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/v9k/ - Virgin9000

The last place before the void
Winner of the 62rd Attention-Hungry Games
/eris/ - Wherein Is Explained Absolutely Everything Worth Knowing About Absolutely Anything.

November 2018 - 8chan Transparency Report
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File: 523438609bdc584⋯.gif (888.3 KB, 500x387, 500:387, plz.gif)


I may have done this earlier but I clearly remember starting to do this in 4th grade. I remember 4th grade at least because I had a huge crush on this girl named Anna who started growing boobs last year and over the summer they filled out and she was the only girl in our entire grade with full breasts who wore bras that were so tight you could see the straps and color under her school uniform. I can vividly remember staring at her chest the whole class period while our teacher was lecturing.

So starting from 4th grade every Valentine's Day I would create cards. I've always been a "nice" guy and I knew what it was like to not get something on V-Day so I would always count how many girls I had in my class and make that many bags of candy with a hand-written & hand-drawn card inside. Each card was different. It would have a little sweet joke inside that I thought was cute and apparently a lot of girls also thought it was cute.

>Do you know who goes cukoo for cocoa puffs?

>NOT ME! Because I go cukoo for you!

Stuff like that.

I want to add that my parents didn't tell me to do this. They didn't pay for it. I would save up my allowance for weeks and started doing this on my own. I'd ask my Dad to take me to school early on V-Day so I could have the candy bags ready and on the desk of the girls by the time school started. They would all come in and be so surprised. Every single one of them got a present. I was smug sitting in my chair. Knowing all this good karma would eventually come back my way. I would wait for my own card. My own chocolate. My own kiss? . Then class would finish. I'd wait outside the courtyard for my Dad to pick me up. Nothing in hand. No surprises in my backpack. No peck on the cheek. Not even a pat on the back. And the process repeated itself every grade.

5th grade…

6th grade…

7th grade…

8th grade…

9th grade…

10th grade…

11th grade…

12th grade..

Freshman in college…Yes I made V-Day cards for even my fucking lab partners in my college classes. Know what I got all those years of spending my own money on chocolates and candies and paper and artwork tools for my homemade cards?


And now I'm 30. Single. Virgin. Alone.

And I know it shouldn't but when I lay here in bed I just can't understand why nobody ever made me a card. Even a pre-made card that just said, "Thanks" on it. Even if it was signed, "Just Friends" or anything similar. It would have really made my fucking day, nay my whole life, if I had received a special card on that special day and it was intended solely for me.

And now I'm bitter and lonely for experiences I never got to have. And that makes me cry sometimes.


>What are some of your non-experiences that have created a void in your heart that you never got to experience?

>What is your story of pain that still stings years later after the event occurred?


That made me cringe, bigly.

>designing cards for whores

>expecting them to repay you

You deserve everything that happens to you.



my mother did not check whether i had a phimosis so now i have a phimosis


Every year in OP's class

> here's a present for you Stacy!


< and here's one for you Rhonda!



> I would wait for my own card

Listen, fellow kv, it does not make sense.

You belong to the male class. Not your fault. Not your merit. It's the best class IMHO but whatever. You are the expendable one. You are the free one. You are the one who needs to work his ass off to be chosen AND THEN act like the male is the one choosing. You are the one that can better use reason to drive your instincts. Act however you feel like, but your role is this.

If you feel you want to give a gift to every girl because they may not have got one, you cannot say that aloud (it would be condescending bordering on the offensive for some, even if I can appreciate it, I am a man) AND you cannot ask them to read it in your mind. Stalemate. They don't reciprocate? Good. If you need something back IT IS NOT A FUCKING GIFT IT IS A FUCKING CONTRACT.


File: 6f3afdc714f5b9d⋯.jpg (51.92 KB, 512x384, 4:3, Davealbum.jpg)

>Being a supreme gentleman

>He didn't get the hint by high school

Get back in the grave, Elliot


File: 6527ab490040f22⋯.jpg (91.18 KB, 800x450, 16:9, Grape-kun_and_Hululu.jpg)


None of the girls liked you. Life is not a video game in which people will like you or return you the favor if you do nice things to them. And why? I'm guessing it's a combination of you being ugly (I have no idea what you look like, but if you were hot you wouldn't be here), creepy seeing how the only thing you've told us about Anna is that she had big boobs which makes you sound like an obsessed pervert, and maybe desperate for giving candy to every girl in class, every single year.

This is what life is, though. Some guys get all the women, others get none.



>now i have phimosis

Same. I was raised in a very conservative and private and very religious house. My parents never saw me naked after I was a toddler and we never talked about sex or our bodies or growing up or anything like that. I didn't even know the foreskin could/should retract until I was around 13. I was watching a porno and the guy on the screen kept pulling his foreskin back. Shit looked so fucking weird and like it would be super painful so I just assumed he had a pain fetish since I thought my Phimosis was "normal."

Then it puzzled me why he kept doing it and so I did a bit of research and found out I was the weird one. I tried to pull my foreskin back and it would only move a very tiny bit backwards and the pain was excruciating just from that small movement. So I figured

>Welp, if he can do it I should be able to do it too!

So I went into the bathroom and took off all my clothes and proceeded to yank my foreskin all the way back. I don't know how long it was until I woke up but I woke up with blood all over the floor and I was also on the floor. I had assumed I pulled my foreskin back and passed out from the pain. Took about 2 weeks of crying everytime I took a piss and not jerking off the whole time until I was able to feel better so I just assumed I healed. I was too embarrassed to tell my parents something was wrong with me because I didn't want them to hate me for being different or that something was wrong with me.

Now I'm 30 and the Phimosis is still about the same. It isn't difficult to masturbate but it is annoying knowing that I can't fully do the things other men can. At this point I won't even go to a doctor with this shit. Imagine how shameful it would be to tell the doc I'm a 30yo virgin with Phimosis. I'd be a fucking laughingstock. Taking this shit with me to my grave.


File: 3eb609d343b8636⋯.jpg (187.56 KB, 900x1200, 3:4, grape-kun rest in peace.jpg)


I normally don't think things are cute at all, but this penguin was the cutest thing I've ever seen. Rest in peace Grape-kun.



>Some guys get all the women, others get none.

It just hurts so bad when you realize you are part of that second group.



>Some guys get all the women, others get none.

it can be true vice versa too




get your reddit tier trump cockgobbling rhetoric out of here. you clearly dont belong



>Some guys get all the women, others get none.

women tend to share the top 20%.

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