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/cuteboys/ - Boypussy

Dicks and butts
Winner of the 72rd Attention-Hungry Games
/otter/ - The Church of Otter

February 2019 - 8chan Transparency Report
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File: 1453882730072.jpeg (49.92 KB, 249x501, 83:167, Sad.jpeg)

 No.241126

Lots of anons post about how they're feeling sad or how they don't have a boyfriend. So you can post about that kind of stuff here if you want! You should also try to cheer everyone in this thread up. That'd be nice.

 No.401951

>>401932

>MEDIC ACTIVATED

I know this feel a little bit. I used to try to fix people until I realized it's impossible. They will only change if they make the decision to, and you have to recognize whether they legitimately want help or if they're just making another cry for attention. I don't turn my back entirely, I'll offer a favor here and there, but after a few failures that thankfully weren't as catastrophic as yours, I don't allow them to get close enough to control any aspect of my life anymore.

I also realized that I was using my focus on other people's problems to distract myself from my own. If all my time and attention was being used up by some other failure, I could be blissfully ignorant of my own shortcomings instead of addressing them.

Unfortunately my own life hasn't improved since I stopped trying to help others, because now I'm acutely aware of my own issues and still doing nothing about them. Just sitting at home alone, letting mental illness fester because I don't trust treatment methods. Sometimes I think I'm meant to be a punching bag for people worse off than myself because I was slightly happier back when I was doing that, and I was good at boiling problems down to simple solutions when they weren't mine.


 No.401956

See I solved the medic medic issue by acting cold and bitchy as fuck. If no one shows the problem because they think I'm a monster, I don't see anything to fix>>401951


 No.401958

>>401932

You do realize this is a gay thread right?

But I still know how you feel anon…

I've felt this same thing countless times before and as much as I didn't like the solution, I still think it's the best one. The only way I've ever dealt with these feelings, is to think of her as the villain. I know it sounds cruel, and unjust, but if you keep thinking about how you could have changed the outcome and how you are responsible, you will never come to terms with yourself and move on. It is the only way I've found to deal with such issues. Even if you were able to keep the relationship going on for longer, tell yourself she would have found another way or another reason to end it… Sorry but this is the only advice I can give you.


 No.401959

>>401958

Anyone who threatens suicide if you leave them IS the villain. It's sociopathic manipulation. That kind of person doesn't love you, they're only using you, whether it be for emotional or financial support.


 No.401963

>>401959

It's a pretty harsh manipulation at that… I've had somebody close to me threaten suicide, and it absolutely fucked me up in the brain.

Emotional support is nice, but it should not be a one-way street.

>>401951

Nobody deserves to be a punching bag.


 No.401976

>>401951

Indeed it is like that. I've been around people, people who became alcoholics, drug abusers, and so on. These people…they have underlying issues. Especially when it comes to addiction, it's pretty difficult or near impossible to get somebody to accept that and get help. "That something always has to happen first"…

>>401932

That behavior is abusive. There even was physical violence. Your story reminds me of what happened to a friend of mine, one of his prior gf was a intelligent but ragingly psychopathic bitch . It is better to cut all ties with such a person. I mean, if somebody gets "strange" for a temporary period of time - a few months or so - then it can be due to other issues. Stress, loss, etc.

[spoiler]

My best friends brother died, another good friend of mine has been diagnosed with Crohn-disease, I've actually had to talk somebody close to me into therapy for alcohol/substance abuse, and last but not least some asshole did indeed drug me - I've become the most (verbally/emotionally) abusive asshole on that shit - and I couldn't remember jack shit for the next two months…

I do now. I keep writing it down. "I'm gonna make sure you fuck up tonight". "I'm gonna fuck you up". That's one of the things he said to me while I was under the influence of that substance…bad for him that I always was a bit curious of a certain white powder and on his shitty substance did not care about anything in the world (like the fact that snorting white powders is fucking stupid). I now understand why people would get addicted to it. And no, I have no interest in taking this certain white powder again. I prefer to have emotions and not to be an abusive shithead.

[/spoiler]

But constantly? Nope. You don't want to do that to yourself.

1. She isolated you from your other friends

2. She physically abused you

3. She tried to manipulate you with suicide threats.

4. She got her later BF to send you death threats.

At least your friends are looking out for you, making sure you don't end up with her again. You have to accept, at some point, that it wouldn't have worked out. And find somebody else, as harsh as it sounds.


 No.402060

File: 87620719c8928f7⋯.png (862.99 KB, 1366x768, 683:384, 1545604849780.png)

Every guy I meet online is either too far, barely talks, is a loon, is a degenerate, or in some instances has a disease. It's not fair. This is the price I pay for not socializing with real people when I had the chance? I'm 20 and there's no options out there left besides college. Something I dread the idea of.


 No.402063

>>402060

>too far

You just aren't serious enough about finding a bf! Planes exist.


 No.402066

>>402063

I have no money! And I'm in the closet!


 No.402068

>>402066

Well I'm sure you will overcome all obstacles and find a bf if you keep at it anon. It's a hard questline, but worth it from what I hear.


 No.402070

>>402068

I'm trying my best to keep to my native playerzone but it's yielding no results so far! I guess I just gotta keep grinding…..


 No.402088

>>402070

There are risks with seeking out new areas of the map, but sometimes it's what you gotta do. I feel like long distance can work if the intention is to eventually be together. But you have to be sure.


 No.402090

my boyfriend hates me now and i deserve it


 No.402091

File: df6cfa39b5f34cc⋯.jpg (16.16 KB, 255x246, 85:82, 1515788137015.jpg)

I fucked up my mum's lipstick


 No.402092

>>402090

What did you do?

>>402091

That gave me flashbacks into my childhood…no thanks.


 No.402120

File: 81317a963c5d2c5⋯.jpg (71.01 KB, 600x570, 20:19, cronacry2.jpg)

one thing after a-fucking-nother

my life must be some kind of cosmic comedy

im not gonna make it bros


 No.402124

>>402120

I feel the same. Tomorrow is the most depressing day of the year .

You're going to make it.


 No.402125

>>402124

if I believe the family that abandoned and betrayed me, the boyfriend who has good reason to hate me, and the friends who took advantage of me over and over and over, then im insane

legit, hallucinating insane

and if not then im right, and everyone treats me like shit, and my life is a literal joke

either way I lose

I dont want to live like this


 No.402126

>>402125

Everybody has some time in their life that is hard. For some it is longer, for some it is shorter. I understand where you're coming from. The person I love does not want to talk to me, and I'm only starting to remember why - somebody took advantage of a very fucked up situation… .

What did you do to deserve your boyfriends hatred? If you want to answer…if not that's fine too

You don't have to live like that, you know? There's things you can change…but…it isn't easy.


 No.402134

File: bc178722155dd23⋯.jpg (20.84 KB, 550x287, 550:287, heartfulpepe.jpg)

>>402126

Holy shit. I've just went to the bar I got drugged in and saw that boy who ruined my relationship but with a different boy than the boy I love and that makes me happy - it would hurt seeing him with an alcoholic like that .

It's strange. The girl I've went there with says that boy probably doesn't remember anything (cause of "way too much to drink" - he asked her what happened last Friday…). I don't feel much anger towards him. Sure, he ruined the friendship with a person who was very special to me, and still is. But all I can feel for somebody like that is pity.

And I'm sure she can get more information out of him than me if he's willing to talk and remembers something….

I wish the boy I love would call me or something so it could all be sorted out, but if he doesn't want to talk to me then that's that. Don't want to stalk him. A hard thing to do, to let go of somebody you really liked, but if you really love somebody you just want them to be happy…I hope he is happy…

Happy ystävänpäivä. I like the Finnish word more, it translates into friends day…I think that's nicer than the usual word.

Why must life be so weird?


 No.402152

It's Valentine's Day and I just really need to get this off my chest.

Other guys are going out and enjoying themselves with their partners. But I'm sitting here in my room, drinking alone. I'm locked in chastity and I'm about to ride my dildo and imagine I'm being fucked in girl clothes.

I don't really know what I am or what I want anymore. I just want someone to abuse me. To tell me that I'll never use my penis again and lock me in his basement and only let me out so he can fuck me. At least then I can make someone happy.


 No.402165

>>402134

jesus all you care about is gossip

stop flooding this thread with your inane bullshit damn


 No.402186

>>402152

That's a mood and a half. My past few vdays have been like this and things seem to never get better.

Happy Valentine's Day, I hope you're able to find your peace (and significance) in life soon. <3


 No.402187

>>402165

Perpetuating the "hostile gay" stereotype, knowing full well that anon is going through some tough shit in his life rn.

Everything that happens is tea, we have a habitual inclination towards finding said tea.


 No.402192

>>402187

yeah im the hostile one

and you vicious fucking animals are all a bunch of altruistic saints arent you


 No.402196

>>402192

We are not saints, we just don't beat people who are already down.

This is a thread we all share our problems. If you have some I'm sure there would be lots of people who are willing to help. If not then why are you here


 No.402197

>>402196

you do, you always do


 No.402198

>>402197

Again if you have a problem share it with all of us. Not everyone on here is out to get you. In fact I haven't seen a single person who has been acting out on here.

To us this is a safe space - no one wants to hurt anyone. You are the only one who is hostile


 No.402205

just in a barren place, alone


 No.402210

I am just gonna get this od my chest:

My long distance bf went to gaming get together with his sister. He is also part of the comittee too. He will come back home after 2 days and he can't chat with me while away.

Its been only few hours but I miss him.

Maybe I have become too attached to him. I almost always try to bring us together more and maybe rekindle the spark we had. I got kind of tired of trying just before Valentine's day. I even made small chiptune for him but he didn't have any gifts. It feels like Iam always the one with initiative,if I hadn't proposed to watch some vidya videos together, we would likely chat just a little, even on Valentine's day. I am studying for master's degree on uni and he quit the uni about month ago puts up mild effort in job hunting. He plays video games with friends, goes to that get totether, does mentoring to kid, like he wanted. While I trudge through, trying to do well in school, quit video games and live and try to improve my looks with homophobic disfunctioning family.

It just seems like he has way more chill life. He could at least work on developing some skills while unemployed, right?

Fuck, I focused so much on making my relationship with him to work, that I don't know how to tend to my life. I forgot my hobbies and dodnt play vidya either. I just look at meme sites, watch videos and sometimes fap.

Thanks if you read this. And thanks for help to you all here and in cuteboy thread. Happy late Valentine's day.


 No.402214

Can somebody tell me they love me?


 No.402220

>>402214

i love you cuteanon *hugs*


 No.402241

>>402227

>still doesn't believe in the bussy in the year of our lord 2019


 No.402252

>>402227

>Not having enough foresight to recognize "boy busy" as a dirty talk.

Smh tbh


 No.402257

>>402220

Thank you


 No.402259

>>402257

no problem anon ^^


 No.402325

File: 68e3d252dc6de09⋯.png (28.21 KB, 502x198, 251:99, Norsebot(3).PNG)

>Suffered through a severe depressive break at 16

>Told myself that its better to be angry all the time instead of feeling emotions since at the very least I can be productive

>Turned 20 recently

>Spent 4 years being emotionally stunted and distant to everyone since if I ever felt anything besides rage, all the bad shit would come back and I would lose control

>Figured I was going to be alone for the rest of my life so I didn't bother with socializing all that much

>Have no idea how to comfort someone

>Have no idea how to start or even manage a relationship, let alone a romantic one

>Reaching a point where anger is starting to give way to sadness

>Can hardly function on the day to day

>Worried it'll be like this for the rest of my life

I only make ends meat by working graveyard shift at a warehouse where I can shut off my mind and just work. Nobody bothers me, thankfully and even then one of my coworkers asked me if somethings wrong and "how the hell did I end up like this?". I didn't want to attract unwanted attention so I just made some excuses that I was tired from the physical work, going to school, bills, etc. etc. I have very few hobbies and even those are starting to lose their luster. My sex drive is starting to fade away and I can only get any real enjoyment from being away from others and spending time hiking around the mountains near where I live.

I have no desire to kill myself. Not because I think things are going to get better, but because I have an intense fear of death.

Any other anons that went through something like this?

How the hell do I get out of it?

I still have hopes and dreams that I want to see through before I get too old, but I also feel like my time for them is up or the opening is starting to close.


 No.402333

>>402325

What you write about seems very serious. I think you should visit psychologist about this and just talk with her/him. Although, I would avoid needless medication if I were you.

I think I went through something similar to your case. I had pretty crappy childhood so to escape reality or my sadness, I would play a ton of video games. I eventually stopped not long ago but it helped to cause me to be socially and emotionally inept. At some point before that, I got tired of being without love so I eventually got my psyche healthy enough and found bf by a chance. Having responsibility to him and wanting to meet up someday often motivates me to get better and better.

There is a saying that "being mad at someone without expressing your anger is like drinking a poison and expecting the other person to die from it". You realize now that you can't go on like that. But your situation is maybe better than you think. You are only 20 yo now. That's plenty young. That also goes to show that you only need to overcome your condition to have healthy sex drive again.

I have spent some time now trying to get in touch with my emotions. There is some strange video on TED Talks about how we aren't at mercy of our emotions and that they are built, not built in at birth. Its complicated and I can't say I agree with everything in that video but I agree that to experience different emotions that I miss, it will require some concious effort on my part too.


 No.402343

I feel awful every day. Everyone i ever cared about is gone and im all alone. I'm so pathetically desperate for any even the slightest affection and company that i'd probably get on some hookup app and get with any rando who would let me suck them off and stay the night if i weren't so wracked by anxiety and afraid to leave the house. Everything is fucked and there's no hope.


 No.402348

>>402186

>>402134

>>402196

im sorry for lashing out

Ive realised that I should just try to be good to others, im sorry for not taking finanon's probems seriously, they affect him greatly and thus are serious problems, because of how they affect him, i sorry, I was lacking in perspective, his problems are just as valid.

ive taken alot of abuse from this social cirlce, whenever I post feel like im attacked becauseof my scars, persecuted because im as perfect like so many others

we all have our faults, im sorry for acting out, for lashing out at those who I felt hatred for, for the most meaningless shit, in that I was angry for not feeling recognised, I lashed out at finanon, the one person in this thread who is trying to help others and being good to one another, the one person who is trying to help others whilst calling out for help

im sorry for being hurtful toward you and others, I cant understand such personal dramam, ive never been good at such things, but I dont wish ill upon you, I want you to hae a happy life where you help others as to let them live as we all want to

a happy life we all want to live, something better for everyone, not something we desere, but something we can make happen for eachother

dont perpeutate the pain

give unto others, and if not then go fuck yourself

the way I see it is, be chill unto eachother, and if not then fuck off, if you cant do unto others as you would WANT for yourself, then youre a drain of society

a black hole wasting that which makes us better than animals, a bigger picture where sure, life is hard as it always is, for everyone, but it is better because there are those who are willing to help you, your friends, your family, your lved ones

it doesnt take much effort to carry ones self

it takes, to some, more effort to help another, and too little efort to help oneself

there are risks, we can learn that, I learned to take care of myself, but ill help others where I can


 No.402349

>>402348

*not as perfect as others

trust me im barely mid tier when it comes to this place

sorry, Im a weak typer tbh


 No.402431

>>402348

>not as perfect as others

>I learned to take care of myself

anon, if you have done that, then you are better than almost all of us. we all come here because we have problems and want to share them with others. if you have a stable life, then your experience is extremely valuable to all of us, no matter the skill you describe it with. we all have problems here and no one will judge you for anything.

i have had a big problem with social medias. i'm afraid of cameras, so i don't use things like facebook, snapchat, instagram, etc. i'm not really active on any discord servers, or messenger groups - i just can't seem to get into their conversation. this is the only place where i have no problem opening up and saying the things i want to say without worrying.

i'm glad you opened up anon and i hope you continue to do so in the future - i'm sure you'll like this place


 No.402539

File: 7a7a2a058deed2b⋯.jpg (52.98 KB, 668x716, 167:179, lTh7hcF.jpg)

>>402325

Are you me, anon? Only differences are I'm older and have been like this longer. Had my depressive break at 14. I've had just one meaningful friendship since then but it felt like that happened more out of blind luck than anything I did myself. I was still really bad at it and haven't had anything like it since. Work was a nice enough distraction til I realized it won't fill the void inside me. I'm trying to talk to people, but… I feel broken and I don't know if it's even possible to fix me.


 No.402560

i think it's time to give up on people entirely. being a bipolar autist simply makes forming lasting connections impossible. guys seem to find me attractive but my personality is just so shit and undersocialized that they all disappear pretty fast and any connection i think we did have was probably just delusion. all i want is to be a cute little househusband & to just love someone completely but the simple reality is that i haven't even had a real friendship in 10 years. how long do you keep trying to be a better person before you just take the l and jump off a bridge. it all just hurts too much but being alone hurts too.


 No.402563

>>402560

Want to live with me? My ideal relationship is sitting in silence slowly jerking each other off while watching movies, and frotting ourselves to sleep. I don't like small talk and saying things that don't need to be said, I just want to be reclusive with someone else to touch and hold while doing so.


 No.402594

Everyone I meet on dating apps is either:

1. Too old and unattractive

2. Around my age but obsessed by sex and not nice

3. Already in a relationship

Where, oh where can I find a boyfriend my age that will appreciate my shy personality? ;_;


 No.402647

i miss him so much bros

please come back

>>402594

they are all also shy


 No.402671

>>402343

Hey anon, want someone to talk to?


 No.402673

>>402671

Sure, why not.

you got discord anon?


 No.402674

>>402673

Sure! Email me here and I'll send it to you.

throwawayt5447@gmail.com


 No.402675


 No.402699

The physical pain you get in your chest when your heart breaks is a real ouchie. I got sadness, but nobody to confide in.


 No.402709

File: fcba5184920807b⋯.jpg (71.62 KB, 1100x1100, 1:1, beta_boi.jpg)

I Know nobody loves me , nobody will like my anxiety and depression makes it impossible. I'm weak minded , I'm heavily medicated for so many mental issues that nobody will ever desire a relationship with me. I Just want a quick and painless death at this point. Nobody will ever love me and I know that , I'm too much of a hastle I shold kill myself and spare someone else the trouble. I just desire to die quick and painless and be done with this mental torture which will never be comforted by human affection. Nobody will ever love someone who is constantly crying or having mental breakdowns ..

Nobody will ever love me as more than a friend , I'll always be a mental cripple.


 No.402718

>So what accounts for the relationship between borderline personality disorder and sexual masochism? The answers are complex and not fully understood. However, researchers believe that sexual abuse likely plays a significant role. Indeed, the connections between BPD and sexual trauma are undeniable; a study published last year in the Industrial Psychiatry Journal found that approximately 50% of people diagnosed with borderline personality disorder experienced some form of childhood sexual abuse and others have estimated the number to be as high as 75%.

oh.

>>402699

you want someone to talk to anon?

i really understand that feel

>>402709

it's really fucking hard man, but just because you have weaknesses doesn't mean you can't be loved even if your shitty brain is deadset on convincing you otherwise. we usually can't see the good in ourselves until someone else finds it for us and maybe that turns >tfw bf into the biggest drug of them all but also the hardest to come down from. i guess this doesn't really have any point to it other than i wish i could give you a hug right now qt, life can be really painful and hopeless but it also can be really good sometimes too. you can be loved and you will be.

it's probably not what you want to hear but exercise seriously helps a lot with the anxiety, really just anything that can let you get away from your thoughts for a while


 No.402755

File: 1d67603debe4faf⋯.jpg (234.13 KB, 850x1328, 425:664, 1545960318757.jpg)

>>402718

3 Years ago I would have never comtemplate suicide as a serious option , now it looks so comforting. The idea of freedom from this constant mental pain and nobody except family my pain through it as I draw deeper and deeper into the dark wishing for the sweet release of death. The funny thing is I'm so set against telling anyone how fucking unhappy I'm just slowly yet quitely building this feeling of grief inside me.


 No.402778

>>402718

I’d like to talk to someone who had trouble coming out, that’s my problem at the moment, I need some advice for my specific situation because, well it’s been like 4 years and nothing has changed.

If you have Discord/Steam and don’t mind me hassling you. I’d appreciate that ;)


 No.402791

>>402755

you need to find an outlet for these feelings anon, whether it's therapy or some kind of preferably physical skill you can immerse yourself in or just fucking screaming into a pillow. i know what it's like to be so full of pain & to feel so trapped that there seems like no way to go on living and at the same time trying so hard to seem *okay* and not worry anyone and just being so completely tired from it all. it's ok to feel like that but it also doesn't have to be that way forever. keeping all that shit inside though is a slow death.

>>402778

sure :)

sleep#0732


 No.402809

File: 016545f2a34e73a⋯.gif (887.05 KB, 500x349, 500:349, 1547939029853.gif)

no one will talk to me. im boring and idk what to do about it. people only like me for my looks and i just want to talk but no one will because im boring. maybe im autistic idk


 No.402826

>>402809

You say you want to talk, but if people think you're boring then you have nothing to talk about? Or can you talk at length about specific topics, but nobody else finds those topics interesting?


 No.402836

>>402809

what sort of things interest you anon?


 No.402851

>>402809

I know how you feel, all my friends are far more intelligent than me, in their eyes I’m only ever boring or being stupid, it’s only a hassle when they talk to me. The only thing that keeps us together is vdeo games.

I’m reading a load of books, based around their interests, at least then I’ll be able to hold a conversation.

If you ever want to talk

GetMyDiscord@8chan.co


 No.402853

>>402809

Honestly, this is one of the easier problems to fix.

A lot of people struggle with having the personality, but not the looks, however the reverse is simple - you just need to establish an identity.

For this I would recommend a number of things:

- taking time off (alone), travelling, enjoying nature, etc.

- asking yourself questions and answering them - getting your priorities straight

- I would start writing somewhere a list of things you like and dislike (I know it seems silly, but it helps)

- try to expand your interests - pick up the brush, or an instrument, start reading, etc.

- it is detrimental that you focus on what YOU like, not what others like

- the more you better yourself, the more people will want to talk to you - try to make yourself an interesting person and people will have an incentive to learn more about you.


 No.402856

I hope that non-cuteboys can post here.

I really hate myself. im not a cuteboy but I want to date one, be with one, cuddle with one, share my hobbies. But im just an ugly fat retard with no talents who just works at walmart. I'm slowly turning my life around and losing weight but im already 25 and the gap is closing real fast where anyone would be interested in me at all. Not to mention I have no self esteem, not good at talking, hate myself due to almost decade old shit that I did, etc etc

really sucks when most of my life is filled with regret


 No.402862

>>402856

What's important is that you're turning things around, no matter how slowly and how many bumps on the road and setbacks there are, alone is worth more than you can imagine. I hope you manage to keep improving on things and get to be happy anon. A lot of the cuteboys here are only interested in or looking for other cuteboys but not all. imo a kind, cute personality makes a cuteboy even more than the most lickable smooth tummy or whatever.


 No.402869

>>402853

I like this


 No.402870

>>402869

glad you agree


 No.402883

>>402862

well ive pretty much given up on actually getting with a cuteboy. so im just turning around my life for myself. It won't really change anything unfortunately, outside of a little bit better self esteem, but I haven't seen any cuteboys/traps into almost 30/30+ people so maybe realdolls will be realistic by then


 No.402884

>>402883

>well ive pretty much given up on actually getting with a cuteboy. so im just turning around my life for myself

while i think its a good thing that you're doing it for your own sake since trying to motivate yourself solely with '>tfw no bf' is not a good idea, you shouldn't give up on finding a cuteboy.

>I haven't seen any cuteboys/traps into almost 30/30+ people

Well consider this your first time :)


 No.402885

>>402884

oh, hot. im glad that maybe someone will be interested in me by the time I get in shape. I just need to get a new scale because the one I have is broke and keeps flinging between 230 and 260, which frustrates me. Thanks for the words of encouragement as well, made me feel better.


 No.402886

>>402885

np qt ^^


 No.402889

>>402885

>>402883

most twinks you meet irl are really into masc and daddies myself included get /fit/ & sort your life out and you could be swimming in boybutt for the next 20 years


 No.402934

File: 22b81ebbbd29ce7⋯.png (185.17 KB, 682x672, 341:336, The Homosexual (Libido Do….png)

>>402889

That would explain it.


 No.402935

>>402934

This would only make sense if you ignore all the super masculine homos or the ones who are solely into younger guys. Unless bears are also seeking fatherly approval in twink bussy.


 No.402950

>>402934

That's pretty dumb. I don't want to be masculine. Although I'd certainly like more strength and fighting skill too. Lacking that sucks.


 No.402957

File: 18b62b143f2bb76⋯.jpg (87.54 KB, 972x830, 486:415, jebus crisp4.jpg)

>>402791

I Have 4-5 Doctors , I also can do 100 Push ups and 100 sit ups. When I was younger I helped my neighbors build a Patio in their backyard and I could run a 1K. Dude I'm just tired of breathing, I'm contemplating buying a shotgun to commit suicide with.


 No.402958

File: dfa1b8d2c15ae9a⋯.png (483 KB, 1132x748, 283:187, apu1.png)

>>402957

Can someone add me on discord ??

Reactionary Prot#6376


 No.402960

File: 735da028070fda6⋯.png (640.71 KB, 1242x2688, 207:448, 7FB6B32A-3D63-4F38-84B5-00….png)


 No.402961

>>402958

>>402960

I know it’s 1AM, don’t judge me thanks


 No.402962

>>402960

Lads, listen, I’ve noticed my mistake.

It’s that uK education combined with 1AM.

Feel free to judge me this time


 No.402963


 No.402965

>>402963

Sent ;)


 No.402987

File: ba5539dcbee45f7⋯.png (145.13 KB, 650x427, 650:427, wipe out.png)

I need comfort. I need somebody to tell me everything is going to be okay.

I got laid off, I'm in debt and might become homeless, my parents are getting a divorce, my brother got diagnosed with a type of brain cancer and my childhood dog of 16 years got killed by a car.

Oh my god I can't deal with this, I can't. I don't know what I'm going to do


 No.402989

>>402987

That's really awful fam, no one can be expected to deal with that sort of shit.

If you need someone to talk to just send your discord or something, i'm around most of the time.


 No.403002

>>402987

That really sucks, I just lost a really close family member to brain cancer this morning, they refused treatment for personal reasons.

I really hope your brother gets through it, I also hope you land into a new and better job, I’m getting laid off in March, RIP my student loans.

We have a lot in common my friend :D

>>402989

And yea, I don’t know 1 Brit on here to not be online on discord 24/7, if you ever wanna talk were here. <3


 No.403043

File: 002f1b4360377f5⋯.jpg (127.69 KB, 400x479, 400:479, Kempefer.jpg)

>Suicidal Thoughts

>Manipulation

>Chokes and sputters until mucus comes out when you eat

>Lonely

>Depression

>Blood in stool and urine

>Few emotional relationships are with sociopaths who abuse you or know people who mistreat children

>Genetically predisposed to kidney stones

>Aspergers

>Math Disorder

>Eating problems

>Sex addiction

>Anxiety

>Heavily medicated

>Suicidal often

>Forced out of school because education system believes that I'm supposed to be treated "harshly" because of my disability and left in a room with kids who are drugs offenders while Teachers deny me too leave and haven't been Taught the entire day while getting asked to massage Teachers shoulders

>Nearly jailed falsely as teen on more than one occasion

>Had period of sex addiction and dependency on other people from 15-18 (specifically hardcore fetishists) which ended around 18

>No Diploma

>Can't get GED because of math problems

>Hospitalized

>Only one real good friendship in entire life

For the love of god just fucking shoot me ….


 No.403071

>>403043

How old r u?


 No.403079


 No.403103

Really miss when this board was active. Again. I miss it periodically, I guess. But Tumblr's dead and this place is sparse af for porn and camwhoring and IDK where to go now for lewds.


 No.403104

I'll never get a boyfriend because I'm an emotional leech who constantly needs validation and will provide nothing of worth in return besides maybe my body.


 No.403105

>>403104

You can get a boyfriend. I mean, you've probably got a better body than me and I'm even worse than you in every other way, too, probably… and I kind of have a boyfriend.


 No.403106

>>403105

My body is pretty ok.

>I'm even worse than you in every other way, too, probably

I seriously doubt this. I'm a very draining person who would probably just get really tiring to talk to when I have my daily mental breakdown.


 No.403107

>>403104

>>403106

hey qt, wanna be unstable together?


 No.403108

>>403106

Personality's not that big of a deal tho. Like it sounds like you actually have emotions, which is a plus.


 No.403111

>>403107

Maybe. Do you have a discord or something?

>>403108

>Personality's not that big of a deal tho.

Is it not? If I'm looking for something long term I feel like it would be.


 No.403112

>>403111

fraudmaid@cock.li


 No.403113

>>403111

Just speaking from experience, here as a late-20s NEET who can't feel anything. If I can do it, you can too!


 No.403115

>>403112

Sent a message.

>>403113

I also have unrealistic standards that won't be met by anyone who couldn't do better than me.


 No.403151

This is literally the first post I'm making here and I'm starting to age out of being cute and posting on a dying board.

I really feel like I've wasted my life and I want to kill myself.

I just want a qt bf that could help me move on from the waste of life that I was in the last few years and help me move on with my life. But I know I'll never get this.


 No.403159

>>403151

Let's die together.

My world is dead.


 No.403176

that feel when no bf

also I hate my job and my health isn't great but it's not like I could cuddle an employment opportunity or general wellbeing anyway


 No.403200

>>403159

how did it die?


 No.403206

>>403176

sickly boys can be pretty cute when you get to protec and care for them


 No.403216

>>403206

Just don't make it the only reason you're with them, otherwise they could grow to resent that they're such a burden


 No.403228

File: 72b0614831cab10⋯.jpg (986.25 KB, 2560x1440, 16:9, 20190228_103202.jpg)

File: 36c05af8eb5ea9c⋯.jpg (1.03 MB, 2560x1440, 16:9, 20190228_103157.jpg)

File: 52d1c8eed926556⋯.jpeg (231.39 KB, 1152x2048, 9:16, Dz3Y4tCW0AAW-KQ.jpeg)

File: 154b418918fc369⋯.jpeg (208.08 KB, 1152x2048, 9:16, Dz3Y4tEW0AA_IWq.jpeg)

File: 34be4bb6de260b0⋯.jpg (1.04 MB, 2560x1440, 16:9, 20190226_131437-1.jpg)

Does my drawings look nice ?


 No.403229

File: 0a16a5c302e40ab⋯.jpeg (165.4 KB, 2048x1152, 16:9, Dz3Y4s_X0AAyF87.jpeg)

File: e1428cfdc8e4e77⋯.jpg (847.42 KB, 2560x1440, 16:9, 20190225_200427-1.jpg)

File: a008ae5ce42d8d8⋯.jpg (1.06 MB, 2560x1440, 16:9, 20190301_114802.jpg)

>>403228

More drawings


 No.403230

>>403206

I like the sound of that. Would you like to help me take my temperature sometime?


 No.403232

File: da6869cd968c19c⋯.jpg (179.59 KB, 1920x1080, 16:9, Yuno_Juno.jpg)

>>403043

Can someone treat me well ? I'm probably take a nap here soon , but I'd love someone to take care of me with how many psychical and mental problems I have …

I may just shoot myself at this point , maybe my parents and little brother will forgive me.


 No.403234

>>403228

These drawings honestly don't look very well made. But those pictures of humans are kinda nice to look at.


 No.403235

>>403234

Two of those I did during a rainstorm for someone sketching birds , m-my apologies if it looks ugly …

I'll maybe work on doing some more later


 No.403239

>>403200

Fire.

But also overdoses prolly.

But also everything I was interested in otherwise just fading out. The actual literal deaths are more like punctuation.


 No.403253

>>403230

sure and i'll kiss you to make it all better :3


 No.403262

File: 6fd4aae88db533c⋯.jpg (37.75 KB, 425x497, 425:497, tumblr_mgn7kh6ngs1ro00rwo1….jpg)

>>402060

I feel the exact same way anon …

You doing okay these days ? I'll gladly speak to you if need or feel like it ^_^


 No.403282

>>401039

your link kinda died,mind re-posting it?


 No.403300

>>403232

if you're still there, mind telling me some of the things you like? hobbies n such


 No.403301

File: f29a709b7c683cc⋯.jpg (345.97 KB, 1242x1214, 621:607, qcz6cmB.jpg)

I don't know if I'm sad but I don't know what the fuck to do really. This cute guy I've known since I was a kid and have been friends with for a long time recently started to get interested about my sexuality. I told him I was bisexual and from there he's been slowly asking even more questions. Last night while we were high it surmounted in him asking me if I ever had sexual thoughts about him. I had to cover my face cause I was blushing so much. I really love him and would love to do sexual shit and all that with him but he has a girlfriend. What the fuck am I supposed to do I'm not gonna fucking cuck his gf.


 No.403303

>>403301

if they aren't so happy together maybe it'd be right to get him to break it up

ask him how he feels about his current relationship in general, and maybe talk to his gf as well

if you're lucky, maybe they both want out already


 No.403304

File: 176642df25fdda0⋯.png (233.21 KB, 480x480, 1:1, c0733ea9c18de5f6c3cf5130c0….png)

>first day of uni tomorrow

>anal fissure from dildo 2 days ago

Why does this have to happen?


 No.403305

>>403301

a 3 way with both of them is probably the most open thing you could do to with him without cheating, but that also might make you just want him more. idk anon, str8 boys and bis will break your heart every time but at least you can have fun with them for a little while before they hurt you.


 No.403335

>>403304

it's just your ass getting ready for it


 No.403354

Read a fucking blog post from 2014 about Russia in response to the "gay propaganda" stuff with a line about seeing emo twinks gyrating on eachother in underground Russian gay clubs. That's all I ever want rly, but it's so far away and so far gone.


 No.403379

>>402348

Look man it's fine. I wasn't really in my right state of mind lately anyways and was pretty much going crazy. Tbh, having a break from this board was a good thing (I met that boy who blocks me out now on /cuteboys/).I still don't know what to do. I don't even know if I want to remember anymore - some stuff comes back, some doesn't and it's more than enough to go insane.

Then again I have thought about that relationship/friendship I had with that boy and I came to a few conclusions.

The first one is "If you have problems leave them at the doorstep" when telling somebody you want a relationship with them is a bit … well. Let's just say it like this: Everybody has problems, I do too, and I feel telling somebody "you either don't have problems or you will never be my bf" is extremely disrespectful and a red flag. It's just like saying "I want you to care about me, but I don't want to care about you".

Then to do things like say "I want you to visit me more often and if you don't I will block you out" is also a form of blackmail, I guess.

And then actually blocking out somebody after such events transpires is pretty harsh in its own right - even thought it's somewhat understandable. At least he could

have said something, a simple yes or no to the question "Did I talk to you that night?" would have sufficed. I guess he did not care as much as he told me after all…

And well that appearantly he saw me as his BF for the last two years and I didn't know about that was weird enough. Not that I would be particularly against that, it's just … it would have been something nice to know.

He did want to visit my home country … but even that felt kind of pressured … I wish he would have just given me some time to figure myself out.

I guess in the end it just got too much?

I still like him though, even if there were problems I would love to talk to him again, but the decision is finite. If he really did love me, he'll find a way to contact me. Not on SC though, I had that only because of him and deleted it afterwards. But really I'm tired of people expecting things from me, but being unwilling to sit their asses down and have a civilized discussion about stuff privately.

He might or might not think I would be on some other bullshit, but really I'm not…even stopped drinking and lately cigarettes/nicotine - even though I don't really have any incentive to since I've lost contact with him

I also decided if the boy who escalated it all ever fucking threatens to "get me stabbed" again, I will make sure to have video evidence of that and that he will face legal consequences. I really have had enough of that persons bullying bullshit.

>>402198

Thank you Bulgaria anon, you are nice.

>>402325

>>402333

I know how you feel. I have a lot of anger built up inside, and it's partially why I wasn't sure about getting into a relationship - I honestly am afraid I'll treat a partner similar to how my parents used to treat each other (there was a lot of blaming and shaming and screaming on both sides. Not exactly the best thing for the mind of a 12yo back then), and I don't want that for somebody I love. I'd rather suffer lonliness than see somebody I love being abused by me.

It can be worked on though. I've spent a lot of time on my own lately, and I must say it did do me some good, but at times was also bad.

All I wanted was a stable normal life with a lovely boy, and I could have had it if it wouldn't have been for this meddling, manipulative, selfish sack of sh…


 No.403408

i used to post on here a few years back, during like 2015? when i was 15/16, and before I had the rest of my growth spurts, all i'm gonna say is enjoy the twink/fem life whilst you can lads, I went from being the perfect example of a /cuteboy/ to being a 6'3 depressed builtfat bara type shit. pls try to enjoy urselves, and only post pics if ur legal <3


 No.403410

File: 268e544c8f54aac⋯.jpg (341.04 KB, 1920x1920, 1:1, collecto.jpg)

>>403300

here is a list of stuff I collect

Taxidermy , Antiques , Militaria , Working Firearms , Non Working Firearms , Religious items , Tribal items , Toys , Posters , Movies , Games , Consoles , Books .


 No.403411

>>403300

I'll show you some of my stuff in some neat little aesthetic pictures if you feel like it.


 No.403422

File: f46c62f1681fb9b⋯.jpeg (90.68 KB, 500x483, 500:483, 1460902609466.jpeg)

>tfw too self conscious to put myself out there but also want to stop being alone


 No.403423

>>403408

I'm so glad I never had any late growth spurts.

Good advice, btw


 No.403426

my head hurts

I'm contemplating suicide


 No.403427

I'm gonna go to bed …..


 No.403433

>>403408

>6'3 depressed builtfat bara

that sounds pretty hot tbh. you should bully my butt until you're not sad anymore :3


 No.403437

File: edc48a64f5c30a9⋯.png (87.74 KB, 600x539, 600:539, CUMAMA1.png)

When I was 18 , I Took a walk from the house

I Walked

and walked

and walked

until I was down a freeway

and in the middle of nowhere

my feet hurt

it felt weird …

like I was

faraway

yet ..

still their

somehow

granted some sort of pass by how forgiving life had been to me , it felt surreal

this feeling of moving their

the sliding feeling your feet

weet

cold

hurting

you ..

still going

until you notice ..

were …

were now ?

were do I go after this ?

I Felt afraid

and cold

and it seemed pointless

so I went home

shuffling my feet as I went home down that same set of roads

stopping on the way to get myself a drink at a dinner

and hitch hiking

only to come home and be greeted by my concerned mother

it felt as if my life came to a point were I was so resentful , yet so insistent to push on and never so anything that could happen. it felt like their is perpetual feeling that it's so oddly pastel yet grim and dark from how decisive everything has been

their is a spiritual among the plains people of the central part of America

they will hook your nipples through pieces of raw hide

and slowly raise you from them

as the drums beat

louder

and louder

as you feel more pain

until you nipple suddenly are from their skin by the raw hide ropes pulling at them

it is a form of rite of passage for those people

it allows them to see the spirits

through deafening pain

for me I felt my real moment of life understand was their

at that moment

through that suffering and anxiety


 No.403497

people are bad and i hate them


 No.403501

>>403433

>burger anon

god i really wish I could mang, but i'm a bong boii


 No.403503

File: 4cbeace87938cb9⋯.png (176.12 KB, 589x346, 589:346, pika.png)

>>402989

I don't have a discord, but thanks for the thought.

>>403002

> I just lost a really close family member to brain cancer this morning

What kind? My brother might live for another few years but I know some cancers are more aggressive.

I'm going to ask for something extremely pathetic. I want somebody to comfort me. I have nobody to lean on the moment and I'm taking this all on my own. I can't handle this.


 No.403519


 No.403520

I want to spend time with him but i can't because he's been dead for a year.


 No.403525


 No.403526

File: b9b00e9711ec7a6⋯.png (33.36 KB, 1240x282, 620:141, MEME TIME.PNG)

>>403520

>Someone died

oh…

You mind being more specific you blithering cunt ?


 No.403539

They must all sound sound horrid ! UGH !!

oh well I'll improve from this point

https://vocaroo.com/i/s0XeHYVx6m3a


 No.403542

>>403503

Not sure, some sort of brain tumor, they died within 6 weeks of finding out. she found out far too late, I'll comfort you anon, you play any vidya? ;)


 No.403544


 No.403545

File: 2289706d5166589⋯.jpg (66.76 KB, 500x421, 500:421, 400d0138df6865ac3b283f93bb….jpg)

I've given up. I know I'm gonna be alone. I'm too clingy and needy for my own good. I know no one even wants to be around me or use me as anything more than a pic leech source. The biggest chances of happiness I had are gone and squandered. I'm a fucking mess. I won't kill myself but there's been and will continue to be days when I wish I did.


 No.403558

>>403545

What the fuck is a pic leech source? You're a person, just like everybody else.


 No.403559

>>403558

They just want pictures from me or saving whatever porn images I share with them then dash.


 No.403560

>>403545

wanna talk to another clingy sadboi? just being able to relate to someone without having to pretend to be okay seems like it might be nice

i kinda admire you for giving up, i wish i could. it'd hurt a lot less

>good vento translation neverever


 No.403566

>>403560

Not really. At this point it's best for me to just stop trying. Quit while I keep getting beaten down everytime I try to get ahead.

I've tried to give up in the past but always went back to my bad habits. I hope this time I learn my lesson.

There is one on mangadex but I just quickly grabbed this image off google.


 No.403589

>>402198

Damn, I don't post here often, but I never thought I would meet a fellow Bulgarian on /cuteboys/ of all places.


 No.403590

File: 8ec5eec1698f6af⋯.png (685.36 KB, 631x473, 631:473, me.png)

File: be38a50885382fd⋯.png (635.44 KB, 642x481, 642:481, no pants.png)


 No.403591

>>403590

wrong thread?


 No.403592

>>403591

whoops


 No.403596


 No.403603


 No.403604

>>403603

How drunk are you?


 No.403607

File: 8a2a8a602820b28⋯.png (99.76 KB, 242x301, 242:301, tiber.png)

File: c749616ef198a93⋯.png (297.42 KB, 694x553, 694:553, DOGMA3.png)

File: 24855c000aa975a⋯.gif (123.88 KB, 590x333, 590:333, 1366318073615.gif)

File: 1756cb057ca8f10⋯.gif (2.47 MB, 600x338, 300:169, compalas.gif)

>>403604

How many proxies are you using :D :D :D


 No.403612

>>403559

Tbh, hard to understand. Isn't it much more fun to lewd a qtboy than to fap to pictures?

Unless you can't see each other in a while, but if you're already at that stage might as well do video

>>403590

Nice butt. Wrong thread. Nice butt none the less.

>>403545

What squandered the happiness?


 No.403614

>>403612

Sure it is but I'm not gonna lewd someone right away. That's even dumber if they're just gonna add and dash.

I never find ANYONE in my area or even close enough. Even despite my city being the heart of the state with a big population.

Two people. Neither are worth it in the end. One was a whore in the end who manipulated me. The other was too caught up in ideologies. Sadly both were the closest I ever got to a real sense of happiness despite these problems.


 No.403625

>>403607

Thats doesn't even make any sense


 No.403632

>>403614

Oof. I've been manipulated into ruining a relationship of mine that meant a lot to me .

At least it feels somewhat good to know that even in big cities people have trouble finding someone .

Ideologies? Far right? Far left? I guess the /pol/ bf is just a meme. It would be strange in reality.

As to the lewds, probably better not to lewd too much…there's stds and scary stuff out there.


 No.403640

>>403632

Nah religious and life outlook ideologies. He was a vegan. His politic views were more left leaning but not far left.

I'll stay a virgin till I die at this rate.


 No.403660

i just need to write to get it off my chest

about an hour ago i blocked and deleted my bf from discord, we knew eachother since mid january, one day i was feeling just lonely and there was a cuteboys thread on 4chan’s soc dedicated to wholesomeness and it was perfect since i hate how that board is just full of hookup shit… it was a massive coincidence therefore that i made my post there and he came across it, since he doesnt browse 4chan often.

He is brazillian, has italian roots (we constantly talked about how if only he lived in italy and we wouldnt have so much distance between us), i fell in love with him in the first few words we said, and so did he. It was my first time ever talking to someone in this way, my first time getting all those compliments, my first time having my heart jump and feel all warm from him…

The first few weeks were probably the highlight of my life, i never knew how this felt, it feels so nice to be wanted, to have someone waiting for you, to know that you are making them happy by just being there with them…

Sometimes i do feel like i am too clingy, but at the time, i wasnt the only one, he was very shy though, he wouldnt send me many pictures, just mostly his eyes, hiding his complete face. Before all of this, i thought of myself as shy but i realised that i sent him a lot of pictures, only for him to keep saying that he is too shy and ugly, but he just wasnt ugly, he was the prettiest boy i ever saw, for him, video calls and voice chats were out of the question, so the most we got to were audio recordings and even then, he didnt talk about anything, when i said i loved his voice he would decline it and the most he sent me was him reading stories in portugese, being very self conscious about his english and how it doesnt sound good with his accent (but it still does, and i loved it)

i felt like something was missing, like why am i with this beautiful boy, but he doesnt want to share his beauty with me, despite me telling him how much i love him and complimenting him (this might sound like i was faking to get to him, but he was really beautiful..idk what to say ;_;)

this got us in a few arguments, because i was and am an idiot who kept bringing it up… maybe eventually he would have changed, but im an idiot and i fucked everything up.

Then he started his school year in mid february and this had a big impact on our relationship because he didnt have the whole day anymore, and i had school again too (we met during a period with holidays for both of us), which meant i got very little time with him and he started seeming distant…

this just spiraled downwards to a week ago when i had a mental breakdown where i recorded myself shouting at him as to why he is playing hard to get with me and then just breaking down to tears completely and confessing everything i had on my mind.. (when i pressed record, i never anticipated i was going to get that severe and broken)

this was probably the last straw and he said (like he already did in some weeks before this) that we should really only stay friends because this whole thing is affecting both of us and if we continue, i know im only gonna get more persistent and as a result sad and depressed…

so we acted as friends and like i predicted with myself, i just couldnt do it and i started telling him that i loved him after just 4 days of trying to pretend that being a friend is fine with me….

and now we are here today, where i deleted him because i was so broken and he told me that it would be easiest to forget everything.. i hate myself and i hate him in a way too… i just feel like i cant explain everything well enough over text..

it was my first relationship, LDR, yet still.. my first heartbreak

i feel so shitty these days

i wrote this to maybe try to relax myself but i dont think it helped

if anyone would like to maybe talk about it, or just be a friend or whatever… i need company, i feel alone

Hector#3855


 No.403673

>>403660

Kinda strange of you to write me off and remove me in the few seconds we started speaking friend

I'd be willing to chat but you just peaced out


 No.403683

>>403660

Sorry to hear such a sad story. Don't get bitter over it, you had some beautiful time and this experience will make you more ready for the next one. You can recover and learn from this.

Now to the more critical part of the analysis. It sounds like you were pushing him too hard. For a person that shy you need to give him his time and have some patience. You had only known for weeks and you were demanding things from him that he was clearly very uncomfortable with. If he is shy like I am shy you made him really feel conflicted and hurt by asking him things he *could not* deliver.

I can't understand why you felt such hurry, you got all lifetime to sort things out. Patience is even more needed in a LDR.

I think the "lesson" here is to take into account the personality of your partner.


 No.403698

File: 3683f92d2da07d0⋯.jpg (316.11 KB, 1024x768, 4:3, alcololomahol.jpg)

>>403683

10/10 post, could sign as is. Had somewhat of an LDR (I guess) going on with a qt boy. He kept asking me to move to his city and make other demands that - at the time - I could not meet. Also he kept telling me to come to his city but he won't to mine and that at some point really annoyed me why should I be the only one to put effort into a relationship? It really can hurt when people behave like that. Especially if you have caught some feeliums for them.

Anyways, the relationship is ruined (for now, maybe indefinitely, I don't know - still got to talk to the parents of the person who escalated everything to the point of no return) …

Pic somewhat relates, my friends were coming all the way from Germany by car and brought lots of alcohol, which I would have wanted to share with that boy. The irony of it all is that now I don't drink anymore, and I have like literally 4 bottles of whiskey or so in my closet)

I wish he was here rn, we'd have so much fun..snowmobile, alcohol, sauna, and stuff

What I don't get, why always everybody assumes it is ruined with that one particular partner? It might not have ended well - but does it have to be the total end? Like instead of throwing things away that you built, maybe try sitting your ass down and talking things through? Preferably sober

Planned obsolesce seem to have already made it into relationships…


 No.403704

>>403683

he kept promising me, he kept saying that he will, also i should make something very clear that i didnt mention - he told me that he doesnt want me to see his pictures because he was afraid of what i would think (on other social media of his, he did post his pics, because he “doesnt care what other people think, but he cares what i think“) which is what got me into being more and more pushy i guess…

he was not shy, i dont understand just what cruelty is that the guy who actually loved him was the only one he didnt want to see him : (


 No.403705

>>403673

im very sorry, i was probably very stressed out (i still am, bit less than yesterday), would you be willing to give it another go ;_;?


 No.403709

>>403698

>a finnfag who doesn't drink

man he really fucked you up didn't he?

>snowmobile, sauna and stuff

why is you country so goddamn comfy anon?

>What I don't get, why always everybody assumes it is ruined with that one particular partner?

sometimes it's just easy to close the door on something than to just leave yourself open to the hurt of hoping he comes back and then reliving all the pain every day he doesn't


 No.403715

File: dba0d801880e828⋯.jpg (945 KB, 2560x1440, 16:9, hedio.jpg)

Impurities , mixed and murky filled with utter disdain

conjecture for body and mind

implicit denial for the inconsistencies thrust upon my soul by the almighty

impressions of the implicit lie of purity were it has none

love were it has never been gifted to the hand of fellow patron

impatience with the over arching walls of dignitary and latent

no mercy …

none ..


 No.403718

>>403709

I liked him very much, yes. Even though he never seemed to really believe it for some reason, but he was my first. Like the first person I ever had any "romantic" relationship with in those 24 years of my existence. I'm turning 25 this year . And I'm no finnanon, I'm bavariananon. At least the flag colors are the same.

I don't drink cause I got spiked, then ended up cheating on him. Don't really remember what I did that night. But I think I somehow ended up telling his name to this other boy (who was a bit pissed at me, because apparently I was making out with his love interest on those drugs they put in my beer). His love interest wasn't interested in him, but was interested in me and it was all in all a bad situation already. So he had nothing better to do than to take pictures of me making out with his love interest (while totally on something I never consented to or intended taking) and sending those to my love interest. And telling everybody in the club my love interests contact info and "tell him his bf is cheating on him" - basically doxxing him, because you know, it's not bad enough that he's getting cheated on.

Anyways I don't know if I talked to that boy I was "dating" at the time that night. It would be very bad if I had, and I think I did. I can't remember much. Felt rather sober (was cutting down on alcohol really hard, because did not want to be alcoholic in relationship) from what I still remember, but didn't want to go home because of the music and even though I felt sober and clear headed, I was not. At all. Ended up fighting with the guy who doxxed the boy i wanted a relationship with. I didn't want to fight. Was very pacified in a way. He kept trying to fight me. Did not feel any pain. Was getting angry, but smart enough to go home and not hurt anybody. Then ended up having a mental breakdown in my bathroom. Woke up the next day feeling rather okish, no memory what so ever, and a dent in my bathroom door.

Well…then came a month of depression, diarrhea, suicidal thoughts, vomiting, sweating, freezing, being unable to drink too much, no appetite, mania, insanity, obsessiveness - withdrawal I guess later, and only then I started to feel better - a hangover usually doesn't last that long.

Thing is, I remembered the cheating but nothing else. So I told him, because I thought it would be appropriate thing to do, I didn't want to keep secrets from him and I guess I wanted to talk things through with him. He blocked me out almost immediately. He did not end up coming to Bavaria with me he was really excited about that, and even though I was against it at the time because of homophobic comments of my brother, who I know is not the sanest in the head (but nowadays, a nice person, compared to how he used to be) I was excited too , and I missed him for Christmas and New Years and such and I miss him now.

I guess after all of this it's ok to be fucked up a bit. Also my roommate shamed me today cause I said I don't drink, but I had two small tastes of a 10yo whisky my friends brought from Bavaria. The shaming does help in not drinking. I also notice those two "fingers" of alcohol already nowadays. What a lightweight I have become.

I tried to talk to the guy who escalated it all (his love interest gave me his number), but he does not say anything. Saw him later in the same bar I got spiked in, but didn't talk to him because honestly I don't like that guy. It's sad, he ain't bad looking at all, but I would not put my dick in him cause he's an absolutely detestable character sometimes and threatens to get people stabbed and generally seems to believe he's king of the world or something .


 No.403719

>>403718

> why is you country so goddamn comfy anon?

Not my country. I'm Bavarian. I just study here and like it. Maybe I will get naturalized some day, because honestly, my home country is going down the drain right now. You just have to keep occupied due to the latent insanity that lurks around you when it's always cold and dark. Some of my study mates started to "turn" on each other after the second winter and everybody was edgy…its better now, we've gotten used to the dark. More or less.

> sometimes it's just easy to close the door on something than to just leave yourself open to the hurt of hoping he comes back and then reliving all the pain every day he doesn't

I'll hope he'll come back none the less. [Spoiler] I could've f*cked that boy I made out with. That night, and the day after, and the day after that. I did not. He is now back in his home country and won't be here for another year. So, in the end, I'm the fool - I just ended up losing the person I loved because I'm too honest. Should have just kept my mouth shut and pretended everything was OK. Even though nothing was. [/spoiler]

Even if he never will, still gonna hope. I know I gotta move on and all, and there's "other fish in the sea", but I wan this one. Might be childish, but that's how it is.


 No.403761

>>403542

>some sort of brain tumor, they died within 6 weeks of finding out. she found out far too late,

That's awful, were you close to her?

>I'll comfort you anon, you play any vidya?

I play a lot of SNES games. I played Sim City earlier today, it holds up well for how basic it is.


 No.403766

>>403761

We were very close, she was like a second mother to me and my brothers. My actual mother survived cancer, she spent a lot of time away from us getting treatment (we live overseas from nearest hospital), and left us in the care of second mother (dad is uessles).

But I have a funny relationship with death, I lose someone close to me every year, someone I know dies every month, (a Firends dad has just died, as well as a close friend to my brother).

I’ve also been very depressed for a very long time, and have trouble having any empathy for myself which actuality works to my benefit, this will be my 15th funeral, (21btw) I’ve learned the art of not crying, the last 4 were all grandparents, all 4 in 3 years.

I cope by convincing myself death is a fate far better than life, I convince myself an after life exists where everyone I love is celebrating around a table, laughing at me when I cry. I’m happy for my loved ones that pass, sometimes jealous lol. (I even hear they have half life 3 :O)

Honestly, I’m considering practicing Christianity, I was brought up catholic, baptised and the rest, I would start going to church weekly but the nostalgia From going as a kid is far too fucking painful, it’s the one thing that puts me off, everything just comes together and my emotions pour out.

In hindsight maybe I’m not the best for advice haha, from proof reading, none of this sounds healthy. I dunno, we’ll all be dead soon lad, does it really matter how/when?

Good luck.


 No.403800

>>403766

May we have a conversation anon ?

Reactionary_Prot#6376


 No.403802

>>403800

About what?


 No.403811

File: e88ee68c809ad50⋯.jpg (2.49 MB, 4032x3024, 4:3, 5b7c60e1903f3.jpg)

>>403802

Finding fellow Faithful fags is uncommon for me is all . I'm often left speaking with heretics and immodest ones ..

it is up to you


 No.403823

>>403811

we have talked before, we didn't get along.


 No.403835

>>403823

Are you that guy from Jersey ?


 No.403836

>>403823

if you are get the hell away from me


 No.403872

>>403835

>>403836

No? Bristol

Kaspr#6887

You were talking about taking out revenge on people for literally nothing, you're a serious nut case who needs help but wont accept it.

You just keep digging your hole, And I can't be fucked for it.


 No.403880

fuck me. i fought for the same thing again with my mother today. we have had this same fight for almost two months now. every day its the same - YOU CANT GET INTO A GOOD UNIVERSITY IF YOU ARE SO LAZY!!! JUST TRY HARDER, OTHERWISE YOU WILL END UP LIKE ME AND YOUR AND YOUR FATHER. ITS EITHER UNIVERSITY OR A TAXI DRIVER. YOU CHOOSE

i cant deal with this shit anymore. i wonder if i should kms right now. i try to do the things she wants me to, but she always keep shouting - every day a new topic. it seems like it never has an end to it all. im just waiting till i turn 18 so i can leave this wretched place and pursue a career i actually want, one i actually chose.

i cant go on like this. i really cant. this is draining me more then lack of sleep could ever hope to achieve. everyone tells me i cant achieve what i want, especially with "the way i am now" and im starting to believe them. i have to deal with so many things right now. i cant do this, i cant. i feel my humanity slowly disappearing into this soul-crushing system, and my dreams being piled up with the rest. "The odds are stacked against you. You cant win. You cant do anything. You were born in a shithole and you will always lose because of this fact." i dont want to believe that, but yet im so tempted to… to taste the sweet misery of nihilism, start drinking, and never do anything.

i dont know who i should trust anymore.


 No.403882

My friends are discussing about going to the big city, but the only person for whom I'd go there hates me now ;_;

At least I learned the drink probably wasn't even intended for me, I had mine next to that of a girl and drank hers by accident, somebody must have wanted to drug her. Somehow it makes me feel a little better, knowing that whoever drugged me didn't get what he wanted. But as to what else happened that night, still no idea…

>>403880

Most parents do not seem to know, for a fact, that depending on where you are, apprenticeship and later trade might be more beneficial towards a person today than university we don't need any more gender studies majors that don't contribute to society but welders are in short demand .

Don't start drinking, you'll just go through life on autopilot and not notice who you are hurting. Then should you stop you'll just feel terrible about the things you have done while under the influence and feel shit about yourself. Been there, done that.

Have you tried trusting in yourself lately?


 No.403886

>>403882

ive always trusted no one but myself, but recently because it has been repeated to me so many times, i cant help but doubt myself. i fear ill soon start believing them.


 No.403887

File: df1f61ceab8bc13⋯.jpg (43.61 KB, 726x683, 726:683, putty tutty.jpg)

>>403872

1. Medicated

2. Multiple doctors

3. Hospitalized for better treatment at 13

4. Why do you even care if I go after anyone who isn't you , I've already mentioned having tons of awful experiences with people who are immoral and treated me poorly which no one did anything about (Pedophiles , Zoohphiles , necrophiliacs , drug addicts , incest people , people who would commit a homicide or terrorist attack)

why do you care if I hurt any one of those pieces of shit , answer me …

why ?


 No.403888

>>403872

now if you excuse me I've gotta go clean my house


 No.403890

File: 27ec6612eebdd9e⋯.jpg (134.69 KB, 500x628, 125:157, peace out.jpg)

Whats a good suicide method? Don't say guns cause I dont have any


 No.403891

>>403890

Their is an entire meme for good suicide methods , you can look it up if you want. it even lists places to buy the equipment for it


 No.403892

>>403890

it goes into steps and everything


 No.403894

File: c620168ee2c1802⋯.png (327.02 KB, 650x456, 325:228, CUMAMA15.png)

>>403890

also shotguns in the U.S. normally cost anything from 180$-200$


 No.403901

File: 249f120c02da779⋯.jpg (35.26 KB, 480x480, 1:1, 13266760_788296787968350_1….jpg)

Heritage of ill fated composition , perverted with lackluster continuity implicit in morale dilemma

Societal heretic born from his Pyre as he is reignited impervious cycle with his flame come bird of flame and ashes

Improper yet insinuated by his placid mind given free fluency and articulation from his impassive masters

Haven of implicit devoid motive and rhetoric , conjoined hesitant over congealed unwholesome passion were devoid meets mental inventive or Hereditary meets unHereditary while impassive conjoins with it's passive ..

Classical derivatives ejected to mechanical automation introverted by plausible mistakes of unconventional cosmic creator


 No.403935

>>403887

Because you can't hurt them?

You make yourself angry over literally nothing.

Being insane isn't an excuse to be a dumbass. Learn to block people, take some time off the internet.

Don't try to dox and ruin someone's life because they say "Perhaps if you lost some weight you'd be cuter'

I'm not going to respond to you, you live for the attention.


 No.403936

File: 1cb6585e1730f13⋯.jpg (597.9 KB, 1600x900, 16:9, comaby1.jpg)

>>403935

You just did respond , I've said here that I worked on my weight more than once for serious amounts of time for several months. Running , Pushups , Situps etc, people like you are why I did it , belittling me and making commentaries over how I'm unstable or incapable on handling myself due to my mental health.

Also

>Muh lives for Attention

STFU ! I Just spent most of today cleaning my house and making it look nice !

Maybe you could show some respect someone who has somewhat of an issue other than yourself or is that not possible since I'm incapacitated to a degree your not capable of understanding ?? Seriously show some respect to someone who isn't 100% NT and maybe you won't look like an asshole.

Also I have claimed about attacking my enemies on several occasions out of spite , if I do attack them it is rare (if ever)


 No.403937

>>403935

Now I'm gonna go work on my house some more and maybe practice some drawing ..

I'm tired of hearing little mosquitoes like you everywhere I go ..


 No.403939

>>403936

>>403937

lol cringe


 No.403940

>>403936

anon, you probably will ignore this but the problem really isn't any illness that you have. it's also not anything that has happened to you up to this point. there are plenty of boys here with all kinds of issues and some who have suffered greatly. the still make friends and find love because people are willing to look past those things and even respect someone who does their best to be more than their problems. the problem is your ego and the belief that you're owed anything. acting like that makes people not want to be around you. being vindictive towards others makes people not want to be around you. anyone can become a better person if they truly want it and i hope you do someday because you really have a lot going for you.

>Seriously show some respect to someone who isn't 100% NT

where do you think you are my dude? this is one of the most autistic places on the internet


 No.403948

And I'm lonely again. Was nice having them around. They left me a bottle of Glenmorangie 10yo. Anybody want to drink away the loneliness? I still don't really drink …

>>403890

Better not to commit suicide, even if it's a hard thing to do.

>>403940

This, tbh. Now let us "REEEEEEEEE" in unison.


 No.403960

File: b391f985841f864⋯.gif (898.5 KB, 487x560, 487:560, 1546684780787-1.gif)

>when he just wants to be frens

How do I stop these feelings I have for him


 No.403966

my sister did some pretty fucked up stuff when I was a kid


 No.403969

>>403948

Why even keep thos bottlea around? Just a throw the out since you don't drink.


 No.403970

>>403969

*Those bottles


 No.403977

File: 2bf2e829d6949c4⋯.jpg (346.07 KB, 827x1223, 827:1223, jebus crisp6.jpg)

>>403940

1. Never said I was owed anything , my life has been full of suffering and I've learned to fully accept that I must help myself without others supporting me

2. Board Autism isn't the same as an actual diagnoses , though thank you for an implying that everyone on an img board instantly has a mental disorder like some imbecilic fool

3. I've taught myself multiple traits without anyone helping me at all including singing , writing , drawing , speaking other languages and improving my physical health

4. I've said multiple times on here my main problems are as listed

Anxiety Disorder

Aspergers

Clinical Depression

and ADHD symptoms

All of which are medically listed as disorders yes (so are all fetishes just so you are aware) they just are not classified as clinical insanity. I'm very much more happy and capable than I was 4-5 years ago and just because of my disorders does not mean I'm incapable of being a functional adult

5. The reason I'm overweight is because of certain medications I took for my anxiety when I was younger because of abuse from Teachers and students (since it made me more hungry) , after I left school it led into a downward spiral of me handing pictures at 3-4 am for random people online almost ever single night straight until my friend and I started working out around 17-18 and by that point I could probably run a 1K I ran some days till I had cuts on my feet …

anything else you feel like saying fam ??


 No.403979

File: 1e6326980c7db34⋯.jpg (95.07 KB, 756x864, 7:8, inclingo11.jpg)

File: 00865d5e7f8e6bc⋯.png (636.51 KB, 1360x822, 680:411, inclingo10.png)

>>403948

>Frog posting

>2019

When will you idiots die ??


 No.403980

>>403894

Hm that's pretty cheap, I'll look into that.

>>403948

I'm done, they don't like me.


 No.403983

File: c539c0899c3fa05⋯.gif (2.85 MB, 580x328, 145:82, jebus crisp.gif)

>>403980

dude I was joking , that post seemed like shitposting don't actually kill yourself. I'll never forgive myself if someone dies on a live stream due to some advice I've given them


 No.403985

>>403890

>yfw there are people out there too retarded to know how to kill themselfs

Wow. Almost seems like a cry for attention 🤔


 No.403986

>>403980

Go to a shooting range say 'uwu can i shoot some guns please?'

'sure that'll be $20 please'

>quickly tun gun on yourself

If they stop you before you can pull the trigger then you didn't want to kill yourself enough.

or 'boom' it works xD

Good luck


 No.403989

File: 0df2b44317ea34f⋯.jpg (6.74 KB, 228x221, 228:221, deadinside.jpg)

>>403969

[spoiler] I'm not just going to throw away a 10 year old bottle of Glenmorangie. Or two small bottles of 12 year old special editions Glenmorangies (it's the pioneers pack). I think I will give it to friends. That way it is not wasted, and I am not tempted to become a drunkard again…especially since my friends already opened the bottle and tasted it…

[/spoiler]

Because it would be respectless to my friends to throw away something that they have paid good money for. It at least has a right to be consumed, even if it is not me who consumes it. There are enough students in this town who will gladly drink it, but I think I will give it to the Russian, he became a lot nicer when his wife finally came here . Giving it to the other students would also be a waste, they would not know how to enjoy it, they would just drink it to get fucked up.

>>403979

Don't worry, I'm already dead inside.

> using Florida as an example

hardly relevant.

>>403980

>>403985

Hard to say if somebody actually wants to kill themselves. I know people who actually put a gun to their head, and it did not go off. Not nice to not take their problems seriously. The information is out there, but it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

>>403986

And here I thought I had a fucked up mind. You know what damage that will do to the staff? They will need a lot of therapy after that. Be a bit more considerate, please.

>>403960

Be happy he still wants to be frens, I wish I was still frens with that one boy. People talk and do really dumb shit when drunk. I'm not sure, but I think a lot came out very wrong that night. The shame is real. .

You'll get better. It takes time, but you'll get better.


 No.404018

>>403989

What does it matter? You'll be dead. all emotion and morals cease to exist. If you care so much, why not try and get help?

Honestly, if you don't agree that death is just an eternal stage of nothingness, like the period between falling asleep and dreaming, then I don't understand the rational behind killing yourself.

Life and living is the only thing certain about existence you may as well get as much experience before stepping into the next stage right?

I dunno, that's how why I find killing yourself to be so pathetic in like 99% scenarios, its very difficult to justify.

>I can't drink whiskey with a cute boy, where is my shotgun?

Seems like a bit of an insult to people around you, ever worry about that? if you care so much about some rando gun guy.

>You didn't love me, now I am dead.

You're very selfish not thinking about the happiness of the person you claim to be sooo in love with.


 No.404019

>>404018

btw In response to

>And here I thought I had a fucked up mind. You know what damage that will do to the staff? They will need a lot of therapy after that. Be a bit more considerate, please.

———————————–

Sorry I sound so angry, I really dislike suicide ;^)

And you are coming off as a bit of an attention seeker.

This thread is for help, not giving up, so just spit out (from what I understand?)

I love you xo


 No.404023

File: 57feeedbfa6fedd⋯.png (191.85 KB, 501x445, 501:445, dismissed.png)

>says he is busy and doesn't feel up to doing anything together

>conversations are a complete drag and nothing I do fixes it

I thinking of giving up with this guy. I mean I tried. If he doesn't message me at all by the end of the week I'm just going to let it die. I'm the only one trying to make something work here and he doesn't seem to care at all.


 No.404026

>>403989

Isn't giving you bottles of alcohol the actual disrespectful thing from your friends? Don't they know about you situation? Shouldn't they be worries that their "gift" could tempt you into betraying yourself?


 No.404027

>>404023

I sometimes feel the same way in my LDR. You should just straight up tell him how you feel about it. Much like you wrote it here. People do mistakes and it would be unfair if you didn't give him a chance for mending the situation.


 No.404038

>>404027

oh are you two doing better?

>>404023

have you ever known him to be prone to depression or anything like that? sometimes bad shit happens and it's hard to keep it together even if you really care about someone


 No.404047

>>404018

What comes after life, if there is an afterlife, or if you just rot, it is not known. I agree, no reason to suicide, who tells you it will be better? maybe you just wake up in a parallel universe or something and it's the same bullshit all over again

>>404019

I am not >>403977.

>>404026

Maybe. I don't know. I don't care either, they have respected my decision not to drink so far, and I already found somebody who is very willing to take that bottle off my hands. I don't know how much they know about my situation, they might only know I got drugged, but not the whole rest around it, so it might not seem like that big of a deal to them.

>>404023

Better to say something than to just walk out without an explanation. Most people have no idea what they are doing wrong until they are told.


 No.404051

>been talking to a qtboi over Discord last week, lot of lewd talking that we both seemed to enjoy a lot

>vanished since Friday. Haven't been blocked, he just hasn't been online

What are the chances I've been ghosted? :(


 No.404070

>>404038

>oh are you two doing better?

Not all that much but yes, I think. I guess people can't have relationship with passionate love all the time. We both have it hard. Soo I don't try to force in anything and we simply enjoy each other whenever its a good time for that.

I don't know how long is >>404023 together with his boy.. But after something over a year of being with mine, I can say with confidence that while it seems that his boy is now failing him, there will come time when he will fail his boy too. He should see if they can accept each other, even with flaws. Time for fixing flaws can come later, when ya'll feeling better.


 No.404085

File: 6b786d96bba1b81⋯.png (132.32 KB, 198x328, 99:164, spiral of sadness.png)

>>404027

>You should just straight up tell him how you feel about it. Much like you wrote it here

I tried that near the start. I guess I could attempt it again. Its not really a "mistake" more like he shows a lack of interest/doesn't care. I'm the only one starting the conversations we have everyday. He never starts it on it own, and often times my messages get ignored.

>>404038

>have you ever known him to be prone to depression or anything like that?

He says he is, or generally has a lack of energy because of work. I don't know if its completely that and whether he likes it if I keep trying to start something everyday with some simple questions.

>>404047

>Better to say something than to just walk out without an explanation. Most people have no idea what they are doing wrong until they are told.

I've considered that. But I'm not fully "walking away", just not going to respond unless he tries to start something himself. I've tried discussing this before with him and he just says he doesn't feel like it whenever I try to have a conversation.

>>404070

>I don't know how long is together with his boy

Almost a month ago I started messaging him. It has not been very long. I don't have a problem with someone "failing me" as long as they still want to try and work things out. My problem is mainly that it feels like there is a lack of interest/effort from his side and that nothing will come of this besides wasted time.


 No.404088

>>404085

Things are not often as they seem. What can be seen as a lack of effort by the outside observer, might be an underlying problem otherwise. You can't really say from the outside how much effort people are putting into a relationship, what might be seen as marginal effort by some might be a lot to ask of the person whose actually trying to better themselves for their partner.

In hindsight…personally I had more issues than I would like to admit, I just never really had to face them until I had the chance of getting with somebody - decided against that back then and still regret it, but I would not want somebody I love end up in a relationship that I cannot ensure is non-hurtful. It would have been easier to just talk things through…I think it was both sides in the end that took actions that destroyed the chances of relationship, sadly.

I know if somebody would stop messaging me that before I have gotten messages from I would either get worried, or feel like I've been dropped (wouldn't be the first time).


 No.404100

File: f54de470b7a81dd⋯.gif (997.53 KB, 500x300, 5:3, daaz.gif)


 No.404149

I feel like mediocrity is the true curse. You obviously do not get to cash in on all the perks of excelling at something yet at the same time you can't hope for pity.

Sure being fat, small-dicked, short or whatever else may suck in a number of ways but at least there's sort of a fetish-niche for these kinds of things but whoever has heard of someone actively seeking out someone of medium anything? I sure haven't and the worst thing is, that all these things apply to me.


 No.404158

>>404100

When are you going to pick up your Nobel prize for that discovery? I expect a full report and a master thesis!

>>404026

Well, I gave it to some roastie I know who is writing her thesis, and now my home is free of such stuff. She is very happy for it, I am very happy for it, everybody is happy and I'm rid of the damn thing.

It was difficult to determine who to give the bottle though, as most people would just get shitfaced with it in this town and not enjoy it. I don't want to support that kind of alcoholism. Would have been very tempting just to drink away my sorrows on this shit, but it makes me aggressive and I don't want that.


 No.404159

>>404149

The nice thing about not being an outlier in one way or another is that nobody is seeing you for anything but you. You're not that smol guy, or the chubby boi, or the cutie with the horsecock. You're a human being and none of your attributes can overshadow you.


 No.404161

>>404158

Nice going, mang.


 No.404182

File: 5e5e5f8e3c14325⋯.png (36.95 KB, 390x329, 390:329, BANZAI BUCKAROO TWO1.png)

>Be Anon

>Have Childhood friend

>Love him greatly

>Spend every day possible together

>Have many interests together

>Live in the same town

>Start to break apart

>Childhood friend spends time with people you hate

>You start feeling unhappy spending time with him

>Eventually you have some drama were he locks you in his backyard with your brother and nobody comes for 10 min with you having to force your way out

>Middle School

>Denies doing any of that

>Makes up stuff about you

>Has to be "cool kid" everyone likes

>Stops speaking to him

>Teen Years

>Hears he's fag

>isn't surprised by him being flamboyant asf

>Goes and starts speaking to him again

>Hears other person is fag

>Also someone you knew growing up (maybe longer)

>Both are hanging out

>Denies doing anything apart from friendship stuff

>Starts hearing about him doing a "gay straight alliance" ?

>Asks if he knows anyone

>Starts ironically doing stuff with him (somehow)

>Says he liked you growing up (lies)

>Says he likes your body (lies)

>Says he has multiple sexual partners

>Says he is an open relationship

>Occasionally comes over for sex and talking

>Times become less as he becomes less wholesome

>Eventually tells him your tired of his crap

>he half assed says "sorry"

>Tells him your happy track bus hit his car and stop speaking to him

>Speaks to parents

>Turns out he is visiting art school for college

>He also is still spending time with other fag kid from Town

Alas poor yorick , I knew him ~

Can't wait until this piece of shit kills someone or himself , fucking karma man XD


 No.404183

>be me

>18yo twink

>can't get hormones

Just imagine my pain.


 No.404186

File: 2dc06af42c1755c⋯.png (846.55 KB, 1280x720, 16:9, spice and salt.png)

>>404183

Discord ?

Reactionary_Prot#6376


 No.404265

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HeCPlBxhg8

The absolute state of my life and previous relationships…


 No.404321

No body to talk with, can someone give me some company? Very lonely here


 No.404336

>>404321

Reactionary_Prot#6376


 No.404351

File: 7d29de25b8b5a49⋯.jpg (6.02 KB, 184x184, 1:1, e0008986d462680af20825c118….jpg)

>tfw sad

>tfw no trap gf with nice thighs i can lube up and fuck to make me feel better for a while


 No.404369

File: 2f2cd2a1fb478b4⋯.gif (265.95 KB, 500x281, 500:281, 2f2cd2a1fb478b454da4a49e80….gif)

No matter how far away you might think it is, your bf is out there. Cold, lonely, maybe even scared. And without a loverboy hunk like you to snatch him up and cuddle him. The only way you get him is if you stop moping and get moving! I believe in you.


 No.404397

File: e3aee7ef09797cb⋯.jpg (27.25 KB, 732x552, 61:46, RanAnime.jpg)

>tfw bf just told me he doesn't have romantic feelings for me

>tfw bf told me he still loves me but as a friend (platonic love)

>tfw bf told me we are just 2 friends having fun together

>tfw bf started avoiding kissess and cuddling as much as possible

>tfw confused

Did I do something wrong already?!

Why don't he just tell me?!

Is he still afraid to open up to me after all these times I told him to say whatever he wants to say and I won't get mad at him?! What the fuck should I do?!

Should I apologize to him?! Should I figure it out myself?! , Or should I just shut the fuck up and adapt with this?!

Maybe I should kill myself because I don't think I will be missed by him anyway , im just a friend to everyone around me right?! I can't get closer than being "just a friend" to anyone , ain't i?! Maybe because I don't deserve to be someone's close friend , anyway who'd want to be close friends with a weak failure like me?! -Im just a weak empath that was found to be used by narcissistic and sociopathic manipulative persons , and soon I'll be someone's obeying slave , im not worth love by any means , I just deserve suffering and pain , because im a weak person who can't even adapt with his own life issues

Honestly , im not sure if this relationship will work or not , but I hope that he kills me if he plan on abandoning me someday, because im not ready for another heartbreak , im done with this


 No.404399

File: 3b622e30c59c951⋯.jpg (265.54 KB, 1342x1920, 671:960, c6.jpg)

>>404397

When I was younger their was a relationship which lasted for maybe a couple months with this girl.

She said that she loved me very much , at some point we stopped speaking an argument and than she offered to get back together with me , it was odd..

I was also very stupid , so I asked her too marry me. She said yes and it made me so happy I checked over marriage laws in my state and did so much research to set it up. After some point I started figuring plans to visit her and she wouldn't budge , it got more and more distant until at some point during a car ride when I was speaking to her she said she didn't feel interested in me and she did it out of pity.

Wasn't really angry at that point though it did hurt and it fully made me understand that people can be cruel out of petty self interest while claiming they had >"yours in mind"

don't be sad anon ? alright :D ???


 No.404400

>>404397

Reactionary_Prot#6376

also add me if you fee like talkin Egypt anon :D


 No.404408

>>404369

Is this a message to somebody, or just a general motivation speech?


 No.404455

File: 7ad650ad3c2f9f6⋯.gif (407.08 KB, 640x481, 640:481, 1551014806200.gif)

>>404408

General motivation of course! Follow your dreams, and find that cutie you've been waiting for. I'd be a part of the mope a dope crowd if not for the fact that I went out and found mine. Granted, I got lucky.


 No.404457

>>404455

What to do if you were lucky enough to find him but then so unlucky as to lose him permanently?


 No.404461

Same as the rest of us anon, if you cant get him back you just be depressi with the rest of us


 No.404463

>>404457

Conquer life in his name. Raze every Babylon. Kick the doors in on Troy. Get the best kind of revenge. Total control.


 No.404465

>>404463

i don't want revenge tho.i just want him back ;_;


 No.404466

>>404465

Iktf bro.


 No.404470

File: 37b8678da8f3ba6⋯.jpg (47.27 KB, 900x900, 1:1, 67b96fcb.jpg)

>>404465

Wanting him back won't bring him back. But the world owes you for what it took. Take something from the world, and make it your own.


 No.404473

>>404470

I don't want anything other than him.


 No.404479

>>404473

How did you end up not being together with him?


 No.404505

File: 31156c6ef26c21e⋯.jpg (7.35 KB, 300x199, 300:199, Betweentheyes.jpg)

This just hurts too much. Not only did that little shit ruin my chances for a relationship with the cutest boy ever, and by extension that boys possible relationship, but now he's engaged to the person who I ended up making out with while totally shitfaced.

They made their relationship problems mine. "Oh could you kiss me cause I want to make it clear to him that we're not together anymore". And my shitfaced ass has nothing better to do to comply.

I'm disappointed. With myself, with my friends who convinced me to go to that gay fucking party in the first place (I would have preferred to go into another bar…"It's fine you won't fuck up", yeah right, what could possibly go wrong going into a bar while there's a lot of qts, some of which are into you, loads of alcohol and sadly also drug abuse, and an immense amount of hornyness?), with the boy I made out with and above all with that manipulative arsehole who not only manipulated me into basically doxxing who I love, but then also threatened to "get me stabbed" and do some psychoterror shit towards me while I was totally shitfaced, forced me to talk to who I love why very shitfaced and angry, and effectively made me ruin any chance I had at a relationship by pouring oil into the fire. And as shit as it sounds, a bit with the boy I love, for the way it was handled in the end I am very sorry towards him though, he should have never been put through this .

Pic relates. I have never wanted to shoot myself as much as right now, preferably with a model like in the picture. Fuck this. I've had enough of this town. I've had enough of this planet. I have had enough of the humans inhabiting this planet. Fuck my life.

[spoiler] It might have been possible to save any chances by simply pretending I don't remember anything, but I did remember some parts…mostly the cheating, and that this little shit tried to fight me constantly. It is an enigma why I refused, because right now I would have some serious appetite to the beat the living hell out of that crappy bastard … but I don't like violence, and I don't want to be "that" guy, so I have no idea what to do now.

I told the boy I love myself, that something had happened, but when I tried to call him and talk things through he just blocked me out. Looking back, I should have just visited him and then talked things through with him, but it was all so fucked up… [/spoiler]

Fuck my crappy live, just had to get this off my chest. I don't know why it hurts so much. Maybe it's because if they had not ended up together again, it would have been an equal amount of pain for both of us and it would have been well deserved for both of us. But this way, he just got to behave completely shit, fuck with two peoples life and have no repercussion what so ever. Nothing what was done that night was OK. No from him, not from me, not from the person I cheated with. Nothing. That ain't right. Humans are garbage.


 No.404506

File: 30a8ede76fa1285⋯.jpg (194.2 KB, 972x2008, 243:502, doorknob_jap.jpg)

>>404505

I leave for just under a few hours and here you are, sobbbing into your keyboard and wanting to bite the bullet kraut style. You might like ladyboys, but you're still a man. Whoever gave up on you, whatever you did, none of that matters. The past is behind you. I keep telling you, time and time again, start taking matters into your own hands. You're gonna have to wade through the nymphomaniacs. It's a common problem with our taste in partners. Tell 'em to swerve. Every pub crawl, every minute spent here, every day spent searching will bring you closer to the real girlyboy you spent the rest of your life with in the end.

Or, as a last ditch effort, pour your heart out. If you won't take my advice and move on, then go for the hail mary. Sure, dying of embarrassment is better than suicide, but then again your tunnel vision is unbecoming. Get a grip. I know it's hard. I waited five long, arduous and painful years to find my match. And that's after years of being another horse on the dick carousel for vicious, spiteful suffragette-tier spinster-in-training bitches.That's why I'm saying to cease this nonsense and strap in. It's a long ride.


 No.404529

>>404506

Hey it's a stylish way to go. But how do you know, beforehand, who is a nympho and who is not? It's not like I have an intelligence agency at my disposal…

Anyways, thanks, I needed that. Though, I do not crawl pubs anymore, it is unbecoming for my liver (I've started to notice, when your organs start hurting the next day, it is not good). I am confused though, who should I pour my heart out to? What actually is your advice?

There's a very qt boy where I live, but I'm not sure if he's gay or has a partner, but damn cute anyways. Maybe I should try to get with him.


 No.404531

File: 6e72a78ac715e74⋯.jpg (11.36 KB, 183x275, 183:275, index.jpg)

Australia reporting in. They will not silence us.


 No.404538

i could really use a hug right now


 No.404541

>>404538

*hugs*


 No.404562

>>404538

I can only give you a virtual one. *hug*


 No.404580

File: d0d5da26ebd8169⋯.jpg (763.97 KB, 1280x1726, 640:863, 1532658657228.jpg)

>tfw no bottom cuteboy bf to move in with me, love, pick outfits for, give hot oil massages to and take bubble baths with


 No.404641




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