Thanks so much for this thread! The song Goreshit - Beautiful Loli Thing hit me hard that could easily be my theme song for life.
"If you run around with someone you know you can't have
And it makes you wanna run and cry
Our logical thinking has slipped away
And nothing's the same, no matter how you try
Yet on the outside you keep on smiling
There's no one who'd understand
But deep inside you're falling apart
And there's no one to ask for a helping hand"
truth hurts so good