I am very fortunate to have a friend who knows I am a pedophile and does not judge me for it, with whom I can discuss my situation without fear of negative consequences. This is something that I never expected to have. Surprisingly, I had known her for barely a year before I told her my secret (nobody else knows). Not surprisingly, I don't really trust anyone, for my own safety and also just on principle, but this situation was highly unusual.
My friend is a trans woman who, at the time of our meeting, was not publicly out, and still presented as male. We met while we were both working a job that, aside from the two of us, seemed to exclusively employ the most closed-minded, bigoted, and generally shitty people imaginable. Despite her efforts to stay under the radar, some of the overtly feminine aspects of her personality became apparent to our coworkers, who misinterpreted those traits as signs that she was a gay man, and gave her a ton of shit for it. I had the same misconception that the others did, but not being a petty and hateful bigot like the rest of our coworkers, I befriended her and gave her something of an emotional outlet at work, a person with whom she knew she was safe. We started hanging out outside of work, and soon she confided in me that she was a trans woman.
After many long (and very private) conversations over the course of several months, during which she regularly impressed me with how open-minded and understanding she was regarding people who are treated like crap by the rest of society, I began to think that I might have finally found someone I could trust with the truth about myself. For the first time in my life, coming out to someone seemed like a real possibility, or at least worth considering. I began dropping hints that, like her, there was an aspect of myself that I kept secret because of the way it was viewed by society. Even so, it was another six or seven months before I finally told her – one of the more nerve-wracking experiences of my life – by which point she had more or less figured it out already (though only because I trusted her enough to provide her with plenty of subtle clues, in the interest of testing the waters to see how she might react).
To my tremendous relief, she took it extremely well, and has been very supportive and helpful to me ever since. Unfortunately, she moved far away a few months ago, and I am not comfortable talking to her about it over the phone or the internet, except in terms so oblique that I can’t really communicate much of anything specific. But sometimes even that is enough to help me through a difficult moment.
I wish I could say that I think other people like me could find friends they could trust with a secret like this, people who can be their safety valve and confidant when no other option is available. But from all of my observations of people, my friend is an extreme outlier, and I don’t imagine that many other pedophiles would be able to find someone to whom they can safely come out. Ninety-nine percent of the time, the idea of trusting anyone with a secret like that is a nice thought but a terrible idea.
Still, I wish you all the best of luck.