/waifu/ - Waifus / Husbandos

>>488

I have the same problem. The only way I really "handle" it is to block it out, which doesn't always work.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this shit, too.

As another youmufag I don't really let it bother me too much.

She knows plenty of people that can assist in keeping me from dying way before her, or at least elongate my life long enough to come to come to terms with leaving her behind hopefully at least.

If all that fails there's always the option to become a magician.

I will be pretty mad if I fail in every endeavor there since I abhor the thought of her remarrying after my death nor do I like the thought of her being alone all that time.

>>493

I guess I cope the same way. Whenever I start to think of some aspects of her life or death, I'll just kinda snap back once I start to think of something painful.

In general, it's hard to think about her without inadvertently thinking about awful things and crashing into depression, or just outright block her from my thoughts. I'm not sure which though I hate more though…

Change is a part of life. It is sometimes viscerally painful and it often really sucks, but you have to accept it and learn to adapt. Death is but another transformation. I am not ready for it (and hope to not be for a few decades at least), but I will try to embrace it when it comes. Staying in the same form forever would be boring to the point of becoming insufferable, no? Death is simply the ultimate slough of everything you were before - and everything you had. Of course that thought is terrifying to us now, as I believe all of us are under 30 years old, but we likely won't feel that way in 50-60 years (barring unforeseen circumstances that cut our time shorter) as our bodies and minds get older. Most of the old people I've met don't fear death anymore in a major way, or at the very least have accepted it and have made peace with the inevitability (even if they fear leaving their loved ones behind or debilitating diseases that are associated with old age).

He has passed that final transformation and while it would be a lie to say that it doesn't ever hurt, I have recognized its truth and I have found that there is nothing to fear. It's out of my control, there was nothing I could have done to save him, and that's just the way the world works sometimes. It came sooner than deserved, but he accepted it gracefully and was able to let it go. I don't relish in it but, in general, I'm okay with the fact that he's dead. I don't want to join him immediately, either; he wants me to live my life as well as I can, and I want to as well, both for me and for him, to make up for the time he lost.

It's funny because death used to freak me out to the point of having anxiety attacks imagining what it would be like to be dead on a nightly basis, but honestly, I'm not going to be able to do anything about it regardless of what happens so it's useless to worry about. I don't know what will happen to me after I die for sure, but there's likely nothing that I myself can experience in a corporeal form that would make sense to me, right now, living in this body. This is all the more reason that I shouldn't worry about it and just live my life. He showed me that death can be a passage, as well, and that helped me a huge deal. Accepting this was extremely difficult (took years) and I feel for you guys who aren't at this point yet. I can't tell you for sure that it will be okay, but it will probably be okay. We all die, but humans are still around.

>>518

>It hurts knowing that she was just another innocent trampled and forgotten, and no one even batted an eye.

That's not true; you are mourning her, you are remembering her. A person doesn't need to be remembered and honored by many people to be loved; hell, you're probably doing the work of many people yourself. If you're not ready, that's fine, because these things take time and everybody processes it at their own pace (and, honestly, rushing it makes it worse because it leads to frustration, anger, and despair), but I truly think it's possible to find acceptance.

I don't think closure is possible with people that you really love. Obviously, if I had complete closure, I wouldn't be here, because I would have shut the door on any feelings for him after he died and moved on. I can't do that, I love him and I can't - won't - let it go, even if it's the harder choice. I actually wasn't posting much recently because I had a flare-up of anger and sadness that he's dead and that he was murdered that lasted a few days. You can't ever completely get over it, but you can get to a point where it doesn't hurt constantly and the spaces between intense feelings about it grows larger and larger. And it might take time, way more than you'd expect. That's okay.

I'm sorry if this is annoying, because I know that posts like this can come across that way. I just want to help and give another perspective. I understand that this probably won't help much right now (and I deleted a lot of what I wrote before posting this - what you need now is support, not advice, no matter how well intentioned, because your process is yours, not mine), but you don't have to feel so alone. Would talking about it more help?

Regardless, I'm really sorry that you're going through this right now. It's really painful seeing your loved one die. If there's anything I can do, please let me know. I know it's hard but the one piece of advice that I can give to you is please don't repress your grief, because mourning really sped up the process for me and it seems like mourning helps way more than being "strong" or whatever bullshit society makes you think, based on other people I know.

OP here

Since I don't think the purpose of this thread was well understood or something, I'll make an example post (not to discredit the above replies, nice to see that the community is welling to help eachother). basically what I was expecting was an outline.

-her response to your death

-THEN your response to hers (sorry for those of you who's waifu has died, I'd forgotten that you guys exist :C)

-full 2D family response to your death

-your response to any of theirs

and all of this is done with the idea that they're all mortal in some fashion and you won't see eachother after passing

for example:

Assuming the way gensokyo works is true, Youmu probably would be hurt by my passing, but would still be able to visit me relatively easily being half-ghost herself. provided that she and I are both completely mortal though, I feel youmu would probably be the type to go into a long, deep period of mourning. it would probably interfere with her daily life which I would feel terrible about if I could.

Contrastingly, I'd probably be so devastated by losing her I'd probably either fall into a positive feedback loop of self-loathing and despair, followed by a downward uncontrollable spiral of regret drinking and aimless rage.

My daughters would probably have different reactions to my passing. I don't think Cirno would be able to fully comprehend what death means since as a fairy she's immortal, and Neptune would probably have the hardest time with it, but would try to remember the best of me in the ever-cheerful way she normally lives life.

In the event that both of them were mortal, I don't know what I'd do if I lost them. It's easy to say I'd just kill myself, but with Youmu as well I couldn't just leave her like that, especially after losing both of her daughters with me. I think in that event, We'd find a way to move on somehow, but with all 3 of them gone I'd honestly have no will left to live.

>>524

As yet another Youmufag, I don't think she feels the same about death as normal humans do.

Death is constantly all around her. In fact, as a denizen of the Netherworld the living are probably more peculiar to her than the dead.

Her Buddhism further reinforces this.

I think my death wouldn't sadden her (due to her species), but she probably would still miss me in a nostalgic sense.

As >>495 said, there are probably ways to gain immortality in Gensokyo (e.g. the Hourai elixir), but then again, neither Reimu nor Marisa are immortal.

It probably would be easier to stay with Youmu after death, i.e. as a ghost. Who knows, I might even become a half-phantom, if the Yama wills it. From the Yama's perspective a love interest of one of her subordinates is probably something special and the Konpaku family's heir obviously needs some offspring.

As for Youmu's death, I don't think that half-phantoms just cease to exist. At some point they die, but even then they are still subordinates of the Yama and therefore not part of the cycle of reincarnation.

He seems like the type that wouldn't get over it easily and wouldn't be able to forget. He even had a song where he mourned the death of his lover for over a thousand years. I would hope he could learn to cope with it because I wouldn't want him to be sad, but that's up to him how he deals with it.

He's already dead.Sort of.It's complicated. For the sake of answering the question properly, then I'd have to say I wouldn't take it well since I already haven't taken it well.

My death wouldn't impact him in a huge way. On the outside, he'd probably appear as though nothing had happened. On the inside though, I think he'd feel a little confused. He probably wouldn't know what he was feeling, except maybe some regret. I think he'd feel something resembling sadness, but he might not be able to identify the feeling. It was like that with his deceased wife. She died, and though it didn't seem like it effected him much at first, the conflicted feelings he had over her death stuck with him for a long time, long after he had forgotten her face and what her voice sounded like.

His death would definitely hurt me a lot more. He dies more than once in his source material, and I've handled that pretty well since he was the antagonist there, so his death was more or less expected and couldn't be helped. It would be different if I was able to be with him in the flesh, and had to experience him dying and leaving me behind. I don't think I would take it well at all. I don't want to sound dramatic by saying I wouldn't ever get over it, but it would really hurt for a long time and I don't think I would ever be the same.