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/cuteboys/ - Boypussy

Dicks and butts
Winner of the 80rd Attention-Hungry Games
/otter/ - Otter For Your Soul

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File: 1453882730072.jpeg (49.92 KB, 249x501, 83:167, Sad.jpeg)

 No.241126

Lots of anons post about how they're feeling sad or how they don't have a boyfriend. So you can post about that kind of stuff here if you want! You should also try to cheer everyone in this thread up. That'd be nice.

Post last edited at

 No.406872

File: 73157a4baa8fa8a⋯.jpg (318.25 KB, 1400x1400, 1:1, thisisnotfine.jpg)

>>406866

I honestly doubt it. But one can hope. It is not an easy thing to explain especially when he ghosts you, certainly not after how tremendously it went wrong. It's fucking annoying when people don't take problems and mental health issues seriously.

>>406869

Yeah it gets difficult when you talk to people from other cultures. The thing is I just really don't give a damn, it's too hard to figure out all those little "hints" or whatever in a conversation. It's easy when somebody just tells me what they want.


 No.406874

Hey gang

Posting in sad thread because I'm battling my emotions hard these past years with multiple mental issues that deprive me from real life. That's life though, right?

More a man's a man.

Shoot myself? Jk jk. How's talk secret gang? Relief some silence and pain? It's my duty.


 No.406875

>>406874

Yeah that's life. Just been listening to a band that incidentally shares the name of the boy I want. It is almost frightening how much the lyrics fit the current situation.


 No.406876

>>406875

Tell me about the pain.


 No.406878

File: a194fac325ba2cf⋯.jpg (104.94 KB, 636x900, 53:75, 42c154ae9e59030bb43341db40….jpg)

>>406851

Ah I do it on my thighs, I don't want people to see it tbh, especially not my parents.

He doesn't talk with me anymore so he can't stop me and I know he doesn't give two shits if I do it.

Could probably die and life would go on for him as usual.

That's a pretty neat bracelet though, I love bracelets myself!


 No.406881

>>406876

There is no need, when I feel down I just go to take a nap. Actually napping a lot recently. But I feel better afterwards.

It's nice when you wake up and remember everything you did before you went to sleep. Strangely, even when I got completely wasted on alcololomahol only, ofc, never got a complete blackout.

All I can say is, the pain is real.

>>406878

That's not a nice thing to say about somebody anon. I know I'd give at least five shits if I found out my ex? ex-friend? ex-boyfriend? I'm really not sure. It was … complicated. was doing that to himself.

I do not understand why people always think they can determine how much a person cares about them even though there are external influences that can alter their perception of that person.


 No.406896

File: 1694d59e070fbd7⋯.png (5.79 MB, 1446x2046, 241:341, d2642941b5fd627d3434fb3ee8….png)

>>406881

Wish I'd get some sort of confirmation of that, he doesn't even have to talk I'd appreciate if he unmuted the server so I could say good night to him.

I just don't think he cares, which I hate thinking because I know he does, he wants me to improve.

I'm just so confused.


 No.406911

File: a1e787742bb807f⋯.jpg (116.53 KB, 2500x960, 125:48, memories_gondola.jpg)

>>406896

You are not the only one confused. Man, two years of friendship down the train because of a drunken night and a home-wrecking manipulative whore.

I'd drive like six hours just to see him (and bring him beer), yet he thinks I don't care. Sure, the times were not good and shit happened, but throwing something away like that? Feelsbadman.jpg

That reminds me, I gotta drive to the next town and give a letter to the homewreckers parents because it was not the first time he got into a fight drunk and threatened to "get somebody stabbed" or tried to bully somebody. This terror has to end, for me and everybody else he has hurt.

Not wanting to get mixed up in other peoples lives, but I'll be damned, they have a right to know what has been going on behind their backs (and it's better to do it this way than beating him up which would only make things worse).

I think it's stupid really, to say somebody doesn't care and simultaneously take any chance from them to show they do. If I didn't care, I wouldn't have been honest with him. It felt shit, telling him what happened, but I'm no liar.

I just want my friend back. I miss him every fucking day. I try to get over him, but I cannot. I'd visit him, but I can't do that without knowing that he would want that.

You'll just have to hope for the best and see things through I guess. Maybe he just forgot about the server.


 No.406912

>>406813

>Are you the boy who was hurt by the guy in Geelong?

Nawe, dats me and I don't post or lurk here regularly at all since it's too painful coming back. Also, I guess he wasn't technically in Geelong, just technically a bit past that way and I had to go through there to see him. I can't really get on V-lines anymore without having panic attacks tbh, lol.


 No.406924

File: d8566bb7abca73f⋯.jpg (228.27 KB, 1024x1446, 512:723, bdf722a3085cd4ecb15595766f….jpg)

>>406911

>>406911

It was all my fault this happened, didn't have any outside forces interfering.

Kinda cool that hes in the same country though, I can't say that.

Oof I don't know what to say, I'm not the best for advice.

You're a good person for doing that though.

I also want my friend back. Or do I go back to total isolation again who knows.

He muted it, told me in our last conversation we had.


 No.406926

>>406912

v-lines aren't that great anyway, but it sucks that it gives you that much anxiety. I get sad every morning when i hear the long distance train heading to Sydney go past why does he have to honk as he goes past my house


 No.406929

>>406924

Juuh, it was not funny at all what he was doing…and he seems to have a serious alcohol problem. I wouldn't really interfere if my friend wouldn't have gotten hurt in the process, but I can't stand the fact that that boy thinks he can do shit like this and get away with it. He hurt me, and more importantly my friend, by what he was doing - and that I really can't stand. Really felt powerless about that, but since I figured out where he lives and how to contact his parents, I can at least do something to prevent it from happening again to others.

Letter is written and will be on it's way soon. A waste of good money on such a person, but I do what I have to do.

I don't even know if I'm gonna stay here in this country, I like it a lot, but what sense is there to stay if my friend doesn't even like me anymore? I'll just finish my studies and see what happens, it's a shame really - if none of that would have happened I'd be on my merry way cuddling a qtboy into submission every night.

Maybe someday my friend will see me again for who I am, even with all that happened.


 No.406985

File: 59d66ab563341ca⋯.jpg (356.24 KB, 640x950, 64:95, 7a9daf8d256b0ff2871556cdbf….jpg)

>>406929

Well, wish you the best with your situation, I don't know what I'd do in your place.

Oh? Where would you go then? Come to America!

Just kidding

I'm starting to think things would be better off if I never confessed to him.

Hopefully.

And I hope you are reading this, you're still the nicest person I know


 No.407015

File: 5ca4c49594aa82a⋯.jpg (6.15 KB, 300x168, 25:14, bittersweetpepe.jpg)

>>406985

Not gonna go to America for more than a visit. Been there already. They lied to me about how great of a country it is, did not feel nice learning the opposite when growing up.

I honestly don't know what to do either, but I can try. I really, really liked that boy and then I got into a shit situation and ended up hurting him against my will. I don't know if he's still lurking on here, I suspect he is, but sometimes I hope he isn't considering how mental I went after that.

But if toady is on here, I'm really sorry on how things turned out. You know, I wanted to visit, but it's just not possible when you have to take care of yourself first and are going through that kind of crap. I just hope I didn't do anything too bad during that unwilling intoxication…btw I'm not leaving for summer so there still is a possibility :-) … and yeah I know it's stupid especially after I said that this kinda crap won't happen to me. I have been taught otherwise :/.

I really don't want to ask too much of him, but I hope he'll understand some day that I do care about him more than he thinks I does.

And I hope that other boys parents get that shit with their son sorted out, if I was that boys father I would want to know what kind of crap he's up to so I could do something about it.

> tfw your life starts feeling like one of those overly dramatic reality tv shows.


 No.407021

>>406985

Running away to somewhere far away seems like what i might end up doing, just moving far enough away that ill never see anyone who knows me and i can start again. america always seemed like a decent enough place to start over in. but then again it seems like it has plenty of downsides like everywhere else.

>>407015

I guess one of the hardest things to get used to is having that special someone who never really knows or believes how much they mean to you or how much you care for them. I hope you can sort things out with him soon and he realizes how much you care


 No.407030

>>407021

Yeah, but honestly sending off that letter made me feel a lot better. At least I know that I'm not completely powerless in the situation.

Maybe some day he will realize. Until then I'll just have to carry on with my normal day to day life.


 No.407040

File: 4257a8bf433d0d8⋯.jpg (75.23 KB, 460x798, 230:399, 1456117856696.jpg)

>>407015

Aw it's not that bad, at least here in the northern states. Fuck the south tbh.

Guess I what I can do is wait it out.

But on happy news, tomorrow is my birthday!

Don't think he uses this board, anymore at least. I'm not sure I think he mentioned it once.

But god damn are czech people the nicest.

Let's hope for the best!


 No.407046

Deleted my post, I was probably being too drammatic. Basically I have been in contact with a very shy cd for a short time and she still hasn't responded, got me worried I said something wrong.

Dating a cd who may or may not have a secret past of escorting wouldn't be a huge mistake right? His fetishes are a little out there and Im not sure im dom enough to satisfy them fully,


 No.407066

File: 8178580e59dfb47⋯.png (420.62 KB, 501x504, 167:168, 1556747652656.png)

Damm, not even cuties like me


 No.407092

>>407046

mods pls delet this I was being silly and clingy and I hope she don't read this.


 No.407193

>>241126

Tja. Been doing better recently, but honestly I'm still not over that boy. And it's been half a year almost. Been working on something he'd really enjoy … it'll be a surprise for him when it hits the shelves, but hopefully a welcome one.

I hope he'll man up at some point and just talk to me. I did my part, I did as much I could under the circumstances. If he had been serious about love and relationships and all he would've considered my circumstances as well instead of expecting a shit-ton of things from me and just getting rid of me the first chance he got. But yeah, apparently I was the one leading him on. In that time I knew him, he never ONCE came to visit me, but then expected me to move to his place. I know it's a shit ass boring town, but hey I'm here and apparently he never thought that would be enough of a reason to come here. So it's difficult for me to believe he ever was serious about wanting a relationship or loving me in the first place if he doesn't even consider taking that four hour travel upon him to see me.

Welp, no way to find out what he truly thought about me unless he stops being so sore about things and just talks to me. It's not like I've repeatedly given him the chance to do so.

I guess he really was just playing with my feelings after all and my dumb brain still loves him despite that :-/


 No.407317

Oh okay he's back to being cold to me.

I wish I understood what's happening.

Was feeling so good yesterday.


 No.407355

>>407193

I hope he talks to you some time soon and doesn't keep you waiting much longer. If the surprise you're talking of is that beer I'm sure he will welcome the surprise, i cant think of many people who have had something like that made for them. I remember home-brewing beer with the boy i love

Once it is released you should let us know, I'd love to try something that has as much love and thought put into it as you must have invested in creating it.


 No.407403

Won't even accept a good night from me okay, so he hates me now, is that the deal?

You hate me for being an emotional burden I understand that, I'm sorry I can't help it.

I honestly don't know what the fuck to do now.

I'm so scared.


 No.407417

>>407403

ahahaha you are a joke of a person

please seek help


 No.407418

>>407355

I cannot do so out of regards to my and his privacy, sadly. He will know though when he see's the label (and yes it is a beer, ironic somewhat, but it's just something I'm damn good at and like doing) :^)

Other than that, the letter was received. That boy was freaking out man. Threatened also to go to police and suborn perjury. So first he threatens to get me stabbed (a big factor in why I did not visit the boy I love as I was at the time not certain who the fuck was harassing me on the train), now he threatens to falsify testament.

Literally the only reasons I wrote that letter to his parents is

1. To make it certain to him that he can't just go around treating people like shit and threatening them without expecting consequences

2. To inform his parents of the misconduct (as I would want to be informed if I had a child that does these kind of things).

Talked to me and the sense of entitlement is just aggravating, but whatever. If he does go through with it I will give my statement and simply tell them the truth, there's multiple others he had threatened and messed with before and they'd be happy to do so as well. I doubt he will though.

The good thing is I know now that he doesn't remember anything of what he did while drunk, and that he does not have contact to my love. And that's gonna stay that way.

It's honestly childish (aside from the drink spiking incident THAT was criminal but I'm just happy nothing worse happened - wasn't that guy however as he does not posses the intelligence to do so).

It would be nice to cuddle a sweet rupikonna though, I could really use that right now

>>407403

Ach my friend, he probably doesn't hate you. Life is complicated like that, I could sing you a song about that.

Thing is, if the boy I love tried to message me on the application we used back then it won't be possible as I don't have access to it anymore. Sometimes there are circumstances you cannot see but they aren't as bad as you think they are.

Although if it is >>407417 then he might just not want to talk to you and tbh if it is him, good riddance.


 No.407421

>>407417

Don't need you telling me that

>>407418

Well I've calmed down a notch, still fuckin confused though.

And no the person I like is not that UK anon, too rude to be him.


 No.407422

>>407421

Well then I hope all the best to you and that you get it figured out. Believe me, you're not the only one confused around here, if that gives you any solace :D


 No.407423

>>407422

Yah true. All you cunts are fucked tbh


 No.407453

>>407421

Ignore >>407417 they are just being a salty cunt

>>407423

Just because you're angry at me doesn't mean you should go and be mean to other people.

If you want to yell at me or get even some how i haven't blocked you and the server invite will works, i'm in there most of the time waiting for u.


 No.407509

File: e23a52463003d67⋯.jpg (102.33 KB, 720x960, 3:4, handsome_pepe.jpg)

>>407423

>>407453

Tbh I'm not even sure that was meant as an insult. Australians use such words a lot and most of the situations are fucked, as he states correctly.

But then again, yeah the situations are fucked, but what can you do?

I've done what I had to, what I felt was righteous so now I'll move on and continue with my school work and forget about the damn issue - and hope some day my friend speaks to me again (I don't know if he will just because I make some nice brew in his memory, but you never know … my life has been pretty weird so far. Well at least interesting enough that people have told me they're looking forward to my autobiography - which makes me come to the conclusion: a boring, uneventful life is a good life).

And if he does I'll finally get him to where he wanted to be, instead of going crazy and chickening out…and take him to all the nice places…and give him my assorted collection of frog memes, it's a habit I got into because of him and now I've got all these pepes and apus on my pc without knowing what to do with them


 No.407530

>>407509

Maybe they don't mean it like that but there aren't many Australians on this board anymore and i know he comes to this thread to check on me every now and then even if you refuse to admit it smh

I hope he does talk to you after he see's it on the shelves and you two and work things out.

You can share your pepe's and apus here, i used to change the captions to cute things and send them to the boy i love but now they just pile up in the discord sever the two of us used to share.


 No.407596

>>407530

I guess it's not easy to forgive sometimes. But I liked him a lot and I want him back (at least as a friend) - it's just that I don't have any idea how.

Going to his place might be a bit weird after losing contact for so long. Contacting him otherwise is not possible.

I wish he'd just do the first step and send me a message or call me.

At least I got all the other crap sorted out, or so I think (and really hope so because this has been difficult enough already).

Well at least I have a lot of time on my hands now and can focus on enhancing the procedures at my workplace (which, in turn, will make what I'm doing for him more tasty - I want it to be perfect, nothing less).

And somebody from my family is visiting me so I'll be in his town next month, I hope I might be running in to him but that's unlikely.

Feels good to be back to normal. Feels really good.


 No.407682

>boy I like started being lewd with some anon right infront of me

Well I feel like absolute shit right now, fuck that anon he's getting all personal with him what the fuck. Now they exchanged emails so fuck me I guess. He wanted to hide that fact from me.


 No.407713

i never wanted a lot. if i could trade my life for a single expression, a single hug, any indication that someone ever cared about me because they wanted to and not because they had to, i would. why does life have to be so thoroughly unpleasant.


 No.407734

>>407713

I'd give you a hug if i could anon, don.t be sad and i.m not sure why life has to be so unpleasant, but i know it cant last forever, so don.t let it get you down


 No.407787

>>407682

Big Oof. How do you even hide that if you do it in front of somebody? It makes no sense.

>>407713

Then I shall ask you, anon, without any expectation behind the question: what do YOU want to do in life?

>>407734

This, life is like a pattern of a Zebra, with black stripes and white stripes. You might be in the black stripe now, but the white stripes will also come. That's at least how a Russian dude explained it to me.


 No.407800

File: cf38d4a1fb756c5⋯.jpg (57.71 KB, 500x614, 250:307, cf38d4a1fb756c5e52e61ab944….jpg)

>Another birthday alone and still a KHHV

Just four more years until I can finally pick my magic class.


 No.407842

File: c886fb732b7d671⋯.jpg (41.89 KB, 500x307, 500:307, c886fb732b7d671f02ef58cb97….jpg)

>>407800

KHVV?

I just got most of the things i gifted him back in the mail and the stuff i left at his house, broke down and cried for a few hours then got drunk. even if he ever decided to come back i don't think i would be in any state to be his friend. i just feel dead inside.


 No.407847

File: 62db56dc3e64093⋯.png (955.52 KB, 3184x2998, 1592:1499, gondola.png)

>>407787

Literally on a board we both use. Right infront of me some anon making really personal scenarios about sex and my guy was okay with it.

Said it's not personal and it's just fun, okay then I believe you…

His plan to hide it was to exchange emails and then delete the posts so I would not be able to see them.


 No.407927

anyone else dead inside and planning on an heroing if shit dont change real soon like? how do you lads cope with bad feelings and the crippling loneliness?

also would apreciate any traffic my site gets: http://www.comfy.chat/


 No.407929


 No.407994

File: b2fd73ec0910194⋯.jpg (1.51 MB, 4032x3024, 4:3, imago.jpg)

Please add me on discord , they operated on my hand after it had a blood build. Now it's gotten sick and most likely infected. I'm not supposed to see a doctor until tomorrow , though I'd like some comfort , it won't stop hurting and kinda looks diseased , I've also got a massive pain in my stomach. The wound also will bleed occasionally , (the pictures are before the wound got infected) anyways thank you and have marvelous day

(sorry if i typed poorly btw typing with two hands will just make it more infected i just wanna distract from it)

Classical_NAT/AM#6376


 No.407996

>>407994

Try talking to some of the friends you have.

Oh wait you drove them all away with constant drama and your victim complex.


 No.408074

File: 24458ac21d4f48d⋯.jpg (150.47 KB, 797x957, 797:957, regretful_frog.jpg)

>>407847

> His plan to hide it was to exchange emails and then delete the posts so I would not be able to see them

Sheesh. Wow that is retarded beyond words, my condolences. And that comes from somebody who almost fugged another dude and told his crush of the time the truth and went temporarily crazy afterwards. It would have been possible to hide it looking back but as my home countries people say "Lies have short legs"…still felt bad sending myself to the gallows…went like shit and haven't talked to him in about half a year or so but what can I do? At least he accepted the stuff I sent as an apology and didn't send it back. Well he knows I regret it and that I'd like to talk to him again but ultimately it's his decision to make.

But you know, people get horny and there's a difference between lust and love, hoping all the best for you. From what I hear from coworkers and friends and stuff (since I'm back out of that slump and talk to people again) it isn't much better elsewhere. Everybody has some kind of relationship problems.

From "I love this girl and she loves me but I don't want to ruin her current relationship" to "my wife doesn't do lewds with me anymore" (yeah most people in this backwater town are str8) to "my former gf got married, divorced and now lives with me (after seven years or so)" to "I want children but all the men around me don't". I don't get why they tell me all this except that I just listen to whatever they say and forget it afterwards.

There is hope anon, there is hope. The good thing about being at the absolute bottom of the pit is that it can only go upwards, stay positive my friend :^)


 No.408099

>>407927

I took a job again. Finally. Saving money again. Saving money again so I can have my choice of fentanyl or a shotgun next time I try to end it. "Try" - I fucked it up last time, so this worries me. A lot.

I pretend to feel things, it only gets harder. Death is all I want. People around me are strange - liking things is weird. I never wanted to live this long, nor did I need to. I'm eager to leave these twats behind, and I hope others will join me.

Coping is for fags. I mean, I do it, I guess… but it doesn't last. Like to bother with music or art or whatever hobby bullshit I actually have engaged in still takes extra effort. And I can do drugs or whatever, but that's not doing anything nice the rest of the time.

Have some sex, though. Do that if you want. That can be nice.


 No.408174

>>408099

Sex is just as much of a drug as heroin


 No.408192

File: 8c2eb13d9042dfd⋯.jpg (32 KB, 428x500, 107:125, born to feel.jpg)

How do you cope with the fact that you're never going to be cute?

Even if I'd get my body in shape my face is too masculine, so I'd just look like one of those abominations you find at pride parades.


 No.408201

>>408192

I am lucky to have decent face for that.

I would say.. there are other things to enjoy in life besides sex or being cute.

Even still, you can still have woman or cuteboy in life if you want somebody cute in your life. Some cuteboys like me also like masculine look on men. So no need to fret over not being cute enough. Though, cuteboys are better coz they have real dick and you could get one to give you dicking.


 No.408246

>>408192

work with what youve got, find a compromise that works with your best assets and compliments your features. you might not be fem, but you could still be a certain flavour of handsome if youve the features for it. you might not have the mostly straight dudes looking to plough you so much but youll still be able to pull off the twunk look i reckon.


 No.408262

File: 3465a1e41ea3ab3⋯.png (45.25 KB, 226x183, 226:183, nom.png)

How do I stop myself from self-harming? I don't like it.


 No.408305

File: c7ac75b91c34fa4⋯.png (376.01 KB, 751x423, 751:423, VinlandMonk.PNG)

My bf broke up with me a year ago for a reason that still haunts me, but in retrospect was probably him trying to let me down gently. It's been almost under a year since he cut communication with me entirely. We had a conversation before completely cutting ties with each other, but I wasn't there fully, I was still reeling from the break-up and I regret not saying a lot of thing I should've said, but I'm not good at all with expressing my emotions so when the time came my mind became flooded with things I wanted to say but if I tried to type out what I wanted it would've been an absolute mess and barely comprehensible. Instead I chose to pick the words that I thought would hurt him the least. I should say before continuing that he managed to find another bf on top of telling me he fucked that exact same person only roughly 1 month after the break-up. He was also bragging about how the people in his Discord would go for a fling if they ever passed by where he lived. This obviously angered/greatly depressed me, and being the little faggot that I was I didn't voice my concerns and instead chose to curl up into a ball and started to disassociate. I told him that the break-up was OK and we didn't have too much in common anyways and there are plenty of fish in the sea and generic normalfaggot date talk to make it look like I was ok. After that he removed me and I haven't heard from him since. What followed was a deep depression that lasted for an entire year, making me fail two semesters of college and turning me towards social isolation.

Although I was hardly the victim in this case and it's the root cause of my depression to this day. After the break-up we stayed in contact for awhile and I took a week to mull over my thoughts and try to beat the depression, nothing came of this. After roughly two weeks he asked me to take him back and he was sorry, I was party confused angry and depressed and so I rejected him and placed the barrier between us even higher. I would ignore him at times when I didn't feel like talking and I would pretend I was busy with something or make up something to avoid confrontation. I always tried my best to help him whenever he was feeling depressed but I didn't really know how to comfort somebody whose suffering so at best my attempts at comforting would be inadequate and at worst it would be harmful. I never once dared to share my suffering with him though, because I was terrified of what he would think about me on top of me thinking that introducing my suffering to him would invalidate his suffering as now he had to worry about my issues and I didn't want to have him worry more than he already was. Now though I understand that was probably the single dumbest thing I could've done, since it created an emotional gap between us and probably made him feel like an outcast thus worsening his depression. I can only pray he wasn't doing what I was doing sometimes and hiding it because of how much I must've alienated him. The times where I didn't comfort him enough is whats really dogging me, lord knows how fucked up and unloved I made him feel because of it. I feel as if I'm overreacting a bit, but the way how I see it is that the moment I say my shitiness was justified because I didn't know any better or because of autism is the moment I start sliding down the slope towards no longer having a conscious and becoming an absolute horrid human being, or being far worse than I was before. And thus I'm too scared to meet others as the memories of me being a terrible person or highly autistic keep me down. I should also mention the things that I did before weren't exclusive to the post-breakup, it was like that pretty much during the whole relationship and I constantly blame myself for making things worse than it already was.

I turned 20 a few months ago and my life feels like it's over as school and work start to pile on and my years of being at that young age to find a wholesome relationship are coming to a close. I never got the chance for a college bf because I was at work constantly and was forced into online classes. I never had a chance to meet up with somebody who I could feel relaxed around and talk about whatever while we shared music and did stupid shit because of how my depression worsened my social anxiety. I wouldn't feel as miserable if I didn't fuck up my schooling and push everybody away so I suppose this is my fault for not being strong enough.

I desperately want to say sorry to him and see how he's doing and possibly reconnect, but it's been so long that I bet he hardly thinks of me now. And if I tried to contact him I would end up surfacing too many painful memories making a bad situation worse.

This blog could've been better but I always feel everywhere when thinking about this kind of thing.


 No.408332

>>408305

certain things youve mentioned in there make me think i might know your bf from somewhere. someone i know had a not dissimilar breakup in not dissimilar circumstances, though i know nothing of his bf. i do know he never meant to hurt the guy though, i dont think he has it in him to want to hurt someone like that.


 No.408334

>>408305

also, as for not finding a wholesome relationship, fucking nonsense, dont tell yourself that sort of daft shite. i met my man when i was nearing 21 and he was 25 and now were engaged. first man i ever dated, third man i ever slept with, and its been 5 years since then. dont tie yourself to absurd ideals utterly divorced from the realities of life, sometimes it takes a while to find that right person.


 No.408336

>>408305

You sound just like me in the way you dealt with that, maybe we're both autistic. Nothing is over by the time you are 20 btw. I had never even hung out with a non-work/school/relative friend until recently at 22. I graduated college but did nothing, I would have been much better off starting working earlier as my manual labor job has pushed me into lots of positive changes.

There is a huge amount of time you could have to take it easy for a while and work on yourself before getting with anybody. Working sucks, but the fact that you are able to hold down a job is a good thing. Just be frugal and save up as much as you can.

Don't be upset about your ex, it doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. I think anyone would say you were right for rejecting his attempts at getting back together after he bragged about having sex when you were still hung up on him. It would be much worse if you took him back in, losing your dignity and telling him that is an okay thing to do.


 No.408341

>>408336

When is it over though? It has to be over at some age right?


 No.408343

>>408341

>When is it over though?

when you drop dead or give up

is this you, US anon?


 No.408345

>>408341

>>408343

i dunno if you wanna talk to me about it or not given what i wrote, but im not from this place youre talking about. i just cant say i enjoyed reading that, and i certainly dont take any fucking pleasure in seeing you in that state. ive gotta go to bed soon for work but if you do wanna talk fam feel free to reply and ill chat, if theres anything i can say to you that would do you any good at all id like to man.


 No.408357

I am>>408341

>>408343

No I'm not anon, sorry.


 No.408362

>>408357

aah, my mistake


 No.408367

How do i get over him? no matter what i try i cant get over the fact that he is spending another weekend with another guy and i'll never get to hold him close again

I don't know where to post without him seeing or who to talk to.


 No.408370

I found out it's impossible for me to not lose weight in this new place I'm moving to, I'm so happy even if I'll be constantly sweating even when I'm not busy and finding a guy will be even harder. Even if it's just for me, I miss being lean.


 No.408376

>>408370

could just go on a diet and do some exercise, anon. Its generally not that hard to.


 No.408395

File: 12a49c725f5be73⋯.png (352.37 KB, 823x424, 823:424, vinnyvinmonk.PNG)

>>408332

You might've known him. He spent his time browsing 8chan and a lot of time in Discord talking to people on different servers and he was pretty open about the break-up and how he went about it from what I can remember. I don't think he wanted to hurt me, he wanted to try and let me down as gently as possible. But that's whats causing my depression. He was extraordinarily kind, and I see that the things that I did, or rather didn't do, made him hurt in ways I couldn't see. This was compounded by how his depression started to spiral months after the break-up to the point where he was on antidepressants and seeing a psychologist. I couldn't help him as much as I wanted since I was still curled up in my ball and dissociating. But isn't that also what horrible people do too? Constantly make excuses for their terrible behavior?

We where both each others first in most things and we met while I was around 17, and this naturally carries weight with it. But all I really care to know about is if he's doing ok and if I didn't hurt him as much as I think I did

I'm probably being a hopeless romantic but I can't stop the heartache

>>408334

I still have faith in my future

I've been working out and doing things to improve my body and looks

But it all feels so pointless at times and I need to force myself to continue my routine

Whats the point of having a relationship if you can't reliably have your lover there with you to help you through the worst times. Nothing makes me more depressed than seeing loveless relationships barely being held together by a thin rope held by one of the lovers in a vain hope it might all get better. And i'm afraid I would become the person who starts the loveless relationship

>>408336

It most likely was autism honestly. I was never happy as a kid so I turned to bottling up most of my feelings in order to function in the real world. It reached a point where when somebody mentioned anything at all about being sad/miserable I would either laugh it off or start to feel really uncomfortable and keep my jaw shut.

I've gotten better about it though in the past few years, but I wish I knew how back when we knew each other.


 No.408405

>>408395

i take it his name includes a "J"?

when it comes to mental health stuff i cant offer you much help, im lucky enough to be fairly normal in that regard besides some small issues with anger.

the only advice i can give you there is to accept that in some ways you fucked up, and that theres no undoing that. the best you can do for him if you no longer talk to him is to make sure you never do that to anyone else. mind, im not the type to forgive myself for a fuckup easily either.

>But all I really care to know about is if he's doing ok and if I didn't hurt him as much as I think I did

do you have any means of contacting the dude? i dunno if you actually want to, but if we are thinking of the same guy then i can let him know you wanna talk for you.

>Whats the point of having a relationship if you can't reliably have your lover there with you to help you through the worst times

im gonna give you a tip fam, drop the entire idea of LDR. they dont work, not without being cemented IRL first for a prolonged period and having frequent meetups. me and my bf did a bit of LDR at one point, but i made a point of moving in with him 2 years into it when that was viable.

as for that last bit, the only thing i can say there is be patient. the right man might not come to you immediately and there might be things that get in the way. ive been through some rough times with my bf, ive been up and down dramatically on the scales when shit got rough irl for me, which of course has all fucking manner of knock on effects in the relationship, and weve spent a year on the dole together unable to find work. you can work through tough times together, but only if youve got that strong fucking connection built, and you genuinely care about each other enough to see the hard times through, even if its one sided.

honestly, youre really young. when i was 20 i thought i had a good chance of being a permavirgin. time changes people though, and if you work at your faults in earnest you will grow as a person.


 No.408406

>>408395

also, on the autism thing, i really do wanna emphasize that that shit will go with time. i was on a whole other level of autism as a teen, but over the years i learned how to function like an actual normal human once i pried my head from way up my fucking arse and started with the honest self-reflection. im not the chattiest dude, but i can hold a conversation and not make a mongoloid of myself for the most part.


 No.408457

>>408395

Ach anon. I'll say I outright disagree with >>408336 here. Sure, going around bragging how he fugged another dude not much later is not OK. But the assumption here is that he doesn't know that. That's an assumption and it will not be verified or debunked unless talked to.

Two things. First you say he is a kind person. If he is, and what he's done was due to some other shit, that quality won't change. He probably knows what he has done was wrong. He probably feels bad about it too. Peoples lives go up and down.

Second, my friend of a few years has blocked me out completely (since pretty much seven months now), not much different from what you did to that boy.

Of course that hurts. Especially when it's either somebody you care about, somebody who helped you out greatly in times of need, or both. You don't just "forget" somebody like that after a year. You keep them alive in your memory and hope the best for them, even if you have no chance of talking to them. The other thing is, even though I don't see much of a chance of being together with him again it did help me realize a few things and "come back to myself". So even though I'm a bit annoyed at it, I'm not angry about it.

But! Nothing would make me happier than a text or call from him. He doesn't know how happy he made me. Or how his presence in my life made it easier to me to fall asleep (something I've had trouble with since a young age) night for night. If he means so much to you…it warrants at least a try.

The decision is up to you. Here's the thing: The boy I like blocked me out so I will not contact him, as that would be disrespectful. If you blocked somebody out and want them back, it's your responsibility to make the first move. There's few possibilities here. In the best case you get it sorted out, both of you figure out their past mistakes and you end up back together. The second best is, even though you don't end up together, you remain friends and can help each other to move on. If he's as kind as you say, it would be the logical thing to do. In the worst case, he was never as kind as you thought. You will never know until you try. Sure it is scary, but what in life is not?

>>408341

When you're in the grave. I've seen 70+ yo get together.


 No.408506

>>408099

lord knows, i just want to be happy, and feel close to someone. as much as I hate to admit it, I really am the kind of nigga to drift from one relationship to another, or at least long after relationships.

As much as things would never have worked out, just wish my bf was still around; we're on good terms again but its just different, and i dont think it's a good idea for either of us to date one another regardless. All I know to do is hobbyshit and cope.

>>408395

can i ask your name anon? you sound decent enough if you're at least reflecting on the bad shit that happened in the past and are aware of where things went wrong at least.


 No.408513

File: 7d6118efd5f66f5⋯.png (577.34 KB, 1920x1080, 16:9, sad loli.png)

I'm tired of feeling afraid , I'm tired feeling lost and unwanted by everyone I've ever met. I'm tired of my family never understanding the suffering that my life has been due to the ignorance of others. Though most of all , I'm tired dealing ling with the fear their will never be a future for me. A Feeling I've felt for a long time now , which now has slowly brought me to my knees with each passing day.

I'm sorry mom and dad , I've also learned that you probably don't care at this point. Your deeply affected by some desire for me too move on in life yet , when I've only seen you treat me more and more as if I'm something that can't be taken seriously.

You've always offered help and support to my brother yet you haven't shown any to me ever since I've left school due to abuse from my special education Teachers which you claim was my fault forcing me too leave. Even when bringing up how awful it was their with conditions you normally still say , "You could have tried harder". You often feel I'm simply still disabled to you which means that getting a Job is a idea too you even though I'm an adult. Both of you have no idea how angry I am at you , all I've ever wanted is a job. I just want to feel like I'm accomplishing or at the very least you want something from me.

I'm tired of feeling angry and upset , I just wanna sleep now


 No.408519

>>408376

I've been fit before, hence "I MISS being lean" and I don't appreciate the thoughtless response.


 No.408522

>>408519

just saying fam, you could do it now if you were so inclined. dont let the place youre in get in the way of your goals if you really want em.


 No.408523

Usually I try to be optimistic about it but sometimes it gets to me and I really just need to vent and cry about it for a little bit. I fucking hate how no matter what I do it feels like I can't regulate my eating even when doing diets, even when regularly exercising. All my life I've had a gluttonous attitude towards food and I don't know how to change my view on it. To add to that I could have a nice body but I keep fucking picking my skin and all my wounds and it's starting to leave noticeable marks and I keep getting away from a pretty body I could love. I was getting up to a high point at one point where I liked my body, I was losing fat, I took care of myself and now that high fell again and everything is fucked. I don't know how to fix myself physically or mentally and it's frustrating that I have to be stuck in this body.


 No.408524

>>408523

thats shite. ime anger is a fucking fantastic motivator. if something gets you livid, take it out on a bicycle or your running shoes. tell yourself you will sit there and fucking suffer until you like it when it comes to hunger. you dont need to eat, youve got plenty of calories stored up and you need to suck it up and quit being a little bitch. thats how i broke myself of those habits. try going 12 hours without eating a thing, you can do it easy if you have the will.


 No.408525

>>408524

I lost an unimaginable amount of weight through starving myself but then after I finished that I started stuffing myself again. Everyone I talked to agreed that it's unhealthy af and that I should eat regularly to not get cravings. I know starving myself works, but everyone IRL tells me I shouldn't do it.


 No.408527

>>408525

starving yourself isnt smart, but if you eat at least 1000 kcal a day thats perfectly fine. just make sure you dont try to do anything strenuous on an empty stomach and you get a healthy amount of protein and micronutrient rich foods not long before you sleep, itll improve the quality of your sleep if you do.

cravings are a bitch, but you need to embrace the diet as normality from now on. you cant simply eat as you please and stay healthy, its a permanent lifestyle change.


 No.408528

>>408527

thank u


 No.408599

File: 519fd05699ca994⋯.jpg (379.82 KB, 1100x1000, 11:10, felix argyle.jpg)

The last slut I had…I scared away because I got blackout drunk and told them I was going to drive to their house and rape them "like they wanted to be raped." I was only kidding, but they blocked me and I never got to meet them even though I know where they live. Ah well. The extremely feminine boy was at least better than the basic bitch girl that was made of nothing but lies. I hope she lies and cheats on someone even worse than me and ends up having her head cut off and sent to her fucking piece of shit family in a sealed up lunch box…but only after she is tortured for days.

pic only semi-related because I was too mean to him and it never got to that point. ;_;


 No.408601

>>408599

jesus you sound like a mentally unstable person and horrible to be around


 No.408602

>>408599

youve got fucking issues mate, i hope nobody is ever unlucky enough to be with you


 No.408606

File: 2b7c8d41284c6c4⋯.jpg (46.86 KB, 500x500, 1:1, quattro.jpg)

>>408602

>>408601

Hey now I'm not that terrible. I am a really nice guy to nice people who take the time to get to know me and the like. I might indulge in the drink a lot, but it's really quite unfair to tell me I'm unstable or horrible to be around. You have no idea what that girl did and why she deserves to be a highlight video for liveleak after having her face flayed off. You'd understand if you knew the details. Hahahaha. Don't take things so fucking seriously cunts. It's just for fun right? I thought you lot were supposed to be sympathetic after somebody loses a /cuteboy/ to unfortunate circumstances.


 No.408607

>>408606

m8 I guess you've got your own issues with people but this is the greatest amount of concentrated yikes I've seen in the past few months

cool it for reals


 No.408609

>>408607

>Concentrated yikes

The North East US was a mistake for making that word up. Relax broski.


 No.408610

>>408609

>yikes

jeez, christ, wow, that kind of sucking in air noise that people do when they stub their toe, jeepers, etc.

I can use any alternative

the lesson here is, always remember to be nice to people you want to fug


 No.408613

>>408606

im sympathetic to people who deserve sympathy. youre a piece of shit, and you deserve to be alone because of it.


 No.408615

>>408610

Sometimes nice sometimes not. It depends on how you like it.

>>408613

Who deserves sympathy in your mind? You don't sound like a very kind person yourself.


 No.408620

>>408262

Samefagging to bump my question. I know I used a shitposty image with this post, but I was being completely serious. I don't have the money for a shrink and you guys have helped me through a lot over the years.


 No.408623

>>408620

Maybe give some more details about yourself and your situation? People self harm for different reasons…


 No.408624

>>408623

Currently it's a form of release from a very stressful situation. Without giving way too much personal info, I'm having problems getting a job and I'm having a lot of family trouble. The city I live in doesn't have many open positions for somebody who doesn't have a degree and has never held a job before.


 No.408629

>>408599

You gotta understand that most people here are autismo and don't understand sarcasm.

But then again I don't know exactly what you said. If you say creepy things that like that, even drunk. Then you should expect the backlash. Maybe cut down on drinking.


 No.408630

>>408629

>>408599

Oh and apologise as well. I'd be creeped out for a few days and keep my doors locked


 No.408631

>>408615

the poor sods who were burdened with your advances. blind kindness isnt a virtue.


 No.408632

>>408624

>>408620

Isolate yourself, take a dissociative like DXM (otc cough medicine), wear earplugs, and meditate while introspecting upon the self. To dissociate is to allow dissolution of internal issues if it is done actively, not out of or in a state of trauma. Focus on your breathing and heartrate and bring it down at your own will, then get excited about something you honestly enjoy or remember enjoying…then when your heartrate goes up; bring it down again.

>>408629

>>408630

It's just a litmus test for me. If he didn't get that after all the times we talked (VoIP) (photos taken and shared at our most tired and disheveled etc.) Just a fluke tbqh. It's not like he talked about those fantasies or anything. In any case I'm getting to old for that non-sense and would rather just quit screwing around and have a kid already. I wish artificial wombs were a thing.


 No.408633

>>408631

I'd love to practice my Spanish with you cabron.


 No.408639

>>408632

Yeah sorta sounds like he over reacted then. If you voice chatted and shared pictures he should know a lot about what kind of person you are. Autists do have a hard time at reading people. But after that, they should at least have an understanding. I still think you should apologise anyway (if you can).

>I wish artificial wombs were a thing

iktf


 No.408640

>>408624

How old are you? If you don't mind me asking


 No.408641

>>408632

Would any of that actually work?

>>408640

22


 No.408644

>>408641

If school isn't a choice, you obviously need to first prioritize getting a sustainable living situation. I think you know that.

But then what?

You gotta find joy in your life man. It's the only way.

To me, there's nothing more joyous than taking a walk outside, enjoying nature, and listening to music. If you have to spend an entire day walking, or listening to music, then so be it. If you're feeling worthless, obsess yourself in a hobby. You may not have money, but you also don't have student loans. Remember that.

But if you really don't have a job, then you must have some free time. And time truly is the stuff life is made of. You gotta find a meaningful use of it.

Out of curiosity, do you at least have good friends to talk to?


 No.408647

>>408644

>To me, there's nothing more joyous than taking a walk outside, enjoying nature, and listening to music. If you have to spend an entire day walking, or listening to music, then so be it.

Taking a walk outside everyday isn't the safest thing where I live.

>Out of curiosity, do you at least have good friends to talk to?

no


 No.408653

>>408639

I've never had a relationship with a /cuteboy/ or a tranner/trap/etc if you will. He would have been the first one, but I don't forgive anybody and I don't apologize either (I also don't play that gender spectrum bullshit) ((He wanted me to treat him like a girl the whole time, so I did)). Meaning the boy I hold in my arms is always going to be a boy, but he'll be so feminine that he'll be lusted after at bars and school kek.

>artificial wombs

I teach him how to be Mountain Man and Scholar in Arctic Forest!

>>408641

I wouldn't suggest it unless it worked in my own personal experience for my own rage issues.

>>408647

Where do you live and what do you really want right now? Somebody to make you feel something special…or something materialistic? Neither choice is necessarily wrong.


 No.408655

>>408651

Half the reason I'm posting here is because I'm not comfortable going non-anon. I'm so sorry, please don't take it personally.

>I just don't want you to cut yourself.

It'd not exactly cutting I do, I load up my socks with rocks and coins then lash my back until I get bruised and sometimes bloody. It's not as dangerous (or so I thought) and it's trivial to hide. I tried cutting once, the pain is too sharp.

It's hard to explain, I like how it hurts, it's a very deep throbbing pain. I like the aching in the following days. I didn't intend this to be regular, however, I ended up really enjoying it. But it also scares me, after a few months of doing this I realized that it was not only probably doing even more damage than cutting would do, but I was actually self-harming. For months I thought of it as "just some weird thing" I did, it suddenly hit me what I was really doing.

It's already taken its toll, it hurts to carry things, it hurts to bend over, it hurts to sleep on my back. I'm not letting my body have a chance to heal, I could be damaging my bones or even my lungs.

I'm sorry if this sounds really stupid to some of you and you feel like I'm wasting your time, but I'm seriously worried I've become psychologically addicted to this. Night after night I keep telling myself I'll stop, but then the stress starts up and I can't sleep or relax.

>>408653

>what do you really want right now? Somebody to make you feel something special…or something materialistic? Neither choice is necessarily wrong.

I don't know, I don't think I want anyone or any materialistic objects. I want a job and I want my family matters to cease.


 No.408657

>>408655

>I like how it hurts, it's a very deep throbbing pain. I like the aching in the following days. I didn't intend this to be regular, however, I ended up really enjoying it

jfc go to a psychiatrist you're legit mentally ill


 No.408658

File: 03847445efc73f7⋯.jpg (10.71 KB, 318x313, 318:313, 2fddzr.jpg)

>>408657

I HAVE NO MONEY


 No.408659

>>408655

Yeah ok so basically what you have is a shit ton of stress, stress that you can't directly remove from your life. Thus, youre forced to deal with it, and self-harm is the easy option.

Basically, you have two options: either expend initial effort to figure out a stress outlet that's healthy, or continue your questionably safe self-harm.

Ive recommended finding a person to talk to, taking walks, music, but you say you can't. I still really really really recommend that you reach out to someone online, or irl, cause having someone to talk to can be so helpful. And loneliness will only compound your stress. But I guess you have your reasons for staying anonymous.

Some more ideas include playing vidya, jacking off all the time, screaming. Maybe just losing yourself in your thoughts, deep reflection.

But the point here is that it's not just about not harming yourself, it's about replacing that harm with another release of stress. Cause no matter what, the stress will never go away. It'll keep coming back.


 No.408661

>>408659

>Ive recommended finding a person to talk to,

I'd love to talk to my parents about this, but my mother is an emotional wreck and my father is emotionally distant. Neither would help and the rest of my family either doesn't know me or doesn't care about me (in a neutral way, not in a bad way).

>Some more ideas include playing vidya, jacking off all the time, screaming.

I already do two out of those three things. While I'd love to scream, I think the police would be called.

>Maybe just losing yourself in your thoughts, deep reflection.

I do this a lot as well, but it always leads to existentialism.

>Cause no matter what, the stress will never go away. It'll keep coming back.

This I disagree with, if I can get a job I'd be 80% less stressed, but there's no path for me here. It's like the system has been built to keep people like me out of the job market.

I've never dabbled much in suicidal ideation, but I feel like I'll end up going that way if things continue. I wouldn't want to keep living like this.


 No.408662

>>408655

Oh a troll. Well lashing and beating yourself in a Jacobin Frenzy is pretty old school, but I really doubt anyone honestly does that physically any longer. By cool my dude.

>>408659

You've never screamed at the top of your lungs, while playing vidya, ejaculating into a feminine cuteboy, and drinking alcohol at the same time? Da fuq bruh?


 No.408663

>>408661

Nah, you don't want a job. Working for a piece of human excrement that pays you a low wage to mill about in an office or storefront environment does nothing real for the economy nor yourself. All labor and effort are ripped apart by dogs that call themselves capitalist or communist, then piecemealed back to you like processed chicken. If you want success, well you aren't anywhere near being the type of sociopathic or well-connected cunt that can reach it eh? You want to fucking go to a shitbox of a college and build up student loans like a good goy right? Go do that then, get fucking evil and gud, withdraw from society, or go be a good automaton like the rest of them. Obviously that's what it sounds like you want.


 No.408664

>>408663

Stop giving advice you're not helping anyone hun


 No.408665

>>408662

tbh I don't think it's a good idea to call somebody who claims to self-harm a troll, at best you're right in a meaningless victory and at worst you're wrong and make them feel diminished and invalidated


 No.408667

>>408664

My advice is given in absolutes, not tentative think. I doubt you could help dear anon any better than I. Besides, you don't know enough to tell me to fuck off yea cunt?

>>408665

Eh? I don't want a victory for any reason when I am just telling it what for. Besides they are just going to sulk and bitch on discord or some other place even if I was directly spot-on.


 No.408669

>>408667

Never said I could do better. But you are making his situation worse.


 No.408671

>>408661

Yeah what I meant to say was that you're gonna be stressed until you find a job/some security. And in that time you gotta find a different way to deal with your stress.

Regardless though, you don't know how long it'll be that you're jobless. You don't know if that job is itself going to be stressful.

Ultimately you really can't just tell yourself that it's just a "temporary solution" because you're always going to go through tough times and sometimes it'll be out of your control, like it is now.

I still think that you could find a way to talk to other people online. I mean, what do you really have to lose? Even if you're deathly afraid of your country finding out what you do or something, mightn't you get a cheap VPN (you must be able to pay for at least that if you can afford food) and take the slightest risk? You don't even have to tell people much of anything about your life.

For the love of God, man, you can't even feel safe taking a walk! Do you live in a warzone? Even if it really is your life on the line - is it really better to live a life completely alone and afraid? Totally isolated? A life of self harm?

Maybe it is your goal to move out of whatever shithole you're in right now. Maybe you can't say that for some reason. If that's the case, focus all your energy and time in that goal of getting the fuck out. Whenever you wanna self harm, vividly picture your future. Think about the people you will meet, the happiness you have. If, through all that, self-inflicted pain is the only option for stress relief, then fucking do something less dangerous. I'm not gonna tell you how to mutilate yourself, but it can't take much creativity to figure out something better.

There's clearly nothing more for me to say here. I respect your feelings, I wish you the best, and I've offered you what I can. Best of luck my friend.


 No.408674

>>408655

If you don't have money to buy VPN. The good free VPNs i know are "Softether VPN" and VPN that had been recently added to "Opera" web browser.


 No.408790

>>408674

> good free VPNs i


 No.408878

>>408876

fucking sperg lmao


 No.408881

File: fa3ea3177bdec1c⋯.png (580.68 KB, 625x626, 625:626, bait 25.png)

>>408876


 No.408883

>>408876

take me instead pls i am neet cuteboy and i will take care of the place and i am not leftist at all


 No.408894

>>408876

Fuck off already, you retarded pol/shits/.

Nobody is falling for that.


 No.408906

>>408901

>Nobody is going to love a leftist ever.

watch me, faggot.


 No.408910

>>408901

Do you ever stop to think about where are you in life? You are "raiding" board for boys who like to be cute. This is how you are doing political activism? By arguing with yourself on board you don't like? What a keyboard warrior. A hero.

Just do yourself a favor and stop, just stop. Rethink your life. Find some actual happiness instead of pledging yourself to some shitty cause where individuals always get thrown under the bus. Live some life while you can, you never know when its gonna suddenly end.


 No.408914

File: d35a1f9a98bbdd2⋯.gif (5.93 MB, 500x332, 125:83, maki2.gif)

>>408901

>>408876


 No.408921

File: d01f7d433a039c9⋯.jpg (17.11 KB, 400x400, 1:1, CyS8CUQXgAAGfTG.jpg)

I think the reason I'm a transfag camgirl and like to post slut pics is because I didn't have a father figure and I never ever got praised for anything in my life and was always bullied at school.

Even my artfag career never amounted to anything and I never ever got a real job, not even at the local supermarket :(

I mean, don't get me wrong, I enjoy being a camgirl, photography is really fun, but I wish people would've been more nicer to me.


 No.408922

>>408921

basically, I was so desperate for admiration, validation and kindness I became a slut


 No.408931

File: 07f883320ab0fcf⋯.jpg (266.86 KB, 1080x1010, 108:101, the crowd.jpg)

>>408901

>>408925

On another note, how are you gonna be a stoic while drinking a lot?

At least go full /sig/ or something and become pic related mate


 No.408957

File: 440ebb8ba96d1c3⋯.jpg (194.71 KB, 460x1691, 460:1691, relationship_problems_the_….jpg)

Can anybody even take the Dutch flag seriously? Some serious sense of grandiosity there. "My advice is absolute", yeah right…already "the last slut I had"…smh. Looks more like some /pol/tard trying to get people to suicide or some shit like that. More self-righteous and holier than the pope…

>>408641

It is generally a very bad idea to take drugs, and even more so to take stuff like DXM when you're not feeling at peace with yourself. In some cases it might help, in others it might make things worse. A bit like Russian Roulette if you will.

>>408655

You should try not to. Sounds like you're trying to punish yourself for something. Learn that it was not your fault. It's not your fault that you've been born into this world. It's not your fault you're currently in this situation. Reflect and think about it. Look at your options. Place you live in seems to suck. Would be a good starting point. Maybe you can convince your parents that studying abroad in a better country would be good for you. Anyways, get the fucking heck out of there somehow. Work towards the future where you're enjoying more freedom. And for the love of god, if you have to absolutely do it, use a belt (leather end) on your buttocks. >>408671 has some legit advice. Try exercising. Like Pushups, Crunches, Burpees. Not only will it wear you out, you'll also get a nice body by doing so. Remind yourself, you are who you are, you're doing your best, you've come this far…and that's OK.

>>408674

If it's legal in your country, use TOR.

>>408395

Tbh, the more I think about your post, the more admirable you are. Your ex seems to have at least tried to be a better person. At least he was honest about it. I mean…what would be better? Him fugging around behind your back never telling you, basically lying to you? He told you because he felt guilty. I can tell you that from first hand experience. He felt guilty (and maybe ashamed) because he ended up hurting somebody who meant something to him.

You don't necessarily have to tell him it was an OK thing to do, even if you take him back. You're reflecting on your actions, he very probably on his (considering he's visiting a therapist). I don't know though, maybe he didn't know you were still hung up on him. If he was honest with you about his … transgression … what does that say about him?

Also sometimes you have to just acknowledge the fact that the person you're dating is very, very, very, very, veeeerrrry stupid at times. It's a fact of life and everybody has their moments. I know I have mine.

Pic relates, the boy I used to be with was entirely able to annoy the hell out of me by saying stuff like "I want you to come visit me but I want it to be a surprise" - while I had no way of knowing if he was home.

Sometimes I hope he'd at least consider coming to a certain venue I attend as a worker/helper every year. It would be a pleasant, "random", encounter and a welcome surprise for sure and not at all hard for him to find out considering he knows where I work. Sometimes, you have to give your luck a little push like that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wI60jMIDQ0U


 No.409032

How do you even find cutebois?


 No.409048

>>409032

Most people on here seem to find them via dating services or discord/email correspondence.


 No.409097

>>409048

This. The map was also good when it used to be not shit.


 No.409101

>>409097

Hmmmmm in my opinion it was better when there weren't rude Finnish cunts on it because they were too busy passing out drunk in the sauna and dying. Oh wait. I am sorry. You are one of those things. My bad. It's really so funny that you talk shit about my flag you little fuck, when you are just a dirty laplander hybrid.


 No.409110

I talked and met up with a guy online and had a great time but he just stopped all communication to me out of the blue. There's nothing I can do because it would be really weird to show up to his house uninvited to talk about it and I can't see anything I did wrong to scare him away. He is still posting on his blog and liking photos of local dudes so maybe it was a one-time thing for him. It must be something personal to him because I have gotten no indications from him that I did anything wrong and the last thing I asked him before he ghosted me was just asking how he was doing and I got no reply even though he read the message.


 No.409113

>>409110

Show me your body and face so that we can see if you can be someone's slut or perhaps you have the melted face and obesity?


 No.409123

>>409110

Some people don't really need a reason to ghost, it's kinda like their nature to never want to form long lasting attachments. You will be thinking of him a lot but he rarely thinks about you.

I'm not trying to be an asshole and pour salt into the wound, I've went through that. I'm saying that you should move on too, just try to search your happiness elsewhere.


 No.409125

>>409123

What do our mesti friends know about relationship besides to backstab?


 No.409126

>>409113

lol no im too shy to share my photo with strangers for now. I am like 165 lbs skinnnyfat, but my face is handsome I think


 No.409130

>>409126

I am not strange like these other sick lambs. You must show me your goods and I shall reply with kind fortune. You are like a real fuckboi, yes? You want to have your boyfriend who leave you make you his woman I mean.


 No.409137

>>409135

ignore him, pewds. he just wants to have bants and let his autism flow.


 No.409139

I was too chicken, deleted the pics after yall got a glimpse.


 No.409140

>>409135

You seem alright. Are you a virgin perhaps?

>>409137

Fake english are always afraid.


 No.409141

>>409140

Not technically a virgin cuz I slept with a prostitute, but basically a virgin in terms of real women yeah


 No.409143

>>409141

Plz no bully english man who looks like female slag prostitute. Why are you on gayboy board then if you want to be making fuck a woman?


 No.409145

I am primarily interested in finding a dude for a relationship


 No.409146

>>409145

>>409143

Meant to link. I am on the gay board because I am bi. I can't deny it nay more I even kissed the guy that I mentioned before


 No.409203

>>409140

tell that to the germans crossing the trenches in WW1


 No.409283

How do you guys deal with being ignored by the person you love? i think he is just confused but being ignored is driving me crazy, i just want to hear his voice again :(


 No.409289

Dear C,

I love you,I really do.It hurts to hear you say how you can't be with me because you're incapable of loving someone else and how you don't think you deserve me but know that I'm more hurt by the fact that you would talk to other people normally.I know I am a clingy piece of shit and I know that I am too fucking pathetic to ever block you out of my life.I hate the fact that you only ignore me.If you hate me that much just say so,I want a proper rejection.I miss those days when we would idly talk about random shit for hours.I miss those days where we would exchange each other photos of the towns we lived in.I miss listening to you talk.

I hope you will get better and overcome your depression.I hope you will meet someone who's able to take care of you.I'll cherish all the time we have spent together.


 No.409290

>>409283

Did you confessed to him?Maybe he's ignoring you because he's afraid of hurting you.


 No.409366

>>409290

I confessed to him almost a year ago, i did some stupid stuff and hurt him but he wont even talk to me, he just says he has blocked me but never does, he just keeps ignoring me and every now and then might respond, is really nice then ends up being really mean and then just ignoring me again… Its been over two months since he cut daily contact and im going crazy without him, my nightmares have gotten awful to the point i hardly sleep and need medication to stay awake enough to go to work. i have all this money i saved up to spend with/on him but he is gone and idk what to do anymore… I'm so lost without you bunner~ please come back


 No.409425

>>409289

Is that you, M?


 No.409435

I've been

>tfw no bf

Posting for a while but I always manage to fuck it up somehow, please someone fucking help me. I swear I'm actually a lovely person but I struggle so much with self image issues and avoidant behaviour that I always manage to annoy him/make him believe I don't love him/make him ghost me whenever I get an e-bf. I just want someone to hug me and accept me with all my goddamn flaws please.. I'm really close to giving up..


 No.409453

lol faggots, just commit an hero.


 No.409454

>>409435

>avoidant behaviour

[The DSM's definition of Avoidant Personality Disorder] refers to a widespread pattern of inhibition around people, feeling inadequate and being very sensitive to negative evaluation. Symptoms begin by early adulthood and occur in a range of situations. Four of seven specific symptoms should be present, which are the following:

>Avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection

>Is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked

>Shows restraint within intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed or ridiculed

>Is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations

>Is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy

>Views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others

>Is unusually reluctant to take personal risk or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing

o fuck, thanks for letting me know it's a thing with a name, now I can at least try to do something about it


 No.409457

File: 7fcd280c5b9dd42⋯.png (390.38 KB, 616x702, 308:351, weareallsinners.png)

>turns out i sucked a dick that had been in a guy who gets fucked by dogs

this is what i get for taking a chance on a furry huh?


 No.409458

>>409457

Yeah should have been mine instead Anon :(


 No.409459

>>409454

wanna be eachothers' avoidant bfs?


 No.409461

File: 494487c1711e5a6⋯.jpg (653.52 KB, 1150x3664, 575:1832, bernd so fucking sad.jpg)

>>409457

Am I greedy because I want a /cuteboy/ boyfriend, a tradwaifu, and maybe a nubile young girl all at the same time? To be honest I am not good at relationships, so I suppose that could be the issue… However, I only expect extreme cruelty out of other people so I tend act in that regard because of a messed up past.

>>409457

White boys fuck dogs? (they really fuck em')

>>409458

>>409459

>>409454

All Avoidant because of circumstances. All far away from each other…even USA anon too. Heh…


 No.409463

>>409461

It's okay we can just talk online or something and pretend to be bfs until we meet up


 No.409465

>>409463

You're going to fly over to USA someday? I'm probably too old for you anyhow even if you were in the next town over kek.


 No.409466

Never thought that I would see a hungarian posting here, besides me.


 No.409467

>>409465

how old we talking? -3-

>>409466

HONNAN MERRŐL MOST AZONNAL TUDNOM KELL RÓLAD!


 No.409468

>>409467

Önről*

Elnézést…


 No.409470

>>409459

sorry, I can't handle talking to people except anonymously or face to face. i get too caught up in how they'll interpret my words. anonymously I don't need to care, face to face I haven't time to care.


 No.409487

File: 39953567210ef76⋯.jpg (48.09 KB, 600x791, 600:791, hugging_boys.jpg)

>>409289

If you are who I think you might be message me on FB/SC. We'd have a lot to talk about. I would be more than happy to meet and it would be possible to do so soon (13th or 14th this month) after setting it up appropriately.

However, if you are not who I think you might be, then curse your for giving me hope and good luck with your endeavors.

~Co…


 No.409490

>>409467

Old enough to be yo daddy nearly 33


 No.409495

File: eac420b963dbd1d⋯.gif (29.95 KB, 450x675, 2:3, Hansen.gif)

>>409490

So what's the plan here tonight?


 No.409497

>>409495

Just luring cute shotas into my basement as usual. Breddy regular day tbqh.


 No.409504

>>409490

be my daddy please


 No.409518

File: d6e72e8e9ae7bd5⋯.jpg (121.97 KB, 1200x920, 30:23, Hansen.jpg)

>>409497

Really?

And how old did they say they were?


 No.409521

>>409518

300 years.


 No.409535

File: d445d3fe5087021⋯.jpg (49.57 KB, 595x593, 595:593, 4515492c-2d89-4f5d-a000-f9….jpg)

Grown some balls and stop crying soooo damn much, fags.

You're young now, but soon everyone will just feel gross instead of pity


 No.409537

>>409535

>implying it doesn't feel good to wallow in self pity for a while

``Everything`` in moderation.


 No.409540

File: 965e3dcdf3c8989⋯.jpg (16.31 KB, 501x376, 501:376, chris.jpg)

>>409521

You know, I have the transcript.

Why don't you just tell me the truth?


 No.409541

File: e16cd2ab63ddd31⋯.png (16.83 KB, 800x600, 4:3, Ek_onkar.png)

>>409540

He said he was a 300 y.o. incubus, but really he's 13,800,000,000 years old, like everything else.


 No.409550

File: a1f6bf18f80a127⋯.png (215.41 KB, 500x320, 25:16, oh my god daddy.png)

>>409518

>tfw ask for cute shota to come to your house

>tfw it's not FED or COPS banging on your door

>tfw it's not an 11 year old boy

That face when it's a 25 year old man who is 5'6" and hugs you immediately and asks what the shota has to do for daddy.

Oh fug…welllllll might as well go for it yeah?

>>409535

Stop growing hair for 3 seconds Joao….

>>409541

Don't bully my tulpas. They have feelings too ya know!


 No.409623

This may not be the best thread, but I wanted you guys to know that you've helped me a lot over the years. I met a guy I really like in December and we've been dating. We officially became a couple two weeks ago and we had sex for the first time last night.

I was so happy I cried afterwards, he thought he hurt me :S.. BUT that's besides the point. I just had to thank you all for advice and support you've given me and many other anons throughout the years. You guys helped me finally overcome my major depression and find true happiness in my life.

As a side note, holy fuck I did not expect sex to feel so good. I felt embarrassed to be moaning so much when he was on top of me.


 No.409662

I am one of those prison gay autists that has never had any intimacy and flipped out on a dude that I topped once. I had a drug-fueled overconfidence temporarily and thought I could handle forming a relationship right now. I overshared personal stories and feelings to an extreme and visited him uninvited for a short conversation when I thought he wanted to be with me romantically out of misinterpreted text messages. People here and elsewhere warned me that I was being pathetic and it would get worse if I continued on this but I ignored them. I hate myself for having no dignity and hurting people out of no awareness.


 No.409664

>>409662

I manipulate other people by these displays like I am doing right now. I wish i could stop doing this.


 No.409665

>>409664

I want to clarify to you guys that i am replying to myself here. I have become a monster and used this technique my whole life without realizing it until now that i am just whining to get my way. Maybe i am being too rough on myself, i havent done all of the textbook narc things at least but that us what all narcs think.


 No.409666

>>409662

What drugs, anon?


 No.409671

>>409666

Dxm as embarassing as that is. It makes me have crazy emotional swings, possibly delusions (thought i was seeing hallucinations sometimes, thought I was becoming really crazy but everyone tells me i am fine when i asked them about it) and ssri wd symptoms (brain zaps) I think whenever I stop taking it for a couple days but I quit it for a week a while back easily once I started talking to that dude. While taking it I am manic and feel like I am a genius.

I also screwed around with heavier stuff while impulsive/depressed but I think that is behind me. On the bright side at least I havent physically hurt anything and dont get angry much anymore. The personal story I shared with him was about a girl publicly making fun of me for my virginity in hs. Do you think he is hurt by all this? He didnt seem that upset while visiting in person, just told me I need to chill but that was before sharing that story and being blocked. I feel so guilty if he is hurt but I cant ever know now.

I have little real empathy anymore I think but i feel really guilty if I think I hurt something. I always been a pussy when I was a kid and would cry just because someone else was crying and had to develop a hard edge because of bullying, so maybe I am not full narc-mode. How can one tell if their emotions are real or just feigned to get what they want? I am not crying or feeling anything but emberassed and self-hating at all since this happened, what if I just dont care? I dont think I really miss him at all I just want to believe I am a good person.


 No.409672

>>409671

I fucking hate drugs.

>>409666

Nice trips \m/

>>409671

Hey at least you know what drug it was. Imagine that crap without knowing what it was. It would be a lot worse.

> while taking it … I feel like a genius

Yeah isn't that the reason people take drugs? It's a short lived pleasure.

> feeling anything but embarrassment and self-hatred

If you didn't care, you wouldn't feel that way. There would be no reason to hate yourself.

> I don't think I really miss him at all I just want to believe I'm a good person.

Everybody wants to. If you didn't miss him, you would not think of him.


 No.409673

>>409672

Yeah at least I learned a lesson about drugs from this. My sister has a psych degree and i will try to talk to her about all this minus the dxm to see if she thinks I am right. Surely she will be able to see me more objectively than I can see myself.


 No.409675

>>409673

Just tell her about the DXM.


 No.409676

>>409673

from my research so far I think the cause of this is my passive aggressive dad looking up the results of that I realize that fits me exactly., Not that I am mad at him or blaming him, I am responsible for this, ignorance is not an excuse for being bad. I have obsessed over myself being a victim and my social anxiety and mom-oriented issues my whole life and was blind to these other problems.

You aren't supposed to self diagnose for reasons like this I guess but surely if I confess and be truthful/genuine about everything I do and say 100 % of the time nothing will be able to slip past other people, right? heh if I do that I will certainly wind up enslaved in a psych ward for wanting to hurt myself so maybe not at least yet. I have lived long enough to realize I became the creepy bad guy but at least I don't want to hurt anything consciously I guess so I could be worse.

It seems like it would be so much easier short term to escape from all this stuff and never try to make friends or leave my house again but I know that it is better to hurt myself than to hurt others.

>>409675

I have some suspicions she knows about some of it and may have abused the stuff or someone close to her before as I have seen her buying cccs and talking about dumb people abusing it before, I wouldn't think any less of her about that if it were true, but she would think I am retarded if not. She knows I am retarded already so I guess it couldn't hurt.

I know you aren't my therapist but thank you for listening pal, I will beat dxm addiction surely now that I have broken through this stuff. It is tricky because it is a great introspective tool and I would have never learned this or even tried to make a friend with that guy if I hadn't been addicted to it. I need to focus on some other person or thing and just think about them, how they are feeling all the time, stop thinking about myself. maybe picking some abstract concept like an imaginary friend to serve this purpose would help me stop feeling pathetic without abusing an actual human.


 No.409679

File: 8460826315bb9e3⋯.jpg (164.72 KB, 1200x893, 1200:893, apu_figuring_out.jpg)

>>409676

ccc? Don't sweat it been in the same situation (against my will, ironically after stating that "such a thing would not happen to me").

Pic relates, it's trying to figure out what the fuck to do next in order to save the relationship. Turns out, I'm shit at math. Not easy after you tell them you aren't capable of love or emotion - true at the time of the high, not true afterwards.

I think he posted here some time ago so at least that's nice. But he might have forgotten that he had put me on block everywhere, so even if he wanted to talk to me he couldn't as that works both ways until you take them off of the list…but how do you explain to somebody who thinks you hate them that you love them?

But yeah you should tell her about the addiction. Everything else could taint the results of a "diagnosis". I wish you all the best!


 No.409680

Aright I talked with her about all of this minus the dxm. That is just too embarrassing and I am done with it anyway. If I relapse on it once more I promise you that I will try to go to a narcotics anonymous meeting and confess anonymously.

She told me that I am not a narc, that she feels all the same stuff I feel (the phony niceness, solitude), confessed some big mistakes that she didn't care empathy-wise about at all either, and that it is a part of autism. If I am actually a narc that would mean that she is as well and either way I am not alone. I am really glad we (me and my sister and me and you as well) had this heart to heart, maybe I wont need to do drugs if I am able to form friendships more like this in the future.

>>409679

cccs are a particularly dangerous dxm product that also has antihistamines (sorta like benadryl) in it which adds a whole other layer of craziness to it. I have seen a lot of empty dxm and benadryl products and cccs packages in her room before on accident and I had the same thing in my room before but it would be a violation of her privacy (she is really private unlike me) to start looking too much into her troubles uninvited or think about her faults. I can handle this problem myself now but if she confesses to me I will be glad to let her know she aint alone about it.

It's true I overthought a lot about the relationship, practically obsessed over it once I thought he was just like me because he told me he had social anxiety. My sister might be one of those girls that self-diagnoses autism, but whatever it is called it is the exact same experience as mine, so it doesn't matter. I just gotta start getting out of my head every day.


 No.409692

>>409679

I tried to have sex with somebody else after he avoided me but wasn't able to do it and broke off with the other guy before meeting. At the time I didn't see it as cheating because he told me he didn't want a relationship and that hurt, but I didn't go through with it because thankfully I realized that I still thought of him as my bf even if he didn't think of me that way. I told this guy about all this but I don't think I was blocked until after the story about the hs bullying.

You ex bf may have been similar to me here. If he was the guy that cheated on you I am sorry, I certainly never would have considered sleeping with anyone else if we had been in an official relationship even if I had been ghosted. I hope for his sake that your ex realizes he hurt you and makes amends for that.

I also gave this guy my dick pic (only on his request when he shared lewd photos with me unrequested first), a pic of my face, and my phone number when we first met heh hopefully he doesn't get too vindictive, he could really screw things up for me if I actually had any social media presence or job prospects to be ruined without also exposing his own kinks but I don't think he would do that and no one who knows me likes me or would be browsing the sort of sites that he could expose me on. I don't think he would do that and maybe I would deserve the humiliation for being such a creep.

As an update it looks like I am no longer blocked on kik. I told him to stop me when I start overthinking and block me, perhaps that was what he did, removing my ability to do that to him was right. I told him I am a manipulative asshole and that he deserves better. I wont try to talk to him again unless he wants me to, we are clearly a very bad fit.


 No.409696

>>409692

okay he responded to me, seems like he is not as offended as I thought and is still my friend. I confessed that I had been lying about drug use and that it causes my mood swings. I learned a valuable lesson but I still won't go back to messaging or thinking about him like crazy, I wont make this mistake again. From now on anything I want to send him I will put in a notepad or something and hold onto it for until I have been decompressed and been clean off the stuff long enough to feel normal and stable.


 No.409736

>>409623

you give me hope anon, thank you


 No.409771

I don't know how to do anything social properly because I'm a sperg so a relationship is completely out of the equation for me. Also I'm not hot at all and I have a substance abuse issue and mental issues. I'm basically fucked from the get go.

Woot woot.


 No.409782

File: d35a1f9a98bbdd2⋯.gif (5.93 MB, 500x332, 125:83, d35a1f9a98bbdd2ac86d37b0cc….gif)

Its been months since he left, every attempt i've made to try move on fails terrible, i just keep getting used or ditched, idont know why he wont just talk to me and try fix things, somehow he is happier slutposting and being alone than with someone who would do anything for him.

i don't know how life went from looking so pointless to meeting him and it turning my world upside down and me being happy for once, to going back to constant nightmares, sleep depravation and alcoholism, ive started seeing things from the lack of sleep now, i cant drink enough to stop the nightmares without it affecting my ability to work. but aparently i drink enough to severely affect my health according to the doctor. one more month of suffering and if he isnt back i wont be here anymore, but at least i can give my bunner a good start in life and he can get the farm and shoob he always wanted. please come back angie


 No.409784

>>409782

you need serious psychiatric help mate


 No.409785

>>409782

You sound like a turbo faggot, no wonder they left you.

Grow a spine, learn some tough love, you'll never be respected being such a doormat.


 No.409787

>>409784

This is the sadness thread. It is obvious anyone posting here could benefit from an open ear and psychs cost money.

Most importantly heart-broken anon, please quit drinking. Doctors/voluntary rehab can probably help you, this is nothing to die over. Also tell the doctor about insomnia, try antihistamines like benadryl, or maybe even sleeping pills if thats what you gotta do.

I dont know how to give good advice but research anything to do with self esteem and testosterone raising, health, meditation, etc. You deserve to feel the exhilaration abd godlike feeling of a high test and well functioning body that is your right as a man. Try to do whatever you have to to prove you got big cajones, I am sure you can do it but if not that is okay as well. No one should force you to be miserable, take your own side for a while and try journaling and/or visiting a counsellor. Once you have taken thoughts down on paper refuse to let them back in by practicing quiet mind meditation. You may need to look into mindfulness, practice that first, and then practice quiet/empty mind meditation. Escapism can be good. Read classic literature and learn while you also get out of your own mind and into the mind of someone else.


 No.409798

>>409787

if someone is leaving a suicide note on a board like this im pretty sure theres fuck all we can do to help them. legit or not, they need professional help.


 No.409809

>>409787

Majority of psychs are free in Australia especially when on benefits


 No.409820

>>409782

I hate sleep deprevation induced hallucinations and I have had daily nightmares all my life, there was a week long period when i was talking and regularly vcing with someone from 4chan where i didnt have any nightmares, but he ghosted me.. fuck you G.

Please do not give up Ausanon just because of a random slut, we all meet them and it's not worth necking yourself over it. Please stop drinking, you can talk to me if you'd like


 No.409828

File: 5b668b9b21b31f4⋯.jpg (4.94 KB, 235x210, 47:42, 7b9813c326aa87c7508b297b12….jpg)

11 months. Talking to him several times a week for 11 months. I would flirt, he would flirt back. We even hung out once alone and it was fun. He said he wasn't sure if he was ready for a bf so my flirts became more light hearted and when he left me on read I didn't double text till the next day.

He thought I had lost interest. So here I am at 2AM dealing with the fact that he's seeing someone now. And he didn't tell me until yesterday when we were still flirting just a week ago. I thought if I flirted and he flirted back then maybe, just maybe, he'd accept another invite to hang out once he was ready. Or maybe he'd let me hang out in his room instead of relegating me to his living room so his family didn't get suspicious.

But no, my efforts get shit on. Almost a year of always trying to do what I thought he wanted, trying not to be too pushy, letting him come around when he felt more comfortable. What a load of bullshit. Only person irl I've ever met that I truly felt comfortable with. And now I have to either watch him fall in love with someone else or cut him off. I'm not mentally healthy enough for this. Someone save me.


 No.409830

>>409828

Hello, I just saw you on r9gay, please be my bf.


 No.409832

>>409830

I'm sorry but I can't do e-relationships anymore… that's part of why having someone irl that I actually felt comfortable with was such a big deal to me


 No.409833

>>409832

I can go meet you irl just give me time


 No.409834

>>409833

even if you came here you wouldn't be living here. you wouldn't go to my uni. i wouldn't be able to take a 20 minute walk and be at your front door. i cant do long distance im sorry


 No.409835

>>409834

I am a neet I can just be your pet


 No.409836

>>409835

i can barely afford my own expenses anon i dont think i could do that. it would probably violate my lease too


 No.409839

>>409787

Ive been to psychs before i met him and he convinced me to see one a while ago i got given pristiq and had a few therapy sessions but they kept messing the appointments up and werent really interested in helping with what i needed help with and just wanted to push me into work. i started work a week after he removed me. I'll try writing down my thoughts and feelings but i'm not sure if it will help. i feel like i'm broken beyond repair now. but thank you for the advice anon.

>>409820

Evilindria #4562

if u wana talk Hungary Boye

>>409828

iktf anon, thats basically the choice i had. i could either watch him find someone else or leave, instead i tried to push for us to try a relationship but he refused after being flirty and sugestive and even flat out lewd, the only boy ive been with IRL that i could say i was comfortable being myself around and i had some of the best times of my life with him, we saw Phil Collins together and then Trixie Mattel. all i do is look at pictures of us and listen to his voicemail message to hear his sweet voice again.

I wish i could tell you what to do to feel better but i cant even help myself now…


 No.409840

>>409839

my last few messages to him weren't the reasonable, planned things I was going to say. they were frantic questionings of the past year and my future. he said he didn't the conversation was helping anything anymore. I told him he was right and goodnight. He said sorry again. I didn't respond. I don't think we'll talk again for a long time, if ever.

If I don't get him back or find someone like him by the end of uni I'll probably off myself, since the bf dream is the only thing that's been keeping me going. But it's not like I can just cross my fingers and wait year by year hoping maybe one of the newcomers won't be a normie faggot or something… at least it's somewhat comforting to know we're all screaming our pains into this shared void


 No.409848

>>409840

mine always go from civil talks to like me repeating the same thing over and over because i don't really know how to say what i want him to know. words cant express how much he meant to me. i spent a year chasing him and putting up with so much just for him to replace me so quickly say so many hurtful things to me. I was going to kill myself last July but i met him about this time and he saved me. i think 23 years of suffering is enough now. at least with no light at the end of my tunnel.

If you ever want to talk my dischord is in this post >>409839


 No.409859

>>409848

> i spent a year chasing him and putting up with so much just for him to replace me so quickly say so many hurtful things to me.

are you sure you were right to love a man like that? it seems to me from that sentence that you were used and taken for a fool.

if thats the state youre in, i have to say maybe you need to take a step back and ask yourself some questions about where you are in life, what you want out of it, and what is required of you in order to achieve that. i cant really understand this desire to find love or else end it all, ive felt like i stood no chance at finding love in life when i was younger and at a certain point i asked myself the question "do i really deserve to be loved"? the answer to that at the time was "no", so i then asked myself the questions "what exactly is wrong with me"? and "what can i do to make myself worth of the love of the kind of person i want"? what followed was the most important series of changes i ever made to myself in my life, and in the end it payed off. i dont know whats going on in your head but i would wager your life is not hopeless, not if you apply yourself.


 No.409866

>>409771

>Sperg, substance issues

dxm-hooked anon here. I think most of us here have the same exact issues of some kind or another. None of us are alone.

I have had nearly all the symptoms at some point or another but many came under my control during teens, even the more obscure that I never knew were sperg traits like hitting my head as a kid, monotone zombie voice and expression, motor tics that I even did in public for a while, etc. The only one I never did was the throwing fits thing. Do any of these sound like your experience? Don't despair you don't have to have friends to be a good and friendly person, in fact most of the normal older people I know have zero friends left aside from wife and family by middle age so you would probably wind up alone eventually even if you were chad.

If you ever want to try relationships, I would recommend looking for someone with experience dealing with the autists' form of communication, they can make things work despite your problems. I talked with a guy online once that had been in a stable relationship with a sperg for many years who just learned how to communicate effectively with his partner. If you get in a close-knit community or workplace people will come to understand you and work with you.

I am not even sure it is a disorder when high-functioning. Lots of normal people did all of the same things as me and were just good at hiding it like I was. In some small tribe or village you would just be seen as quirky and you could be very useful. The modern world surrounds you with constant stimulus, noise, lights, etc that bother 'tists that would not be possible in a traditional society. Extreme attention to detail, oversensitivity to stimulus, etc could make you able to become very skilled at some specialized and niche skills that normal folks wouldn't be able to stick with. Real intellectually debilitating low functioning autism is a different thing altogether I think and would result in being thrown off a cliff or something as a kid in the old world probably.


 No.409874

After a weird string of events I feel incapable of a relationship now. Everytime I try it never works out, I can barely even talk to boys anymore, let alone flirt with them without feeling awkward or annoying or some other weird emotion…

I just want love and affection


 No.409884

>>409874

>I can barely even talk to boys anymore

Talk to girls. I have this problem, and i can only relate/talk to girls


 No.409890

when i first met him he had just broken up with his ex and i helped him through it until his ex tried to get back into the picture under the guise of just being friends, ended up causing lots of drama and stuff and they were basically making fun of me behind my back, he would ditch me for his ex like they were still dating and like the ex hadn't cheated on him and been a massive cunt the entire time.

but i put up with it all and forgave him and kept trying to make things work. i never liked two of his friends which caused a big issue with him. i wasn't invited to his birthday because of them even though we hung out 8 hours a day ever day for like 5 months. but he told them what i thought of them and caused a huge row and stopped talking to me for a few days but then came back because he missed me. sometimes i feel like i was just a convenience for him more than anything. someone to do stuff with that wasn't going to leave.

On my birthday last year we watched wall-e together and it was the happiest I've ever been. i asked him just before then to tell me if he had feelings for me and he promised he would, but ended up saying he had no feelings and i had a break down, later it turns out he was going to admit he loved me that night but never did for whatever reason, its been almost a year since then, we even went on dates after and did lewd stuff but idk he would never give me a chance and now he is gone, he just ignores me now or responds with faces :(


 No.409894

>>409890

In your first 4 sentences you say

>he is an asshole and a horrible person

then you go on to say

>i want to date him and be happy with him

To be honest, you both sound like ass holes and you two obviously don't work together.


 No.409898

>>409894

I don't think he is an asshole or a horrible person, Everyone makes mistakes or does things they regret. Looking back i don't think he meant the bad stuff to hurt me like it did. I never meant to hurt him, and we used to make each other happy. at least it seemed that way to me


 No.409899

>>409890

>and they were basically making fun of me behind my back

>he would ditch me for his ex like they were still dating and like the ex hadn't cheated on him and been a massive cunt the entire time

>but i put up with it all and forgave him and kept trying to make things work

well more fool fucking you then, you let yourself be played and you were taken for a cunt because of it. nobody in life respects someone who doesnt respect themselves. your ex is a piece of shit and youre an idiot for thinking otherwise.


 No.409946

Just woke up from a dream where my perfect guy wanted to kiss, cuddle and fuck me.

Now I want to die.


 No.409954

Does anyone else ever feel as if trauma from previous relationships with women is turning you homosexual? I've never been in a relationship with a male, but I've been in multiple failed relationships with women. I used to idolize and adore all sorts of women, but now even months after a breakup, those pleasant feelings are replaced with dread and nausea.


 No.409956

>>409899

Idk maybe your right, he added me on telegram but has just ignored me the entire time apart from a few catty remarks. i guess i just haven't given up on him since he is just keeping these mixed messages up the entire time and i'm not even sure what to do once he is gone. I'm so depressed and over life but i'm not even sure where to start fixing things first.


 No.409957

>>409954

i think i kinda know what you mean, except mines boys causing me to not want a relationship at all, no matter how much i've tried i just don't like girls at all. Maybe its time to go back to my familys cult tier church and give their conversion therapy a go

>>409956

he finally blocked me after two days of dragging it out on telegram, idk what he gained from dragging it out and making sure to say things he knew would hurt that he never really needed to bring up. idk what i'm meant to do now, but i know it doesn't involve staying here, i cant watch him keep posting his telegram and nudes in the other threads all the while failing to find anyone who actually cares about him for anything other than pics or sex. Farewell anons, i hope you all have better luck than me.


 No.409961

>>409956

If you want to start fixing something simple first, i recommend focusing on work and budgeting ie saving some amount of money to have a safety net. Getting financially fit is imprtant and is not nearly as depressing or impossible feeling as trying to get emotionally/socially fit. I only recommend this because I started doing it and I feel less hopeless about my future at least in terms of achieving money goals. People also like someone who seems to have their life in order right? If you dont have a job, try practicing something that could allow you to be comfortably neet like writing a book. I never had any success with doing that though. Leaving this site behind for a little while might be the right move. How can you move on if you are still seeing him post here?


 No.409963

>>409956

>i guess i just haven't given up on him since he is just keeping these mixed messages up the entire time

probably because hes having a laugh at your expense and wants to carry it on. assume none of what youve talked to him about is at all private, and that its probably a lot more people than just him whos had a laugh at your conversations with him.

>and i'm not even sure what to do once he is gone

take a good long look at yourself and ask yourself how you got to this situation, what things are wrong with you, and how you can fix them. be honest and utterly ruthless in your judgement of your own failures, and vow never again to be that person. the first step to finding happiness in life is making yourself worthy of it, and we do this by degrees and increments over time.


 No.409965

File: 4996f45bfc3c09f⋯.jpg (562.08 KB, 1200x812, 300:203, 1560242536891.jpg)

for context, I am a female

I can't help but be attracted to boys. Seems like every crush I have had since middle school, the boy turned out to be gay. It's given me an extreme melancholy feeling. Maybe like being a cuckold, but the pain is dull and long term.

I want a boyish boy to shower with affection and tease, I want him to be shy and pure. I want him to love Hitler and natsoc ideology and start a family with me.

These boys don't exist, if they do, they are either homosexual and/or would never be around for me to find them.


 No.409968

>>409965

> I want him to love Hitler and natsoc ideology

only bottoms, bitches, and women are pro-socialism

>I want him to be shy and pure

hes not gonna be a very good dad then, is he?


 No.409973

File: e40b731b80ca66f⋯.jpg (120.14 KB, 331x603, 331:603, e40b731b80ca66fec3e2f2b3e2….jpg)

>>409970

I don't mind them being too manly, looks wise. I like boyish or manly, and everything in between I am really not into traps/CDers/girly boys. It's mostly the receptive and pure personality type I am after. It's something that is more common for the "cuteboy" archetype, which is why I am drawn to them.

I guess I am looking for a purity that doesn't exist anymore in the modern world. Myself being impure as well. I just want to covet the innocence of another. But not to exploit it or destroy it, but to love it and nurture it forever.


 No.409976

>>409973

Hope you find that purity. Maybe it has to do with your surroundings/ environment. The whole way if living and worldview is different from urban to rural or suburban, etc.

deleted my post because I have been typing out walls of text on here too often.


 No.409977

>>409973

>I just want to covet the innocence of another.

>But not to exploit it or destroy it, but to love it and nurture it forever.

im sure it isnt intended, but that giving me real fucking creepy vibes tbh fam. either way, innocence isnt something you should covet. covet goodness, strength, and and real masculine virtue. they need not come in a hyper-masculine body, if you look and are careful, and are yourself worthy of such a person, then theyre out there to be found.


 No.409980

>>409973

you remind me of myself, too bad you're a fucking leaf. that's why i refuse to put myself out there, i neither want to flaw myself nor experience the flaws of others.


 No.409991

>>409467

Bocsi hogy rettenetesen későn írok.Nógrádi vagyok, bár cuteboy nem(Mondjuk régen egy picit az akartam lenni).Amúgy 18 vagyok és sokszor 15-16 nak gondolnak


 No.409995

>>409946

Had a similar dream last night. It's particularly nasty since brother is visiting me and he does not know.


 No.410006

File: e0df6ac3656d800⋯.png (26.25 KB, 128x128, 1:1, life.png)

About a year ago i've had a massive self steem boost and, being a (at least mildly) pretty faced femboy i went on Tinder (yeah i know, >Tinder) trying to find another femboy or maybe a trap to get to know and maybe develop a relationship with. Didn't take long until i've met someone, it was a trap who i didn't know if it was a guy or a gal in the first place (had both enabled in the app's settings), he was pretty upfront and careless about being almost instantly attracted to me, so i just went with it.

Long story short, we've been dating for about 8 months, he's been very abusive to me, shoving my self steem to the ground whenever he saw any sign of vulnerability in me, being outright paranoid and making stuff up about me cucking him (which he had no evidence or proof of, admitting that it was all just gut feeling) and just treating me like shit in general. While we were dating, i've had the worst things happen in my life, and if this relationship ends i honestly think i could go homeless or straight up lose any future opportunities i could have for a decent life as i currently can't get a job and my parents are two irresponsible pieces of shit who never did anything to help me.

At this point i'm just rotting in my bedroom every day, playing whatever my shit pc can run, wondering if i should fake it and try to leech out of him just not to go homeless (as much as that would hurt me deeply) or just deal with the fact that i'm fucked.


 No.410016

>>409965

We exist you know.


 No.410019

>>410006

well fuck, anon. i sure as shit cant tell you what to do in the immediate term besides do your best to pull through one way or the other, but in the long term id be extremely wary of dating anyone who identifies as a trap or a femboy, or is trans. ime, they are often fucking well and truly off their rocker and you have to vet such people extremely carefully to make sure theyre actually worthy of your time and effort.


 No.410088

>>409991

Semmi baj.

Nógrád egy pöppet messze van, de nem baj, őszintén már az is csoda hogy egy másik magyarral találkozok. Tudunk valahol beszélni? Szószerint makd kiugrok a székemből annyira izgi ><


 No.410121

tfw no cuteboy to keep warm at night


 No.410161

>>410019

Not all femboys are bad you know…but the vanity of some is disgruntling to say the least.

>>410006

How the everlasting fuck did you get into such a situation in the first place? Did you move out to live with him?


 No.410164

>>409692

No, no I was the dumbass that ended up cheating. Funnily enough, some idiot tried to sell a friend and me drugs at the bar, we told him to fuck off, he tries to start a fight with my friend. I go to the bouncer. Bouncer throws them out. It appears they checked security tapes and now the guy has to go to prison and hates my friend and me.

>>409771

Das ist das Los des Deutschen, leider. Als Deutscher ist man einfach viel zu autistisch. Oder du bist nur erbärmlich und postest unter falscher Flagge.


 No.410168

>>410019

Yeah unfortunately that's often the case, even moreso in the area where i live

>>410161

>third world country under massive economic crisis

>no jobs available where i live

>uncaring/irresponsible parents

>living with my parents, suspecting that they plan on kicking me out

>rest of my family is radically religious and hate eveything i stand for so i can't get any help there either

tl;dr a really unfortunate series of events i had no control over


 No.410191

>>410161

>Not all femboys are bad you know

not all, most certainly not. ive known some good people over the years. what you will find however is that there are an awful lot of them that are. trap/trans/femboy communities will make that pretty clear to you if you go looking around. theres plenty of awful, predatory, abusive shit that goes on in those places especially with younger members, and older members who do or aught to know better simply shrug their shoulders and excuse that shit because theyre young or troubled or some other shite thats no fucking excuse whatsoever. couple that with an entitled mindset and youve a recipe for countless more examples of the sort of relationship that anons in. fact is, most of these people who whine about not being loved dont deserve someone elses love, at best they deserve ostracization and at worst a prison sentence.

point being, vet people you invest your time and love into carefully. there may be more to them than you can tell in a few months of dating, and nobody deserves the sort of shit ive seen femboys put others through here.


 No.410193

>>410168

thats is unfortunate, anon


 No.410205

>>410164

I hope a Muslim kills you and your friend for being such a cunt. Die scum.

>>410191

>at best they deserve ostracization and at worst a prison sentence

Perhaps you deserve to be stabbed to death and have a bomb go off in your local part of the city, eh you fucking cunt. I'd stab you myself, but I am not there right now. I know somebody will do it to you one day you fucking vile marxist animal.


 No.410209

>>410205

Nice low effort bait


 No.410212

>>410209

The only thing low-effort here is your disgusting body. You aren't cute at all. Just another cunt as usual.


 No.410217

>>410212

Ching chong ding dong, my nigger friend


 No.410224

>>410205

> Brazilian Flag defending drug dealers

> Threatening to stab people

"But why is my country so shit?!". Best thing is if he'd just leave us alone after rejecting his offer the first time, nothing would have happened. I have no inclination towards getting involved in that junkie business bullshit.

>>410191

Do tell. I assume it's some sort of emotional abusive bullshit?


 No.410235

>>410224

Lets see now, child abuse, revenge porn, catfishing for fun (both the casual sort and the prolonged, predatory kind), and plenty of screenshots of people theyre stringing along for laughs. Just a few examples of the shit ive seen people do and spout apologetics for in servers ive come across over the years. I wonder if i dont know what discord servers that one aussie anons ex belongs to.

Plenty of cuteboys are good people for sure, but theres no shortage of cancerous little wankers out there too. If in doubt, steer clear. These little rodents deserve nobodies love.


 No.410286

I recently embarrassed myself by telling a casual hookup guy way too much about myself and that I wanted to be his bf when he didnt want a relationship. Family members set me up blind without asking me with some overweight 19yo female and I started texting her, planned a date and everything even though I am not physically attracted to her at all unless she loses a bunch of weight. I figure the sweetness of her personality and the ability to make family will make it worth it because looks fade over time anyway. I would never have reached out to her but they told her about me and I would look like a coward if I did nothing. Is a practice gf really worth it? I feel like such a liar for dating a girl I have no attraction to when all I want to be with is that guy.

I told the old guy about all this to ask what I should do and let him know I can't do sex anymore if me and her start dating but he still hasnt responded. I feel really guilty but I know that we were never bfs in his eyes so I cant see why he would be upset. He still hasn't responded.


 No.410287

>>410286

>casual hookup

>Family members set me up

>overweight […] female

>practice gf

Ignorance is bliss Anon.. why tell any potential bf this stuff?


 No.410288

>>410287

I just want to be totally honest 100 percent. He has made it clear he doesnt want a relationship and we already had sex so I cant expect him to be a potential bf, just a crush.


 No.410298

>>410286

If you don't feel well dating her i'd say to be honest with her and you both just move on. This whole situation will probably turn into a big snowball effect and fuck you over. Not only will it hurt the most the latest you decide to tell her the truth, but letting people manipulate you creates a bad habit of just letting it happen.


 No.410299

I am an extremely lonely and depressed man trying to accept that he's at least halfway a fag and finding it extraordinarily difficult because most guys I see that I think are cuties are also the kind of people who would call me a nazi or homophobe online for not agreeing with them

someone told me to post here and I'm listening to them because fuck it


 No.410301

>>410299

theres literally a right wing thread here


 No.410302

>>410287

Also it is important to tell him bc I wont be able to sleep with him anymore I have gf.




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