198933⋯.jpg (284.51 KB, 1941x1259, 1941:1259, how normalfags ruin everyt….jpg)


I did it in purpose to see if it would catch the attention of those redditors. It's nice to see there are still robots fighting in here.


File: f94d7d5fae20df4⋯.jpg (44.35 KB, 736x414, 16:9, 142118b368e540bcde4983947c….jpg)


Oh look, it's the "waah it sucks now" speech we've heard ten-thousand times since the early 80's.


File: f22d66be7a5294f⋯.jpg (19.17 KB, 287x400, 287:400, 122220473899.jpg)


>da j00zu desu ne yo

uwee hee hee conspiracy dipshits r teh funniez xD xD


File: 0d5e0a7e64653e4⋯.mp4 (1.87 MB, 960x720, 4:3, Gee, I wonder who could be….mp4)



I truly wonder who wrote this…

File: 2b3d504bc2f1534⋯.jpg (126.57 KB, 580x903, 580:903, van.jpg)


http://cytu.be/r/8chtvmovienights is a 8ch based cytube channel that streams exploitation movies, B movies and anything low budget and "so bad it's good". We host a movie night 3 nights a week where about 10 people (most from the /*9k/ community) hang out and laugh at bad movies and perky titties.

Stream starts at 11:00 pm GMT (http://www.timeanddate.com/time/zones/gmt) Monday, Wednesday, Saturday and shows 1 or 2 movies at a time. If you want a later/earlier show then we're happy to do those if enough people ask.

Movie suggestions are welcome but must be a full movie on Youtube and can't be mainstream B movies. We're not looking for The Room, Troll 2 or anything featured by RLM. We've looking to find the gems people missed and to watch new movies together not rehash old ones.

The /v9k/ BO has been very welcoming to us and I would ask people not to only bump the thread for the sake of bumping it.

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I'm conflicted because the Christians in Lebanon were of ancient Phoenician genetics but were allies of Israel while the Muslims were communists and Palestinian monkeys.



It was an alliance of necessity and Bashir was starting to distance himself from them shortly before he was assassinated. He wanted to use them against Syria. Once that was done he could rely on the US against Israel because the Reagan administration was very supportive of him.



I'm most definitely missing something but how would that've work considering Reagan was the first cuckservative unless Reagan thought "hmm they have worked with Israel he won't start a grind with them."


Jessica in Invitation to Hell was Satan

Friday night, I have some spooky stuff for you all.


This Friday, I might be late. If I am, grin can take over and start the stream with more Ghost Stories (ep7 on) or a movie

The plan for this Friday is more Ghost Stories and the sequel to the one about the Aryan Mad Max Super Soldier.

File: c6df33dfcb6a04e⋯.gif (1.99 MB, 330x275, 6:5, c6df33dfcb6a04e3ec25608bf3….gif)


>extremely bored, to the point where I do stupid things

>go to pornhub to see what normal people masturbate too

>it's full of BLACKED, trap/girls with straps and arab women wearing a veil

>it's not amateur, most of those are made by big names and (at first glance at least) they have high production value for a porn video

It's not a meme, isnt it. (((They))) are actually forcing it in any way possible


>full of BLACKED

This is one of the many reasons why I can't get into normalfag porn. Just stick to cp OP

Not only are the girls more attractive but you know these girls are actually virgins and when it says

>Fucking Daddy


>Sucking off my brother

You know it's true

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Anyone has experience playing tabletop games in hobby shops? I know these are the first resort for /v9k/ tier human trash who wants to socialize, someone here must've tried

I will play a few games of battletech with some guy, maybe more, all around their 40-50s because they are the only people who play this anymore. I need any advice, just post your experiences. I am already aware that these hobbies attract all kinds of autism including completely insufferable cunts, I already know to avoid those


I have before. I don't play but I did enjoy the banter and watching them play. I'm a loner so it gave me a bit of a reason to socialize a bit

I'd go more often if it wasn't for the smell and typically trashy accommodations.

Like 90% of the people I've met are grossly overweight and don't seem to notice their own body odor. Then you get 10-20 of the same guys in one small room with no air conditioning the smell is horrendous. Plus, a lot of them don't seem to realize that farting is in bad manners in public and in a small confined area

So I stopped going



Jesus christ. I guess you entered a very close group that would rarely get any outsiders. The place I found is big enough and it has ventilation, the people look hygienic enough

In any case, do you have anything that I should know or is it just normal socializing and I have to bee?



I have no advice. I never talked to any of them

I would go because there was a Japanese (actually Japanese. Like a 90 year old mama-san owned it) shop that sold real imported Japanese goods and hand-made food. So I'd go there to buy bentos and ramen and Japanese cakes

Then I'd walk like 10 feet to the next door "hobby shop" where the guys would be playing. I'd just walk in and plop myself somewhere and watch them play and laugh at their jokes. Never actually talked to any of them. I wanted to but they never acknowledged me so I figured it would be best if I just shut up

Did this for weeks until it was around mid-Summer and the heat was unbearable and it smelled so bad that I didn't feel like going again. Even if the bentos were amazing

File: e8db0ba14b1936b⋯.gif (1.47 MB, 320x180, 16:9, delicious.gif)


>tfw going into the army

I'll be the heaviest armed lad on this entire board.

50 posts and 16 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.



35 pushups, 42 situps and 15 minute run.



>tfw joining the marines

thanks for giving us your stuff from the 80s i guess



lol no. Good on you though. All I can say to anyone here who's interested is to

>1.Cardio first

Heart is most important muscle.

>2.learn to daydream

Summon a tulpa if you have to. You will be bored and you will see people succumb to it.

> 3.OPSEC!!!!

Keep important info to yourself. Not that anyone here is like this but don't that guy who tells all his love interests when and where he's deploying or takes pictures of the armory.


That shit got me through OSUT. To see the more hostile normalfags waiver to their addictions and minimal sleep, as I spent my free time reading the blue book or drawing. Sure, having a PC would have made it better, but I was one of the more well-off people.



Good luck, OP. Navy linguist here, pretty comfy job.

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Does /v9k/ have phones?

I broke mine a week ago and finally got a replacement one only to find I hadn't gotten a single call or text the entire time it was broken.

I don't normally get calls or text anyway but not having it for a week had me hoping that maybe this time it would be different.

Now I wonder why I even have a phone

8 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.



Well, in my experience, my family thinks it's ridiculous that I use anything other than the latest model of smartphone. It's nothing serious, but it got me the reputation of being a miser, so every time I spend money on anything - even birthday and Christmas presents for people - they pretend that it must have been excruciating for me. It's rather tiresome to put up with. Furthermore, my coworkers think it's weird, since I treat my phone like a phone, rather than a faceberg machine. I never brought my phone to high school, since I knew somebody would steal it and/or break it at some point. The thing about the typewriter is, in most people's minds, it's quaint, quirky and calls back to a more cultured age, whereas old mobile phones are just outdated.



Teach her to lift weights so she can beat them up.


File: 224d5dcfa61bef5⋯.mp4 (1.59 MB, 202x360, 101:180, Virtus et Honor.mp4)


>mfw fapping on my woo tablet


First had a Walmart straighttalk for a year, got a Galaxy Note S2 when I got tired of how slow it was and its limited space and tiny screen, a year later it stopped working inexplicably and I wasn't about to buy another $300 POS right as I had decided I was gonna try saving money, so I looked around and got a $22 dumbphone and a $9 SIM card and went from spending $50/mo to $16.70/mo on phone bills and all this shitty little thing is good for is texting, calling, and an MP3 player and that's all I need. Only thing I really miss is browsing the web on the go, but I have a desktop at home so I don't really care, plus only places I go are work, grocery store, and rarely restaurants so I don't fucking care to Google shit up in the Walmart aisle like a sperglord looking up whether or not this tuna's can is BPAA-free or whatever.



This thing:


Oh look the price doubled in the three months since I got it.

In case you're wondering I got on Ting wireless which is pay-for-what-you-use and apparently the minimum is $16.70 (I don't call or text enough to go higher). Shit reception (1-2 bars almost everywhere especially indoors) but I can still call or text just fine. Perfect for frugalfags.

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The quick answer would be, "No. Why would I need them?"

But it is the same answer as to why you should keep matches handy. Or electrical tape. Or clean water in your house.


>Do you have condoms?

If yes or no explain why

>What is your experience with condoms?

10 posts omitted. Click reply to view.



OP here

I would say yes. I fumbled through a few condoms before I could properly put one on

If your "day" ever comes you'll look like an idiot unless she doesn't mind putting it on herself

Although, if your "day" ever came or mine I'd hope you found a woman who is patient and attentive to your virgin needs and understands how you feel and takes it slow for your first time.

I know this may sound dumb but if I ever do have sex I was hoping to have her put the condom on herself. It's like….idk. It's like a mental thing. Or a fetish thing maybe. I want her to do it



I've put on a condom twice. Not for sex but I found em on the street so I got curious. It's pretty straightforward and there's like a 99% chance you won't fuck up. Don't worry.

Your biggest concern I'd say is finding someone to have sex with in the first place.


Condoms are useful for more than just sex. You can use them to carry water in survival situations for instance.


No, I'm not in a relationship and the idea of casual sex disgusts me, so I won't ever be in a situation where I'd need them right now.


I bought a few, used them all to masturbate so I didn't have to clean up a big mess. Never really felt the need to have them anymore.

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