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Welcome! In /blog/, you can start threads about yourself, your opinions and any interesting anecdotes and everyone will care about it!


0. Global rules

1. Discussion should generally be about something that happened to you or sharing your opinions.

2. No bully*

3. Please spoiler NSFW images

4. Tripcodes are optional, but encouraged so you can update later on.

*Don't unnecessarily flame people or shit up threads. Funposting, joking and criticism are ok.

As of August 2018, this board has been claimed by a new owner.

4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.
Post last edited at


Today I attempted to insert an entire whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out. This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere. I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.

File: 193065c3d4baa2d⋯.png (49.72 KB, 250x275, 10:11, clownworld.png)


I found a suicide partner and we'll be killing ourselves on the 13th of July at 1am or so.

We'll be dying by using the charcoal burning method. I'm might livestream it, but it wouldnt be interesting.

I'm 20 years old, born Britain, my parents are from bangladesh, aka im a shitskin feelsbadman.

I've recorded a note, but I that was over a month ago. I'm going to record another one, but Not sure what else to talk about.

Any ideas?


>killing yourself at age 20

Sorry man but you are a fucking retard.



Why not just try moving to Bangladesh?



You are not a shitskin don't listen to those nordic snowniggers.


Did he died?


Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out. This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere. I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.

File: cb9ad0a4d1169a9⋯.png (63.3 KB, 1461x1031, 1461:1031, Seek not Loli.png)



>Everyone goes on and on and on about how great the economy is and how everyone is hiring. I've found a near 100% correlation between people who say that and people who haven't had to look for a job in at least 20 years.

I tried to stop being a NEET once earlier this year. Got a job as a janitor fairly quickly. Only thing I hated was being called in in the middle of the night becuase other chucklefucks kept not turning up. More money for me though. Circumstance required I leave that job after a short time though. If possible, I'd like to work a relaxed job where my year round allergies wouldn't be an issue. But I know that's not possible.

File: e01f8259bae317f⋯.jpg (723.74 KB, 1080x1347, 360:449, 1548151937687.jpg)


I hope nobody ever gets to know me.

Deep down I'm horrible.

And I'm miserable because I will never be perfect.

And that's pathetic, I know. But it's just that it's apparent to everyone else except me. Or so it's made out to be that way. And it pisses me off.

I'm a monster. I wish I could do terrible things to people. I wish I could be a true demon. I'm horrible. I want nothing but to do the worst things to people, and it's something I can't turn away from. but I will never achieve it and that will drive me mad.

I think about getting so stiff inside of little girls.

Mothers forfeiting their children. Hypnosis. Cuck sex ritual mutilation. Farming for virgins.

5 posts omitted. Click reply to view.


I'm just locked into this life of endless work.

i want to indulge.

not substances. human flesh.

i've indulged too much before.

i've got to get stronger.

i'm working out now.

i'm actually getting attention on the dating apps.

one super hot girl. but she has 2 kids. oh well.


i want to make a bluepill account

something i use for logging into all those reddit self-improvement groups.

i've got to get mentally and physically stronger.

squats are so hard. they start making my heart pump pretty hard.

i can get better though.

i probably wont be going to sleep for another 7 hours. my whole schedule is fucked up.

i gotta focus. i've got to stay focus on programming this thing.

i've got to get it done.

i am also thinking about doing classes online. i think i'd be a good personality for it.

and i definitely know enough now to get attention for it.

people are going to find out i'm a pedo pretty quickly though.

but i'm not really.

shit. i don't think so.

only when i'm feeling evil.

recently the thoughts have subsided a lot. i think it's guilt. i think it's having that public eye on me.

i've always needed that.

most people get that through their social connections. that's what i've been talking about.


just jerked off a guy.

my sexuality is damaged.

i imagined being a little girl.



it's also confirmed that working out will not make your penis size larger

he was smaller than me.

i told him how i had bad thoughts about kids.

for some reason i needed to do that. i guess.

or else i couldn't be that lg


i'm doing this alone.

and i'm so close.

i just need to work a little bit more. literally just a few more weeks and I'll be set.

i finally figured this whole thing out.

i just need to keep myself reminded of that and not get lost in the darkness of my past relationship. and these child porn charges.

it's within reach.

i can get everything cleared and I can start a new life over again. and i can be happy.

i can live selfishly;. i'll never be committed again unless she's better in every single way physically.

even then she's probably just using me.

so .. never commit

File: b4fe3c9a0f4828d⋯.jpeg (112.62 KB, 450x357, 150:119, ayy el lmao.jpeg)


Just bought two giant frozen burritos labeled "The Bomb" from a gas station. Wish me luck, /blog/.

21 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.



Don Miguel presents:

King of The Sheckel



This thread is fucking glorious



File: 4635f4b32dde219⋯.jpg (1.04 MB, 1920x1080, 16:9, talk about extremely painf….jpg)


OP here, my IP might have changed since making the first post.

Actually, nothing happened the first time I did this. Then I did it the next day. And the next. The day after that they ran out of Bombs so I bought some similar burritos from another brand. I think it was El Monterey. It was that day that I ended up taking massive, spicy, liquid shits on and off for like four hours. It was actually extremely painful, and I ended up frantically tearing off my pants so I could slavsquat on the toilet seat in the hopes that I'd get it all out more efficiently. And when I got up to get more toilet paper, little drops of liquid shit would drip out of my asscrack onto the floor. Did I mention just how spicy this shit was? It was kind of chocolate milk if chocolate milk was made out of ghost peppers.

Anyway, I went on buying giant frozen burritos every day for like a week after that and then I felt like I was coming down with AIDS so I stopped. Good times.

File: c952ea51071529c⋯.jpeg (74.93 KB, 600x400, 3:2, 061E8ABB-7549-4628-9A34-9….jpeg)


I’ve recently become a faggot. A real sad faggot at that. A girl I got really close to dumped me and got together with one of my closest friends. Me and this guy had many hours spent together on tf2 servers with 170 ping and csgo comp getting railed by smurfs. Those were good times and yet for some reason I can’t remember it ever being particularly fun. I laughed, I guess. Maybe that’s why I enjoyed it? Not sitting around doing nothing? Regardless, I moved on, sort of, and life was normal once again. Went into school and became friends with a great big bunch of people all of whom have now somehow gone in every direction opposite from each other besides one or two. I’m talking about 25-30 people here, mind you. Again, I felt that weird sadness. I can’t really describe it but it is what it is. I played lots of vidya to forget about it and I did. However, eventually tf2 got bumfuck boring and csgo was just a cesspool of “edshot machine” wannabes, hackers, and the same strats used every time but with slight variations.

One of my friends that ended up floatin away was an Overwatch player. He’d regularly reach top 500 NA every season or so and encouraged me to play it. My goal was to get good enough to become his equal and perhaps surpass him in the process. Finally, I felt happy again. A purpose in life that would require actual effort. After a month or two in I was frustrated. I just couldn’t get past a certain rank. No matter how well I played, how smartly I played or even what strats I used. i just couldn’t get past that elusive skill rating. To make things worse, the one reason I wanted to get better at the game, my friend, moved on. He went onto play a moba or some shit like that. Once more I had that weird sadness. I guess you’d call it melancholy. It’s just so fucking frustrating. Every time something goes my way it just yeets, 180s, and fucking leaves for a pack of cigarettes from the 7-11, never to return. I don’t fucking get it and for the first time ever, I’m more sad than angry. Would that make me one of those extroverts that absolutely requires validation when they achieve their personal goals? Perhaps. But I wasn’t playing Overwatch to receive praise from the guy, I simply wanted to beat him. In any video game that I played there’d always be a peak level of players and skill. I’d get good enough to impress the average joe or a newcomer but that’s about it. Never would I get past that level whPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

File: 82a241ac759584b⋯.jpg (10.49 KB, 250x250, 1:1, tranquility-slimline-dispo….jpg)


My mom went out of town today. Now I am thickly padded with crinkley plastic adult diapers and baby powder, and am lying in bed all cosy. Feels good man.

File: 481c7bbe5bcf73e⋯.png (33.2 KB, 800x610, 80:61, blogimg.png)


A common observation I notice on 8chan is that people pretend to have the perspective of an oldfag, or a general quality perspective and try using it to assert their opinions on the direction the board has gone over time. Such as the board has gone to shit.

Or that there's hearsay and rumor of another board's quality, and try to persuade or disuade others from going there.

Well, for once, I'm going to start writing down my perspective of things to at least supplement my POV with evidence, and it may or may not be counterexample to whatever narrative a random anon tries to run about an 8chan board. It's still a POV rather than an all-encompassing experience, but at least I evidence mine references.

12 posts and 8 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.





>high time of GamerGate

>GitHub takes down GamerGate repo under false claims of doxing and harassment from SJWs

>Github employee even starts doxing some GamerGate Twitterfags

>fastforward a few years later

>Microsoft buys GitHub

>everyone on /tech/ flips their shit

>fastforward to present time

>newfag OP asks if GitHub is a free speech zone

>Xbox Live even announces its not a free speech zone

/tech/ has really gone to a special kind of shit.



>*pill me on

>pepe image

>basic question

<I can't think or research for myself so tell me…


>doesn't even understand the conditions of GPL license

Wish 4chan would fuck off.



Are you trying to come across as a woman because I can't read this with anything but a woman's voice



If I ran a board, I would just filter "redpill me" to "spoonfeed me".


>be me

>/b/ mod

>April of the current year

>find out that two namefags live closeish to each other (Seruki and TableROU)

>they hook up

>Seruki gets pregnant

>they decide they want to come visit me before they have a kid

>mfw they follow through

>mfw im currently staying with them until the 10th

>mfw they buy me 5 polished ceramic eggs as a gift

It's currently 11:17AM and we are going to spend the rest of the day in Denver. I've put one of the eggs up my ass and intend to see how long I can wait until I shit it out and give it to one of them on public transport.

Pic moderately related: I put an egg up my ass a long time ago on /b/, Seruki and Table both were present during this incident.

1 post omitted. Click reply to view.


Dear god it was stuck the entire day. My ass is currently a river of blood, but I got it out (barely). I was trying for hours to shit it out, but it was stuck deep in there. I seem to have made it 12 hours though, in hindsight I should have done it with a raw egg and saw if it cooked.


File: 8a3d4364a6d3d45⋯.jpeg (323.22 KB, 1112x2208, 139:276, D0A5DF67-8412-4DBF-B059-B….jpeg)



And now you're touching it with your hands. /b/ literally is cancer.




File: a4929973b6e1525⋯.png (148.08 KB, 379x379, 1:1, mokou_fag_card.png)

/b/ deserved to die and /b2/ can suck my microdick

File: ae6b50e1d37c4a6⋯.gif (6.46 KB, 446x361, 446:361, you choking on a million d….gif)


Dear /blog/

Today I sucked 10 cocks.

This is less than I usually get.

How can I improve? Post tips on how to be the gayest faggot you can.

File: a193da84a0d951d⋯.jpg (55.74 KB, 540x960, 9:16, FB_IMG_1543177233350.jpg)

File: 6de73e9609b3d6b⋯.jpg (46.17 KB, 540x720, 3:4, FB_IMG_1543177228242.jpg)




Whatever happened with that old hag who called the cops on this guy? I only know about this from ricecooker jim's stream.



corinne. she has a kiwifarms thread

File: 0020812c37a804c⋯.png (217.82 KB, 2000x1813, 2000:1813, R1Fa4CKQRHuRixtYaiHn_2000p….png)


I am a 5'1" male, if you could even call me a man. I realize now that I have a steep uphill battle to fight with in the rest of the world, but I'm considering not fighting it and just relaxing in the shade at the bottom of the hill. The truth of the matter is that I will be less likely to get a job (I do have one despite this) get paid less, I'll be less likely to be promoted, viewed as less intelligent, and not sufficient to be as a leader. honestly as I type this out I care less and less about it. somethings must die and my name will just be another in an endless lust of people who didn't matter. I have to learn to deal with that. That and the crippling loneliness, but again none of my struggles matter. I will never be important and I have to accept that. The last thing I did not mention on my list of disadvantages is that I will disregarded by the opposite sex just because if my height.

All of this just because of something that is 60 to 80 percent genetic the rest being nutrition, but that is my mother's fault for being a dumb bitch his brought three kids in this world she couldn't take care of.



Hey OP, I'll give you some schadenfreude at my own expense.

I am 6'4". Not ugly, with a deep and clear voice, and only somewhat overweight. I mean, you won't notice my gut if I'm wearing a shirt. I have never had a girlfriend, or a close friend of any sort. I have never had a successful job interview either, and have therefore had to join the military to get gainful employment. Navy. I'm a smart guy. I test well, and was given a technical rating. I learned my job easily, because I understand most technology intuitively. Graduated my apprenticeship school at the top of my class. However, from the instant I joined, people have treated me like a retard. They look at me funny, like I'm a walking pile of shit. They explain things over and over again to me like they're talking to a child. If there's a job within my specialty that needs doing, and I'm the only one in my specialty available, leadership is more likely to ask someone of a different specialty to handle it than me. If there's leadership that needs doing, I'm frequently placed under someone of a junior rank to me. I get treated like I'm lazy even though I log more maintenance hours than everyone else I work with combined. I don't know why I get treated this way. I confronted my immediate supervisor about it once, and he apologized, but gave me no reasoning and ultimately continued treating me the same way.

Anyway, at least you can hide behind your height and claim that if you were taller you'd be doing better in life, it's not like anyone can prove you wrong. Imagine if you were like me, a guy who won the genetic lottery and still gets shat on no matter what he does. It stands to reason that if it's nothing in my appearance than it's something in my behavior, which makes it completely and entirely my own fault, even though I seem incapable of determining what exactly I'm doing wrong.


>If you're short you're shit

>If you're tall your shit

dr. seuss life lessons in this motherfucker



>and he apologized, but gave me no reasoning and ultimately continued treating me the same way.

It's not you, I would interrogate this issue and document it.

File: 29b6c98136dab1f⋯.jpg (214.95 KB, 870x1390, 87:139, feeling-the-full-effects-o….jpg)


God fucking dammit. We're probably having another goddamn girl. My wife is a major fucking cunt. and while I can deal with her, and my two daughters are somewhat reasonable, even though they're nowhere near the cuntifying hormonal years yet.

All I fucking need is more goddamn estrogen around me. I'm probably gonna an hero. I can't stand these bitches already and another one on the way is just all I fucking need. We're going again in another month to make sure because the doctor wasn't sure. If it turns out this is another little mini cunt, somebody just come and fucking kill me

1 post omitted. Click reply to view.


File: 9fdd81cf3ae19d3⋯.png (268.62 KB, 847x445, 847:445, 15723a67cc02b50edd2103912f….png)


I hope you had a good suicide!


Whoever knew a dad could be a bigger whiny bitch than his wife and daughters.



don't let another man fuck the mother of your children with your kids around.

especially if they're girls

men like that dominance.


daughters are fine because you can fuck and impregnate them too


Have you tried screaming at your dick? The sex of a baby is determined by the sperm and clearly its desires are fucking you over.

File: ca8dc9f312e1560⋯.jpg (7.97 KB, 212x238, 106:119, yuri.jpg)


I want to kill myself but unironically. I wish there was some way I could do it without my family knowing but I realize that it would actually benefit them in the long run and initiate some much needed change in all of their lives, maybe for the worse at first but for the best in the end. I'm 20 but I really don't feel like seeing what's in it for me, I don't want to go on and I hardly have the energy or dignity to get up out of bed during the day and do much of anything besides watch anime or something. I don't know how I got to this point but I know I've felt this way for as far back as I can remember. I don't want to take any goddamn medication, I've read far too much on the permanent detrimental effects that could transpire, then again one could argue that if I want to kill myself then what's the harm anyway, but I still don't want to take them. My mom is sending me to another country where I have wealthy family with major connections to hopefully try to start again somewhere new, eventually go to college there and whatnot, but nothing has worked out so far and I'm dreading it just another massive disappointment. I'm going to try and expect nothing but I can't help but hope, I think it's in my nature. I've always had big dreams.


File: 913157400c4fc23⋯.jpg (102.2 KB, 537x694, 537:694, i'm good.jpg)

If you're not going to use the money, can I have it?


File: d07d00ac8ccab88⋯.jpg (1.03 MB, 2920x4096, 365:512, woaha.jpg)

Well lads I've decided that if this thing with college in another country doesn't work out I'm enlisting in the army, my absolute last resort. My grandpa was a war hero and I figure I'll try to follow in his footsteps. Hope you're all doing well



Which country do you live in?

File: a2e77c6d8c59f62⋯.png (294.4 KB, 399x585, 133:195, chester's life is out of c….png)


About three months ago, I was at Church. I wasn't really paying attention to the liturgy, I was just sort of thinking. Regrettably, I do this sometimes. I was raised a Catholic, I was taught the order of the Mass in a classroom setting, and on the vast majority of the Sundays of my life, I've gone to Church. I've thoroughly memorized the actions, the words, the prayers, and most of the common hymns, so it can all be kind of mindless to me if I'm not careful.

What I was thinking about was the nature of individuality, especially as it relates to my own life. I recognize radical individualism as the source of most of the world's problems today. People say, "Well why should the Church tell me I can't suck dicks? I'm not hurting anyone, am I?" People say, "Well why should these racists tell me I can't fuck niggers? I'm not hurting anyone, am I?" These people reject the notion that they could ever have any responsibilities to any social unit higher than the individual, so they do whatever they want, completely heedless of the damage they're causing to society. I'm not saying Chinese hive-mind collectivism is the answer here, I'm just saying that individualism has gotten out of hand. People take it to radical extremes.

Yet, despite my realization of this, I'm something of a radical individual myself. I go to work and barely talk to anyone, I go to the store and avoid people's eyes, and at the end of every Mass I speed-walk out of the Church without a word to anyone. Not even to the priest, who is always waiting outside the door to shake your hand and talk to you if you want him to. At the end of every day, I come to nothing. I come home to nobody. I barely even call my parents anymore. I don't talk to my siblings at all outside of Christmas. I can't remember the last time I looked at someone I somewhat knew and decided I'd like to be better friends with that person. I can't remember the last time I looked at a woman and decided I'd like to get to know her. If I forget to talk to myself, I'll go so long without speaking that my lips feel stuck together. Even on 8chan, I feel like there's something about my posts that makes them stick out. Like I don't fit in with all the other Anonymouses somehow. As though, despite the fact that I've spent the better part of the past decade on imageboards, there's still something abouPost too long. Click here to view the full text.



You're just a retard with social anxiety.



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