>>30662
(cont)
>it’s why we survived as a species. And looking at our society, it reflects that, through the media, the social lives, behaviour and values of people. It shows, through us and the world we’ve created.
I may be reading too much into this, but it seems like you've switched from an identity politics based argument, to a nature based one, then back to identity.
>So removing this opportunity, and shielding […]
Good paragraph. Like before though, heavily audience based. You are dragging entire other ideologies in here with you, whether you know it or not, which is unavoidable, even for subjects as "hard" as mathematics, so don't think I'm faulting you here. I'm just telling you. (As weaselly as that sounds of me.)
>Children, from birth, know what they like and what they don’t like; it’s built within us, from day one. Something which many of us are familiar with is the fact that kids are very rarely afraid to let their feelings known, especially when they are experiencing any form of displeasure. The rambunctious, overt nature is what many love or hate about children. But when it comes to sex, we are unable to trust the decision made by the person - we decide for them.
I don't disagree, and while some of that may be debatable, it is pretty soundly reasoned. The only problem is that is sounds very, very… "pedo-y". You may want to consider revising it.
>The reasoning behind this is hard to pinpoint, supported by nebulous phrases such as: “They’re too young,” or “They just can’t consent.”
Still haven't really shown how this is unnecessary, much less nebulous. I recommend coming at this from the angle that they are empty truisms. It's going to be much easier to defend.
>But one criticism I’ve heard of this is that sex is seen […]
That's a whole lot of words to say "I don't believe that sex is an intrinsically negative experience for children" several times in slightly different ways. Butcher "firstly" and "secondly" until it's half that size. If you stand up and read that, it's going to sound like pure autism. That said, the thesis you are making here is a very strong point.
>Thirdly: if sex was inherently like this, then two children having sex with one another should result in two traumatised children. But that doesn’t happen; they experiment, fool around, and they’re fine. The traumatising element must lie in something which differs between child/child relationships and child/adult relationships: social stigma.
That's excellent. It's not only good logically, but it's very good from an emotional aspect as well. If you are feeling bold, you may consider appealing to personal experiences that your audience had as children as well.
>Lastly: it’s pretty much just very condescending and it also completely undermines a child’s humanity. You really don’t need to have a degree in psychology or understand the ins and outs of society to have a relationship.
Kind of a weaker point than your "thirdly", to be honest. I don't think this works very well as a conclusion. Consider switching the two.
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This doesn't sound like a speech, it sounds like a lecture. I recommend reworking almost all of it. Record yourself saying it, and listen to the recording a day later. It's going to sound dry. People are going to have a hard time following something like this, even with the inflammatory topic. Half of what keeps people paying attention is how you say things. And I don't mean the word choice, I literally mean how you choose to stress certain words, the length of pauses between sentences, and stuff like that. Pauses aren't just for dramatic effect, they allow a moment of reflection in the listener. A reader can always glance away and process the sentence, but a listener in a crowd can't ask you to repeat things. Most of your sentences have way too many clauses that are dependent on one another to allow that. I know you aren't going to be reading this verbatim, but let go of the idea that you are going to be able to use such unwieldy and formal language effectively at all.