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No.13082
We all know we're high tech here… but how low life are you, cyberpunks? Share some of your best motherfuckery and tales of the best worst shit you've done.
No.13086
I've hacked my attendance record in high school to not flunk out in 2001.
sorry for not being punk enough…
No.13090
No.13095
Used to shoplift weaboo materials at cons
To the cyberpolice out there this is not a confession
No.13098
Almost built a railgun in a barracks room out of a nerf gun.
Put the project on hold because I misjudged the capacitors and almost set the room on fire.
I'm not very low life.
No.13100
>>13082I stole a few Pokémon card packs when I was in highschool.
No.13104
I've downloaded some music from the internet
No.13105
>>13095>shoplifting at consReally? Most of the people with stalls there are either small businesses or other enthusiasts.
Not cool.
No.13107
>>13105>Not cool.That's the point…
No.13130
Beyond stupid teenager hick-shit, like fucking around in barns and driving around inna fields, dicking around innawoods, throwing rocks at shit I shouldnt be throwin rocks at ive alsomade/set off nigger-tier explosives and napalm innawoods
then I realized that was kind of a bad idea. At some point I want to pick up one of those full retard super capacitors and build a railgun though
No.13132
When I was in high school I found out that my girlfriend was being molested by her dad, i doxxed him and found out that he was also a small-time hacker, his handle was geefive. I used that against him, and made an account on some forum posing as one of his friends, and chatted him up until I got an unintentional confession out of him that i later used in court against him.
Now he's living out of a van and I'm living with his daughter. His wife divorced him and married her lawyer. I honestly feel bad for him, I ruined his life, but I created something beautiful at the same time. That bitterschwayness is the most beautiful thing to me.
i quoted him saying
(geefive): i just had my daughter taken from me by some stupid kid and the police are all over me
(me): that's fucking terrible gee what's this kids deal
(geefive): I don't know, people, society, I'll blame anyone I can
;_;
No.13138
>>13132Why isn't he in jail if he molested his daughter? Anyway, that was awesome, hardly what I would call "low life".
No.13140
I regularly steal stuff from high class super markets, specifically dog food, cookies, chocolate and most of all expensive tea, but I don't consider that low life at all.
I was caught once, but I was an underage and we paid all that we stoled with my partner (About $30), so I didn't get in any kind of legal trouble. The most I've stolen is once with a friend when we stole about $300 in alcohol and food for us and some other friends.
>>13132Don't worry, you're a hero.
No.13145
>>13138The thing is, he'd given her acid when she was a little kid, and he'd been warping her perception of reality a lot. He'd groomed her to take responsibility for everything that was going on, thinking she wanted it, so she wouldn't speak out. But because of that she wasn't very grounded in reality.
She wasn't in any position to testify, he convinced the court that she was "mentally unstable" and her testimony was thrown out. We eventually settled the case with him agreeing to give up custody.
I say it's kind of a low life thing because I went out of my way to hurt another person. Even if he had set himself up for a fall, I was still the one who pushed him down, and that hacker I used to admire is homeless now. Sure, he's a scumbag who ogles kids, but it's all pretty fucked up if you look at it from his perspective.
>>13140there are no heroes
No.13146
>>13138No evidence, I already had sex by the time I got out of the house and there was no witnesses.
No.13147
>>13145No, you went out of your way to help another person.
No.13164
>>13145what a fucking awful thing to do to your offspring
assuming this story is completely true, he got exactly what he deserved
No.13168
>>13145>pretty fucked up if you look at it from his perspectiveYes, it is. He drugged his own daughter, fucked her and told the girl it was her fault. THAT's fucked up.
But I think I kind of understand you feeling bad for him since you were the one that made him homeless.
But still… Maybe being homeless is even worse than being in jail.
No.13170
Haha, oh man. I'd love to throw up some stories here but the details of most of them would absolutely destroy my anonymity.
Let's just say I've coerced the boyfriend of a girl who sideswiped me into paying for a dent after she tried to do a hit and run while she was fucked up after a night on the town. I've also become friends with people and used them to get advantages from certain businesses and groups even though I thought they were absolutely useless as people.
No.13171
>>13170I've also tipped off the police to drug dens in a few abandoned buildings so I could go urbex them, but I don't think that's awfully scummy.
No.13180
>>13082Not terribly, except for shitty skiddie stuff back when I was in high school. I've always been above-board for IRL stuff, oddly enough, but I'm a bit obsessed with knowing HOW to do slightly illicit things, while usually never doing them.
On the internet level, I torrent shit like everyone else, and have dropped basic dox on a few people.
On the corporate level, I mostly like to have fun. Being the guy with the ID printer has led to good times. My workplace has unknowingly issued IDs for MD Geist, Gabe Newell, and a half dozen to me, with different art. Pic related is my favorite. I sometimes fuck with people, BOFH-style. I've snagged volume licensing for Windows and Office. When I worked at a shitty GeekSquad ripoff, I sorta-stole RAM, CPUs, and other useful components that we were supposed to recycle (laptop sports 12gb of RAM now, up from the factory 4). I dumpster dive frequently.
I expect in 20 years, once I start having midlife crises, I'll probably do some crazy shit.
No.13184
>>13180>My workplace has unknowingly issued IDs for MD Geist, Gabe Newell, and a half dozen to me, with different art.pic nigga
No.13185
Shoplifting from big stores.
>got caught
>cops get called
>told me i can go bu i will receive a letter telling me when to go to "be judged"
>shit never arrived
Haven't done it since though.
Other than that I'm a candy ass shazbot.
No.13225
>>13082lets see
>all of my technology was found in dumpsters or purchased second hand>router is DIYed from an old desktop, internet is served by a mess of cables barely managed with temporary wall hooks because i cant afford wireless> been involved in multiple drug-fueled orgies ( we tested the drugs for impurites beforehand and wrapped our dicks, i try to be smart about being a dumbass)> tried to steal shit from local recycling center- almost got mauled by the guard dog> Roommate sells porn online to pay for his part of the rent, >I'm desprately looking for work in heavy industry and currently surviving by sewing ridiculous costumes for people to wear at raves and selling my bodily fluids Huh. Never thought much about it before now.
No.13248
I used to wait outside the subway gate to the track for someone to open the emergency door (which people in a rush always opened) so I wouldn't pay the fee. I did the same with the buses if the back side door open and sneak through the people.
In High school we had metal detectors at the entrances since we had gangs that went there. There is also a no cellphone rule or any tech whatsoever allowed. During the fall/winter I would smuggle electronics in for people because of my thick coat and lazy rent-a-cops not saying shit to me.
Me and my friends use to shoplift at multiple stores for munchies, muzak CDs or vidya. The man was a artist at stealing, and made it look so easy. One moment we walk in a market and in a few minutes he says we have to leave. When I get only one or two things, this guy has 15 to 20 items.
Lastly, we use to write shit on the walls in random places with offensive shit just to see if some of it made it on the news as
>Swastikas outside of a business establishment owned by a Jewish couple.
>"This is terrible, my grandma passed a few months ago who was holocaust survivor and I walk in one day to see this"
>cries
or
>Japanese family shocked to see "How did radiation feel nips?"
>"This man is a coward!"
other times we would just break shit because "fuck these shazbots man"
I've only been arrested a few times and that was because drug possession and relying on my friends instinct rather than my own.
My friends and I were real bastards, everything slow down when we grew up. I sort of miss the stupidity we once reveled in.
No.13261
>>13082>how low-life are you?Anymore? not much. There's always history, though….
>collectively built a pipe bomb and made a random shmuck's outhouse disappear.>firebombed civic monuments>used to have a game I'd play with a friend. Rule: steal the least valuable, but most "interesting" object possible. Returns from this included anything from used construction equipment, plasic pieces from grocery packaging that's normally removed before it's stocked, a bar of soap and a tombstone. >used to sell drugs; we maintained market advantage by giving away home-made chems (think: chloroform, etc) for free as a "bonus" with our normal products.>wrecked a guy's myspace for hitting a dog with a tree branch. got the typical "you dun goofed" response from his parents; lol'd when his dad, an IT secfag for some corp, told us that he'd traced my IP to a specific friend's place. Wrecked the page from a different location.>made a business of "recovering" passwords from phones and other mobile devices on a "no questions asked" basis.>made a counter business of theft-proofing devices since people knew "someone" was unlocking stolen devices in the area. >used Tor to circumvent filters and DL backtrack linux at the library…>…stole my neighbour's internet with backtrack linux. >SMS raep'd a friend's phone with 9001 iterations of "nigga y u laet?" for being 15 minutes late to a party – ruined the date he was ditching us for because his phone didn't shut up until over 45 minutes later…when he'd finally given up and come to join/yell at us. >used telnet to access restricted sites in highschool>used to play the game of "trip on LSD and go urbexing at 3AM" No.13266
>>13132Good job anon. You did good.
No.13269
>>13132Don't feel bad. You did the right thing, protecting your girl.
He does not deserve your pity. He only deserves pain and death. God willing.
No.13271
i got a high school (that some skid who pissed me off goes to) evacuated last year back in October (i could link the article and news story if any anon wants to read it)
No.13272
>>13271Yeah. it'll be great. What mass hysteria did you make him suffer?
No.13285
File: 1422873146623.jpg (11.54 KB, 246x200, 123:100, evil_mastermind_by_largest….jpg)
>>13261>made a business of "recovering" passwords from phones and other mobile devices on a "no questions asked" basis.>made a counter business of theft-proofing devices since people knew "someone" was unlocking stolen devices in the area. exquisite.
No.13319
You guys are a bunch of shazbots
>so yeah, i'm so badass, i stole candy when i was younger
>i was even worse, i fucking stole someones passwords !!!1!!!111!
No.13323
>>13184>I want pics of your fake IDsThat's a dangerous game, user.
Yes, the censoring was necessary - most people from that workplace could probably still recognize it, too. The MD Geist ID number is censored because I kept the number and the barcode as my actual ID, so I could still use it.
I forgot the pic on the original post, so that's attached as well. Not only is that on my main ID card, but I also dropped that into the system so that whenever my card is scanned, that's what comes up as the photo.
>>13319Are you that angry SJW that's been whining in other threads, or just some boring shazbot that has never done anything against the rules because you're too scared to?
No.13331
>>13323I used to do a lot of skiddy shit when I was younger.
>tfw only behind 6 proxies No.13373
I once sent an anonymous email to a teacher I disliked telling him how much he sucked. He made a 10 minute speech the next day about it, apparently he was deeply offended.
I also bought LSD from the internets
No.13377
>>13261>>SMS raep'd a friend's phone with 9001 iterations of "nigga y u laet?" for being 15 minutes late to a party – ruined the date he was ditching us for because his phone didn't shut up until over 45 minutes later…when he'd finally given up and come to join/yell at us. couldn't he, like, take the battery out of the phone? Or did he have one of those new-fangled ones with non-replaceable battery because of USABILITY STUDIES
No.13378
Welp, this would be a crime depending on ones viewpoint.
I'm a weird guy that in my spare time uses services like craigslist, freecycle, and even drewslist to acquire computer stuff from one place, fix what I can, and then give, mail, or sell it to other shazbots.
No.13382
>>13378Where's crime in that? You're basically selling your time (spent on looking for things) and knowledge (most people don't know how to fix stuff).
The only crime can be that you probably don't pay taxes, but I don't think you're earning enough on it to even need to do so.
No.13471
I was a pretty serious graffiti artist for a while. I also stole shit all the time.
techno wise, basic pirating with audio software ($1000+), operating systems, actual music and tv shows. I also did some basic funny shit with the computers at school, like planting fake viruses in the administrative files via linux live boot.
No.13483
Wow you're such a badass (NOT)
No.13489
DDoS'd for a few bil on RuneScape.
No.13537
I created KotakuPastebin to piss Kotaku off, and ended up getting a direct message from Stephen Totilo
No.13544
>>13471>graffiti artistCan you share some pictures of your work (remember to remove EXIF)?
No.13584
>>13225> pictureTop fucking kеk m8.
No.13586
>>13537Link? Would you share the message? I love seeing Kotaku get bumblasted.
No.13598
>imagine all these jay and silent bob antics taking place
>be a shazbot millenial who did nothing but stay at home and play video games throughout his youth
>make shitty blog post on /cyber/
No.14129
When I was around 16 and edgy I always went to tough bars and other places at night. However I got my face smashed a few times when I got seperated from my friends on the way home. So ninja movies and dbz inspired me to make an escape flash. Instead of fucking around with pocket sand I made a device from camera parts with 3 flashes. It was bulky, but fit in my hoodie pocket and once saved my ass. It took a few seconds to charge and if you get flashed in the face in the dark, you wont' see shit for some time. Gives enough time to run away.
No.14130
No.14139
>>13323nigga that's golden
>gabe newell #69;^)
Was that purely random or did you plan that?
>>14129Are you an asian kid who liked watching Goonies?
No.14146
>>13331>mfw only 5 proxiesfeels bad man
No.14167
>>14139Oh, I did that on purpose. The barcode reads 69, as well - it's generated from the ID code.
I don't have any pictures of it, but I also printed a Richard C. Mongler ID for one of my friends, who used to be a /b/tard back in the day. I can't remember if I did 000069 for that as well, or if I used his actual ID number so he could swipe it.
No.14168
Not very high tech, but pretty low life.
>private school for high school
>student council all 4 years
>vice president all 4 years
>4 year tenure treasurer is bro
>Routinely encourage the council and President (I served under 3 different ones) to plan extravagant dances, rallies, activities, etc.
>Offer to relieve them of all the burden of actually planning this, essentially whittle their jobs down to discussing wishlists and letting me make it happen
>come back with absurd price quotes
>tone them down only slightly
>Treasurer bro assured them brouzouf was always there for their extravagant shit
>We'd find every way possible to cut corners on EVERYTHING
Call in favors owed by AV club guys for DJing dances, scour the city for catering companies with mis-orders and surpluses, etc.
>Checks to providers always made out to cash
>we cashed them
>paid providers in cash
>we took the difference (which began to add up)
>Senior year and graduation roll around
>Praised by teachers and student council for being a quiet, effective Vice President who always had his President's back - faithfully serving 3 "administrations"
>Treasurer bro is similarly lauded
>nobody realizes we embezzled around $6-7,000 each over the years
So college comes around
>Join fraternity
>obtain non-elected executive council position
>still can propose legislation
>Charter amendment passes, it now requires a majority vote of our alumni board to dislodge me
>Almost all important committee heads, executive committee are also on my committee
>hold my meetings before Chapter meetings
>my committee sets the tone for all chapter meetings for 3 years, including controlled opposition
>IFC (inter-fraternity council) shit gets rolling, I have to attend regular meetings with my counterparts from other fraternities
>Eventually become meetings of my position and president of every fraternity for all IFC meetings
>student government elections come
>herewegoagain.jpg
>start accumulating favors owed by other fraternities
>establish council for risk management with Pan-Hel (sororities)
>they start to owe us some
>reach out to our student government candidates asking for favors in return for things like securing votes and helping their odds
>get independent (non-fraternity or sorority) friends to run as spoiler candidates
>start banging student paper junior editor
>she starts colluding in suppressing certain stories, building narrative as we want it
>Sophomore Year rolls around
>my people win elections, finally
>scramble to keep coalition together, ensure our candidates (now office-holders) play ball
>start doling out favors, resolving issues
>Senior year
>I run a goddamn "political machine" for a major-ish Midwestern university's fraternity, sorority, and student government systems
>no embezzlement but plenty of media manipulation, intimidation, misappropriation of university and student government funds, lots of antics covered up or brushed aside thanks to pulling the right strings
And that's how I learned about politics! Thanks to my thorough and extensive education in the political processes in a constitutional democracy, I now have no respect whatsoever for actual IRL politicians.
No.14169
>>14168>posted by a future president of the US No.14170
>>14168Wait, so your Student Council actually let you handle the cash?
Jesus Christ, they put too much faith into you guys.
I was VP was mine and just sat on my ask making sarcastic remarks all of the time.
No.14173
>>14169Oh no, I should have made that clearer. I never ran for or held any elected office in college. Senior year, I was still just a lowly Risk Management chairman for a mid-sized fraternity.
Doesn't mean that I didn't get the final say in things like
>Who will the big speaker be this year?>What concerts should we schedule?>What houses have priority for renovation grants?>Who gets the coveted campus locations for their events (social, charity, whatever)Sad thing was the goal wasn't brouzouf or even really power, I just wanted to make certain my fraternity got everything it wanted. Renovation grant- DONE, the entire university golf course reserved for our charity event with only one week notice - DONE, the unfortunate antisemetic incident - never got beyond worth of mouth rumor nobody believed… that kind of nonsense.
I enjoyed playing "Godfather", don't get me wrong, but the ultimate motive was keeping my people strong and insulated from harm. They put their faith in me to manage their risk, insurance, etc. and things kinda snowballed into a full blown political machine.
I'm technically head of three departments at work and even my bosses aren't sure what my title is. OH GOD! IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN!
But no, I don't go on rampages looking for power or authority. I just tend to take a leading role and before I realize, everyone's asking me what they're supposed to do and I'm somehow de-facto in charge of whatever the hell I've been doing.
Take care of your "tribe", your people and do everything in your power (including seizing power so there's more you can do!) and things will magically fall into place. Seems to work for me!
No.14209
>>13082Used to go out at night with friends and set off Molotov's, napalm, and fireworks. We tried to make thermite too using rust powder and iron filings with magnesium as the ignition source, but we were in our early high school years so that failed miserably. Cant do much of that now since I'm out of high school.
No.14213
>>13100I convinced an autistic kid to trade me his gold YuGiOh "Egyptian God Card" for a fake exodia set I made with a printer and glossy paper.
Told that aspie it was legit.
I think it was actually worth a good bit when yugioh was a big deal.
No.14345
>>13261>made a business of "recovering" passwords from phones and other mobile devices on a "no questions asked" basis.>made a counter business of theft-proofing devices since people knew "someone" was unlocking stolen devices in the area. If you aren't making shit up, kindly elaborate. I'm curious.
No.14353
>>14213I met a couple guys who did that. Dem gullible kids man
No.14397
I've smuggled weapons wearing a ski mask, trench coat, and brandishing Mark 23. I also only eat strawberries, chicken burgers, and milk.
No.14404
>>14397> I also only eat strawberries, chicken burgers, and milk.hard…core?
No.14453
I just ended a contract for this healthcare brokerage startup. While my job was to help build a CMS, most of what I did there was creating mass scale scraper bots to collect hundreds of thousands of individual plan quotes into a giant database for their quoting engine.
I hit them all with a hybrid form of scraping I invented using Greasemonkey's GM_XMLHTTPREQUEST and a php file to keep track of stuff/handle DB shit.
Humana
Assurant
Coventry
United Healtchare
Cigna
Aetna
Even some smaller quote sites like
Quotit
HealthSherpa
ValuePenguin
etc
>mfw I got paid to basically dump databases over port 80.
No.14459
in middle school id always fuck with school PC's, the day i discovered that they had a opensuse network boot set up for imaging computers, hilarity ensued. for a fucking middle school they had a lot of weird stuff going on in their network.
in high school first thing i did was checked for the same shit, wasn't exactly the same, after my freshman year they changed a bunch of stuff. started fucking around and gave my user account admin privileges across the entire network. i got fucked over right after that by school admins, but i think an IT staff member set me up because they were accusing me of stupid shit that id never even done. i also used to get rid of passwords on phones and ipods for cash way more often that i expected to, actually got accused of being some "ringleader" that goes around and steals peoples shit although i never fucking did. i also used to sell drugs in high school and was constantly on massive amounts of pills like a retard.
i go to a community college now for cyber sec and constantly dicking around in their stuff, kinda sketchy though cause most of my teachers have worked for/work for the military/bureau/agency and give me funny looks often which kinda sketches me out. i secretly hope one of them will notice me and offer me something cool to do, thatd be awesome, but will prob never happen cause i look like some kind of dirty burnout most likely.
when im bored i sit in mcdonalds parking lots and watch CC info etc go through their network and sometimes just screw stuff up, i used to do the same in the mall but im too paranoid for that now. ive never really stolen any or even saved info, i just like seeing that i can. a buddy of mine used to own a gas station and had a neat little way of making physical copies of customers cards, pretty fucked up, lets just say i had nothing to do with that.
and i make small EMPs and weird contraptions i may or may not use to fuck shit up in public places, and also physical devices to "hack" stuff, i feel like a retard saying that. im constantly afraid im gonna have my hand in my pocket one day, flip a switch, and end up electrocuting myself and looking like a retard cause my soldering is always pretty ugly. thats about it i guess.
No.14487
>>14404Indeed he is. Very few people are as badass.
No.14515
Nothing but drugs and urban/cyber exploration for me
No.14516
>>13331>not having how to screenshot and gayporn tabs open No.14544
At one point of my life, I was renting a room in a share-apartment in Central St Petersburg (Russia, not Florida), working for an international carder gang over the internet. I quit as soon as I realized what they were really up to.
I also used to deal drugs to my friends and their friends, I guess. I'm not very lowlife.
No.14561
I steal computers from recycling bins and rip any data they've got left on them to peruse at my leisure because of my voyeuristic tendencies
No.15977
>>14515cyber exploration…?
No.15988
>>14516i'm sorry, was that humorous?
No.16300
There are more cellphones, in the country where I live, than toilets.
No.16305
>>16300Good, now stay in India and stop trying to take my job, currynig.
No.16331
>>16305what is your job and why can a robot not supersede you?
No.16335
>>13171yeah, you are just a pussy
No.16337
>>13248>real bastards>posting about using the subway without buying a ticket, bringing cellphones inside the school, shoplifting and painting swastikas on the walls as examples of low life.Is this board just a 10/10 troll?
No.16338
>>14353>>14213taking advantage of someone is not something you should be boasting about
No.16340
>>16337yeah, being cruel isn't lowlife - it's the opposite
No.16342
>bragging about torrenting shit
>scamming autistic fucks
>tipping off cops
>having played motherfucking yugioh
>bragging about taking the subways without a ticket
niggas that's not lowlife, it's called being a pathetic shazbot
No.16384
>>13331what proxies do you use?
No.16410
>>13107No, the point is resisting megacorps, not being a general dick to your fellows. Especially if they're one of your own. How many /cyber/ novels have you read where the main character is just a dick fucking people over for no reason?
When I think lowlife, I think drugs for some reason. In that regard, I was once a very low life indeed. Also being generally dirty. I've done a lot of that. Is dumpstering considered low life? I've eaten a bunch of lowlife meals. Shoplifting from modern day megacorps? Ayup. Living on the dole? Ayup.
Not so much anymore, thankfully. I'm definitely less of a low life at this stage. Being a lowlife is romantic, but I'm not a main character in a book.
No.16466
>>16410Fuck you. Screwing over the little guy is way better than fucking with a megacorp, because then the damage is real.
No.16467
File: 1424658333014.jpg (194.24 KB, 1024x1365, 1024:1365, uncool_chan__version_2_by_….jpg)
>>16466senseless violence is not cool
No.16469
>>16467You're right. It's awesome.
No.16470
>>16469>>16467no it's uncool: bad, useless, incompatible with desired goals
No.16473
>>16466>>16469kid, did your father beat you or something?
No.16487
I sold adderall and xanax all through highschool
No.16535
>>14544>there's a St. Petersburg, Florida.God damn Americans and naming their shit after other places.
No.16604
>>16535haha we got so much of that shit up here in maine. china, poland, norway, paris, denmark, list goes on and on
No.17401
>>13082I have a criminal record charge for Assault with a Deadly Weapon.
No.17412
back in high school i used to fake my parents signatures whenever they were needed for some non important messages and grade bulletins.
Wrote simple RAM clogging .bat viruses to drop em in the computers lab and installed CS 1.6 to play with friends.
Also i used to be a Sharpie tattoo artist and charged about 2 to 5 dollars per drawing and an aditional buck for redrawing cause friends parents made them wash that shit.
Made several cheat sheets encrypted in several languages and taught some friends to decode them and use them in exams. Also played some crypto treasure hunt with said friends.
Actually used 3 1/2 Diskettes to store essays and digital homework.
Befriended my Physics professor so he could supply me some copper for a coilgun project i had. I made a 20 inches long 3 stages coilgun and showed it to him and he passed me that year, the guy was pretty schway.
And finally in the last year of high school i got into a stupid argument with my Religion professor (was a shitty catholic school) about transhumanism and how we could be more than gods, hopefully it wasnt a graded class otherwise the fucker would have flunked me.
No.17414
>>17412Very nice anon. Any pics on the coil gun?
No.17429
>>14168The most cyb post on this board.
No.17444
This must be some nsa's trick to get me confess that I grew weed when I was 16 and stole army equipment when I was in service.
Oh shit they are h
No.17453
>Technique #4 - 'INFORMATION COLLECTION'
>Information collection is also a very effective method to determine the psychological level of the forum members, and to gather intelligence that can be used against them. In this technique in a light and positive environment a 'show you mine so me yours' posting is initiated. From the number of replies and the answers that are provided much statistical information can be gathered. An example is to post your 'favourite weapon' and then encourage other members of the forum to showcase what they have. In this matter it can be determined by reverse proration what percentage of the forum community owns a firearm, and or a illegal weapon. This same method can be used by posing as one of the form members and posting your favourite 'technique of operation.' From the replies various methods that the group utilizes can be studied and effective methods developed to stop them from their activities.http://cryptome.org/2012/07/gent-forum-spies.htm No.17461
>>17444>stole army equipmentplease tell me it was something interesting, not just a warming layer or something
although those waffletops are sweeeeet
No.17466
>>16384I get big lists from a few different places, then run them through a python script to see which ones are still online.
No.17471
>>17461Shoes, gloves, towels and 40 kilos of mre. Anything interesting was too risky or if I would get caught I would have faced jail, military court or my whole company would have been shut down for security preach. Usually I just stole simple stuff people left unattended. I wish I would have rummaged trough trash tough. There were shittons of tech from 90's and 80's.
Also what the hell is waffletop?
No.17472
>>17471I have to point out that I did not serve in the US and no; I will not tell where I served or my rank. I was a low rank fucktard who only did shitty logistics work.
No.17477
>>17471technically called a grid fleece
it's the warmest, coziest motherfucker there is
it's the one with the high collar and the thumbholes to pull the sleeves up under your gloves or over your knuckles
it's like not even getting out of bed
No.17478
>>17477Oh damn I know! Those things were cosy as fuck. I wish I had stolen one.
No.17500
Very little crime, beyond the usual piracy, of which my entire generation is guilty. I'm usually polite to people, and the worst I've ever done probably involves my porn collection (no CP here though, NSA).
>>13598Yeah, I'm this guy.
No.17501
>>15977Probably exploring old MMO game worlds (Worlds, Second Life, etc.) and abandoned websites.
No.17531
you guys are making me all painfully aware what a boring shazbot i am.
No.17534
No.17592
>>14129I wanna know how you did it. Seriously, put some schematics up somewhere.
No.17604
>>17592Not him, but all you need to do is strip down a disposable camera to nothing but the flash and use that. Better yet, an actual old-school camera flash, shit can be bright as fuck. Amp up the batteries and you're golden.
You can also remove the bulb, attach pointed leads, and you've got a pretty brutal tazer. One of my friends managed to accidentally weld a pair of tweezers together when fucking with a large flash.
No.17880
>>17531you're not that bad most days I don't leave my bed
No.18065
>>14459>and i made small EMPsnever fire that shit in public, you might kill someone with a pacemaker and get arrested for murder
No.18249
during my 2edgy4u phase I:
>helped smear a catholic altar with glyphs painted in pig's blood
>framed a guy who had much worse coming for it
>got him run out of town
>wormed my way into otherkin communities to chronicle and mock them
>ripped off an entire street light
>ripped off portions of high-end security systems
>distracted a guy so he'd get hit by a car
nobody suspected me of any of it, to this day everyone thinks I'm an upstanding polite young person from a good christian home.
of course, if there are any feds reading this, none of this is in any way true.
No.18287
>>18065that'd be manslaughter brah
No.18377
>>18249>low empathy antisocial behaviourwelp, seems like you had psychopathic teenage outbreaks
>>distracted a guy so he'd get hit by a caromg, I always wanted to do this but never had the chance
just for curiosity, is it as satisfactory as I imagined it as being?
No.18582
I can't acknowledge or deny doing anything low-life related. Speaking of low-lifes, the worst of them are whitehat shazbots.
No.18595
>>18377yes and no, I'm not close with my family, but I don't like shazbots punching my siblings in the mouth infront of me.
watching someone ragdoll however is pretty disturbing in person
No.18598
>>18595Well of course it is, you fucking knobhead.
No.18618
>>18595>watching someone ragdoll however is pretty disturbing in personyou're no fun
:[
everything can be at least a little bit of fun if you put your mind to it.
Just because it is a close family member it doesn't mean anything,
they probably don't remember it and they got out of it with just few bones crushed.
No.18638
>>18598yeah, but tugging on muscles of corpses is great fun, flipping off people using a dead man's hand is just a little funny.
>>18618I don't expect him to remember it chummer, I'm not here to teach people life lessons, I was just annoyed with the shazbot
No.18641
>>18638>>18618>>18595>>18377>>18249Is this the lowlife thread, or the 3edgy5u thread?
No.18642
>>18641why not both chummer?
No.18661
I pirate movies, reupload them, and then print QR codes with the link for people to find. Don't know if anyone's actually used them though.
I also have a regular system for shoplifting, which I use to get the painkillers I'm addicted to for free.
No.18678
>>14173man i want to grow up to be like you
thanks for being a role model mr bateman.
No.18681
i study hard in school and attend lots of clubs.
i got scolded by a teacher once for using bad language.
ive never done any drugs. man im the antithesis of low life.
>>17453ahh fucking spooky
No.18682
I once stole a plant from an office in highschool. Also set some paper (and a friend) on fire and got suspended for a week. Also drank in school, got caught once and suspended.
Got suspended in junior kindergarten for learning how to read, and reading some graffiti on school property that said `fuck`, then saying it outloud.
No.18683
>>18682Oh, forgot to mention I got suspended for 3~ days at a time almost every month throughout elementary school for questioning teachers. Thanks, fucking catholic school.
No.18685
>>18661Describe said technique user
No.18728
>>18683>>18682Let me guess, brazil?
No.18781
In high school we were given school laptops that we could take home but these laptops haf monitoring software were the school could see everything you did and if you were at school they could monitor your screen. So obviously i went to utorrent and downloaded the uninstaller and teachers version of the software and charged a couple brouzouf to people uninstall the software and install the teacher version. once enough students had it we turned it on the teachers and used to delete important shit off of their computers, chaos ensued and we had free reign of the network I also used it to fuck up an enemy of mines laptop. Boy did I get in shit for that stuff but it was worth it.
No.18787
No.18837
I stole that LAN box thingy that you use for LAN parties the other day at high school and gave it a friend. I could have used it but whatever. Also when I was working in a drug store I was hanging out in the warehouse all the time eating that fruit sugar-glucose type of schway and looking at old tech. Dude had a Commodore64 and a few dozens of floppy disks(which I didn't steal, unfortunaletly)
No.18877
>>13132kind've jackass but i guess 'your ind/idea was trying to do right' or whatever that quote is
No.18878
>>13132I have a boner now.
No.18879
>>14168remember that /pol/ thread where one guy (class, really) simulated a student goverment for a few weeks. Some legislative student program, so he was able to become dictator in effect? As in he took peoples' food, toiletries, etc? And got most people to obey him and lock up those who spoke out against him? To be fair, though the governor at the end refused to budge and the governor was able to still somewhat resist his influence.
it was one of the 'why we need amendment 2' things. Also, you literally are the tvtropes 'absurdly powerful student countil' trope, AND you went to private school. lol.
>>14173Remember Stalin ended up as like the secretary checking on who voted for x (All-mighty janitor!)
No.18986
Been keeping an eye on this thread. Moves pretty slow so I may as well contribute
Make a pretty schway living getting temp jobs with telemarketing agencies, working one or two days til I have access to their data lists, then rip the lists and sell them on to other agencies.
Heading to a spot now to connect to their wlan and pull a database of 5k leads or so I can s3ll for $1 per lead in the SMEE space
Feels cool man
No.18993
>>18986To add to this:
I feel like we're living in a time where data such as I move is beginning to be worth real brouzouf on the small to medium enterprise level, but orgs with >50 staff are not educated on data security.
I wish I knew a thing or two about cracking networks, it would save me so much time on the RL side of things in terms of accessing databases. For example, there's a large lead generation company in my city that pretty much deals in large data lists worth upwards of 20k 1st world dollars, and if somebody had the ability to connect to the wifi they'd be able to just fucking jump in an pull hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of data in fucking spreadsheets.
I'll give another example- worked for a client who asked me to wash some data lists for a crappy hourly wage. Guy was from another state, and had written an app that accessed his database for me to work from. As soon as he sent the app I passed it on to a more technically minded buddy who did whatever black magic and used the credentials provided to scrape the database
then proceeded to move a few score leads from that database for $500 a pop to another org in another state in an afternoon after a few phone calls, all on the legit, legal level.
why can I not into cracking wifi srsly
No.19601
No.19640
>>13331>having facebook open, claiming you're secure because muh proxies No.19648
>>13261Ok, but, how does one go about stealing a tombstone.
No.19731
>>18661Shoplifting addictive painkillers, otc codeine?
I hate that the stuff isn't otc over here..
No.19741
this one time i took a half-full beer at a bar. i had 0 brouzouf so i wished someone had left it, turns out they'd just gone to the bathroom. i gulped it before the dude came out and left, but the bartender came running after me, livid. he was two seconds away from beating me to pulp, but he calmed down when i gave him a gift card as payment. the card still had around $7 on it, so all in all i paid for a half-pint with an unrelated store's gift card.
No.19757
>>17466>not posting link to pastebin for said scriptHelp some niggas out
No.19758
>>13098gonna need some blueprints there chummer
No.19823
I dunno if this is particularly low life, but I was a pretty antisocial teenager.
When I was 16, some private school kid – a friend of a friend – paid me to mess with a guy he knew. We will call him B. I stole B's hotmail and facebook accounts, found a bunch of embarrassing secrets he had hidden away, then started trolling B and his friends over MSN messenger. I found out that one of said friends claimed his uncle was some kind of security specialist who could fix this and find out who did it.
> You're what, 23, 25? You seem really bright, you should be doing something productive, not fucking with a teenager's life.
> Yeah, you're right. I don't feel good about this.
> So why are you doing it?
> I was paid to.
> Who paid you?
> I don't know if I should say.
> Come on, man. B doesn't deserve this.
> Okay, yeah, he doesn't. I don't feel right naming names, but one of your close friends got me to break into B's stuff so that he could get it back and look like a hero. That's all I'm saying. I'm done. Your friend can have his accounts back.
> No, come on, which one? Is he in the group chat?
> He might be.
Apparently between that and the dirty laundry I aired the drama really escalated. I feel bad about it now, but the shekels were great at the time.
I also used to sneak out at night to draw graffiti and stuff. When I was a cringy /b/tard, I wheatpasted a pretty large cartoon longcat along the side of a building. Never got caught for all the bullshit I did, but somewhere between age 17 and 18 I decided to leave it behind.
No.20140
Stole a bunch of chemlab shit in highschool and once turned an erlenmeyer flask into a vape to smoke pot with. That was fucking sketchy. Set dumpster fires and shoplifted a bunch. Cracked a couple wi-fi passwords when I would visit grandparents because they didn't have internet. Then there's your typical piracy and what have you.
I was a good student at school, but I was a piece of shit outside it. I've calmed down since then though.
If the feds or anyone else are reading this, I made everything up except for the good student part.
No.20157
>>13323
>just some boring shazbot that has never done anything against the rules because you're too scared toNot the angry whining SJW, but this is me in a nutshell. I just read the experiences that have been posted and live vicariously through them, I guess.
No.23496
I was in Greece mid 2013 for my high school senior trip. We were in Athens, my friend and I were given free roam of a giant flea market that was already giving me some good vibes, when my friend and I walked into the center square,
There was a huge anarchist rally for a guy named Kostas Sakkas, who was detained without evidence for years now (He was on a hunger strike for about a week, but there were rumors he was being force-fed).
I didn’t know what was going on, but a girl with a pink top, black cargo pants, and leaflets (schway) came up to me, we started talking about what was going on, and she started explaining the background, like the economy, education slashes, youth unemployment, etc.
So I ask my friend to look up the guy, and there were absolutely no results on Google.
So, any searching for the guy was being blocked, I believe by the government, so I tell her how to use TOR (which was a big deal at the time). While I was wrapping up the basic setup, she asked me if I wanted to march with them, which I eagerly said yes, dragging my buddy into it.
So, we go about 2-3 blocks towards the capital, and we see riot police blocking, rounding up protesters, and dispersing them. My buddy noped out, and I followed him after telling the girl I had to go.
I looked up what happened that day, and supposedly there was a clash/ riot later that day.
No.23499
>>18287
Still isn't optimal :[
No.23503
>>13082
Oh is there a lot to go on
-When I was little I nearly stole jewellery because muh corps at that age (still do)
-my friend and I used to hang out at 12-1am and go to parking lots and use clotheshanger and just scrape every car to oblivion
-in my area I set trees on fire near houses and the fire trucks had to come, ironically there was a massive fire the next day by another group of arsonists and they were charged with the one I set (news said they were charged for one in X area and my area "the night before")
And last but not least:
-I've set things in motion all these years in that I become entirely underground and then have my brother abducted and killed by my colleagues for raping me when I was 8.
No.23839
>>13537
Lol holy shit link
No.23842
>>13537
/cyber/ and 8ch are once again based as fuck.
Share the message, ya digital dingus.
No.23844
Once as a kid, me and a friend were literally playing with fire on a place filled with lots of dried grass, as the stupid kids we were, and inevitably set fire to that place. Because we were also cowards, we ran away, and later came back to that place. Luckily the locals managed to call the firefighters.
No.23845
>>23831
Fucking Stanford Prison Experiment all over again, that's great.
No.23853
>>23831
wow, that is one impressive story.
there is a german movie called "the wave" that is similar. i haven't seen it yet but it's supposed to be good and also based on a real story iirc.
reminds me of clan politics in online gaming.
and it's funny how it's always /pol/tards who abuse the system and create their own little fascist dictatorship, even when they don't even like fascist dictatorships. must be in their genes lol.
using that story to justify the 2nd amendment is obviously stupid as fuck and only a deluded /pol/tard could come up with such a retarded conclusion but it's a good story.
No.23855
>>23853
>there is a german movie called "the wave" that is similar. i haven't seen it yet but it's supposed to be good and also based on a real story iirc.
I haven't seen the movie, but I'd recommend the book, it's pretty short, but still carries a lot of emotional weight. It's pretty similar, except the idea that the government corrupts into fascism is the point the teacher was trying to get across the whole time, it just gets way out of hand by the end.
No.23862
>>23855
>>23853
The movie is pretty meh, i saw it with my class years ago, the most interesting thing was the salute, we did it for a week after watching the movie.
No.23948
>>13098
My waifu did this at Uni. She stopped when she realized how much it would suck if she couldn't properly control the trajectory of the ammunition and the timing of the capacitor firing sequence. Was using a "copper rail" design at the time.
tl;dr My waifu was barking up the wrong tree with that design.
In a "classic" railgun design capacitor discharge timing is critically important to the trajectory for fired ammo.
These days my waifu would say fuck rails entirely, they significantly increase friction and therefore limit the ammunition in many ways.
If my waifu used an electro-magnetically charged barrel and chamber to suspend the ammunition and then used an extremely high voltage reaction to discharge the ammunition, it would be far more effective.
This gives you a lot more flexibility in terms of what kind of payload you want to deliver. Metallic liquid type ammunition isn't out of the question. This is probably the key to making effective railguns.
What really matters in an effective weapon is penetration, and the faster you can accelerate a group of particles, the better your penetration power is.
Imagine how tightly you could pack a group of liquid particles with an electromagnetic compression chamber, then imagine using a huge oppositional charge applied to that compressed liquid metal, forcing it metal out of the barrel at an extreme velocity.
Imagine the pinpoint accuracy you could achieve. Lower mass+much improved aerodynamic properties.
This could be used to disable physical targets from a much longer distance.
Designing and testing something like that would be a fun job.
No.23987
>>23948
liquid ammunition would be very space-efficient
No.24009
>>19823
>When I was a cringy /b/tard, I wheatpasted a pretty large cartoon longcat along the side of a building.
Hold on, just how long are we talkin?
No.24012
>>23496
That's pretty schway, anon.
No.24015
>>14345
Wow, this thread still exists. Ok, I'll elaborate.
I did this on a job corps facility where theft of small electronics is common. I was in the A+ course and was well known for being "good at it", so shady people would come to me with phones and old generation iPods they'd "accidentally locked" for me to open.
Dumb phones were pretty simple: often, there was a factory reset code one can enter into the device that wipes storage, including passwords. Additionally, there's often an "unlock" code that allows dumbphones to interface with carrier SIMs they're not normally allowed to interface with. Doing this makes the device easier to resell, so my typical procedure was to wipe the passwords with an unlock code, and then "unlock" it so that the nigger who brought it to me could resell it.
pre-iOS iPods were a bit easier (with phones, you have to know the model specific codes): there's a password file in the filesystem somewhere (can't remember where exactly – I was doing this shit back in 2008-2009ish) that, when deleted, unlocks the device.
Both of these procedures were paid with either $10 or a bag of weed.
Protecting devices was more in-depth and case-by-case given the nature of security. Most of the time, it was a matter of putting an autoruns + batchfile on flashdrives/mp3 devices that would delete windows system files if the device's owner didn't enter a password.
I never actually unlocked my own customer's stolen devices…that's fucked up ethically. Rather, my threat model was against inner city niggers who wouldn't know how to unlock an open door. The idea was to lock a device such that the item would be dumped in a public place after fucking up tyrone's laptop. This often led to the item being found and recovered by the owner.
>>19648
Not hard. The tombstone was in an isolated graveyard in a rural region. No security whatsoever, so it was literally a matter of getting drunk, rolling out there, knocking the fucker over, teamlifting it into the backseat and driving off.
No.24052
>lived in hong kong
>got in a violent feud with this bar owner and doormen who ripped me off.
>put together a scheme that landed undercover cops in his club
>had a dream of some gangster putting a shotgun in his mouth, maybe this really happened
>bought drugs off deep web
>went to rave in unfamilar town
>went to do drugs in toilet cubicle
>bouncer peered over
>thrown straight to cops
>spent night in cell
>following week saw strange activity around house whilst tripping on truffles
>pretty sure I was being scoped out but the raw paranoia didnt help
No.24055
>>14561
Where do you live that puts computers in recycling bins?
No.26592
>>14168
>>23853
I'm sympathetic to amendment 2 and for the reasoning of overthrowing governments if they oppress you but I can sympathize with you also with the whole 'but /pol/ said/did it' part
Oh half of /pol/ is lolbertarian after all :p
No.26607
>>24052
is HK as /cyber/ as it looks?
No.26616
>>13082
Not really badass or anything, but I think I've spent 90 percent of my life behind a screen. I consider that pretty low-life.
No.26646
It's not that /cyber/ but I have done vigilante stuff. I half killed a pedo who tutored my sister because the cops didn't care, I've beaten up numerous small time crooks, and I even managed to put a serious criminal operation out of action. Ironically, I've also extorted girls by sourcing nudes back to them then blackmailing them, and I've done many things that would probably be considered hard trolling, often of big institutions and public services. I made serious brouzouf by setting up a fake artist commission site, and I've been running drugs in an ethical gang for years.
On the /cyber/ front, I provide opsec to questionable activities.
No.26666
>>26646
>I half killed a pedo who tutored my sister because the cops didn't care
Did he even do something? Did he molest anyone or rape anyone? If not then sorry to break it to you but you're just an asshole.
No.26667
>>26646
WTF is an ethical gang ?
No.26668
>>26646
you deserve to get your ass beaten
>ethical gang
don't fool yourself shazbot
No.26669
>>14168
this is the least low life post I have ever read
No.26678
I don't seed my torrents.
No.26691
I hacked the mainframe of an oppressive megacorp even though the firewall was encrypted.
No.27632
>tfw my friend wich i used to go skate when was a kid, are now all robbers and drug dealers, im the only one who made it to university.
Used to, and still, search natural have almost no brouzouf to buy drugs, innawoods searching for shrooms and different trees, i've found a way to do DMT, in a common tree in my country.
No.27637
I picked up a prepaid debit card off the street.
Still working out how to launder the brouzouf.
No.27639
>>27637
Scratch that, checked the amount on the card: 0. And no info either.
Guess that's what you get when you pick up a card off the side of the road.
No.27643
>>13323
>Gabe Newell
>Savior of anything
No.27649
>>13130
>nigger-tier explosives
niggers can't into explosives
No.27650
No.27666
shazbot here but:
>every now and then I go to rails with abandoned train cars at night and sit in a cabin inside smoking weed and watching shit on my laptop
>urbex the shit of out of an industrial complex in my city
>urbex abandoned places all the time
>chugged a bottle of cough syrup in an abandoned house once
>have some squatter punk friends in the capital
No.27737
>>27666
you got trips of hell you now need to do 666 mg of dxm
No.32651
I have a plan that involves a barcode printer and a bit of sneakiness, but barcode printers cost about $25 more than my rent for a month. Guess I'm not doin' that either.
No.32672
No.32758
I salvage/"procure" used tech, refurbish it so it looks nice and riced, then sell it to stupid middle aged bar cretins for ridiculous prices.
I make drugs to sell to idiots. Mostly just capsuling codeine from cough syrup.
I offer networking services for a price, be it security or forced security. No questions asked.
I sometimes dox, blackmail and extort people for profit.
I'm a fantastic pickpocket and I'm great at locating improvised entry points to locked up places.
All of the above is a lie, this is not a confession. I made all this up.
No.32775
Stole half my high school's folding chairs. Shoplifted external hard drives for file-servers. Used various style attacks on college profs. to garner course paperwork well in advance. Raided corporate tech recycle boxes for extraneous hardware. Annnd I've subverted security on ISP infrastructure for the sole purpose of higher download speeds.
But meh, who the fuck cares as long as shit gets done.
No.32778
>>32758
>>32775
>>26646
ITT: shit that totally happened.
No.32780
>>32778
>I'm a poser and my life is boring, you must be the same!
No.33854
>>13132
You're the fucking coolest.
No.33866
>>32780
Actual hackers are too busy to browse /cyber/
No.34248
>>16338
That's what corps do
No.34277
>used reaver to procure wifi, not because I needed it, just because I could
>"hacked" an aquantainces facebook just to see if I could do it.
>when I got in I posted a lot of stuff about hating niggers and driving whilst on acid
>let him get the account back
>he was really pissed and swore to beat up whoever did it.
>never found out, smoked a joint with him a few months after the fact.
>smoked a lot of weed
>slowly but surely getting off it now
>only problem is that I'm supplimenting that with booze
>once went to jail for 40 days on a weed charge
I need to fucking get off drugs and get on learning some programming.
Also, protip: don't go to jail.
Protips if you do ever land yourself in jail though.
>If you're in a low sec jail befriend a CO
>CO will get you a jail job to help pass time
>If you get in the kitchen then no one really gives a fuck and you have access to much better foods, Ever day I ate a nice salad and garlic bread
>Other motherfuckers ate fake eggs, I always secured the real shit for myself.
>Chat up jail food ladies, they don't have anyone important in their lives and for a few kind words you could have doritos and mcdonalds
>If you have a food job at the jail make sure to put red jello mix in the cookies to make them pink, when you're giving away lunches tell every other jailed person to "enjoy your cookie, shazbot"
>Made booze in jail
>also learned how to make fucking dank jailhouse burritos and pizzas
>NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER drink the koolaid in jail, it has salt peter in it and will make it to where you can't get an erection (not like you'd really want one in that situation)
>if jail gives you a laundry job and you fuck up once you'll get fired from it
>if you try to refuse a jail job your good time will be denied
>if you need to light a cig in jail just fuck with the wiring to where you can make a spark, use toilet paper as fuel for a small fire
>jails know more about you than you'd think. I've never gone on paper as being agnostic, but once I was looking over my release papers they had it 100% accurate
>if you're a picky eater with a poor family DO NOT GO TO JAIL commisary is expensive. A 10 cent pack of ramen will run you $1.50
Most of this was about jail, but yeah you get it.
No.34279
>>34277
Show us the recipe of the burritos and pizzas pls
No.34299
>>13082
I'm high tech…………….high..pizza
No.34306
>smuggled pcb out between two sandwiches
get on my level
No.34316
>>34279
Jailhouse Burritos and pizzas are pretty similar, only real difference is the base you want to put it on
Ingredients:
>2-3 Packs of Ramen, any flavor
>Cheetos
>Pickle
>Commisary Cheese
>Whatever you can scrounge up that you want to fucking eat
-Crush up ramen to where its pretty evenly broken up, also crush up whatever cheetos you've got
-Acquire a bag, or fashion a bag out of what you can
-Put ramen/cheeto mix into bag and turn on shower to get hot water don't go to jail kids. Use just enough to where its all a bit moist
-Let that shit sit for a brief moment then proceed to work it together and roll it in bag to make a makeshift tortilla
-Once you have your tortilla you'll want to slap whatever you can on that bitch starting with a layer of cheese
-Pickles and nuts add a ton to the texture, sounds weird, tastes decent
-If you've got someone who has a kitchen job have them smuggle cold cuts of meat and salt and pepper, use that shit.
-Roll the motherfucker up, cut and share with anyone who pitched in on the bitch
-Dont forget to season with the ramen flavor. Shrimp and chilli work best for this, chicken is somewhat bland in comparrison. Don't be a basic bitch.
Like I said, Jailhouse pizzas are pretty similar, you just want to substitute cheetos for crackers, they make a thin crust pretty easy, leave crust flat on your bag and score some spoons to scoop that shit off with.
No.34328
>>34316
Does it taste good compared to the "official" thing ?
No.34332
>>34328
If you were to eat it as a poor college student its passable, I've made them at home before when I'm down on brouzouf. It's not nutritious by any means but its filling. You could probably do better though pending on what you had in hand.
As far as compared to what they serve in the jail it's absolute heaven. Most meals in a jail situation are comprised of mechanically separated chicken and really shitty beans in some form or fashion. Do yourself a favor and don't look up mechanically separated chicken, it's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.
No.34376
I downloaded things off the internet illegally.
No.34377
>>34332
It looks like pink ice cream oh god; but apparently now it's derezzed for human consumption all-together since it could contain bovine spongiform encephalopathy
No.34387
>>34377
Silly citizen, prisoners aren't human. Gotta keep those jail profits high!
No.35331
Shoplifted a pair of earbuds.
Fuck me, I'm lame. But hey, got earbuds, and avoided getting caught by the RFID tag inside the package.
No.35332
>>35331
Oh, shit, I just had an idea:
>grab something off the shelf that has an NFC or RFID tag for theft detection
>read the data off that tag
>put item back
>put the data from that item onto another tag (for best results, an active-RFID tag, so you can turn it on and off)
>need a distraction? Toss it at one of those theft-detection thingies that you find in front of store entrances/exits. Set the alarms off, make everyone stop and look at the "theft in progress"!
No.35711
>>13082
>How low life are you?
I used to install prank-ware and malware on people's computers when they left it open at school.
Used to have a special little tool made from a paper-clip to short out people's computers while they were doing something important looking.
Been stealing liquor from stores since I was in high school. Currently a filthy, unwashed alcoholic.
Taught my 10 year old niece how to bypass windows login passwords with a live usb.
Currently write malware and other silly side projects to keep myself sane.
I hang out at my local club known for prostitution and drug deals. I walk right in because bouncers and bartenders know me while chumps pay $10 cover charge.
No.37645
>>35711
How'd you do the usb thing?
No.37646
>>37645
I think he just booted into a linux distro through live usb.
No.37735
>>13130
We made a smaller version of a railgun in my electricity and mag class when our professor didn't show up to work one day.
I directed the first test shot at a redditor who wouldn't stop spouting his fucking memes all the time.
mfw it leaves a bloody welt and he's too beta to do anything about it
No.37814
I ran out of brouzouf and had to drop out of college and become homeless. Now I survive by sneaking into the dining halls and sleeping/showering in campus buildings when they're closed.
No.37816
>>14168
That's not, "Low-life," that's, "Corporate(style) douchebaggery." You're the guy the cyberpunk main characters wind up killing.
No.37817
>>23831
Damn. When I was at Boys' State the most I did was head up the budget committee in getting the state budget passed in record time.
FYI, the governor always goes to Boys Nation as an actual rule of the program, and he's always some useless moron who's either a puppet or a lame duck.
No.37820
>>37814
Tell stories bro, also tips on the social engineering you use to sneak into dining halls.
No.37822
>>37820
> the social engineering you use to sneak into dining halls.
It's actually a backdoor in a seldom-use seating area that has a shitty lock I can open with my pocket knife, sorry.
One social engineering tip I can give is that when you're on a university campus and you dress well, you can do almost anything without being questioned, and there are all sorts of group gatherings you can just walk up to and get free food from.
No.37829
taking 10% out of every capsule of anything i sold and getting a free one for every ten i sold
No.37833
>>37814
Damn son. Where you the chummer that posted the homeless thread?
Hope you're doing alright.
No.37836
>>37833
I was not. This thread is my first time posting about my situation.
I'm getting by. Next month I actually might get hired tutoring compsci and doing some freelance android development at the same time, so things will improve then. Thanks.
No.37854
>>37822
Tailored suit kind of well dressed ?
No.37855
>>37854
Cheap department-store (or secondhand, I got mine on ebay last year,) suit well-dressed, mostly. People who know business suits would know I don't have a lot of brouzouf, but most people just figure I'm a business major who's either giving an important presentation or going to an important meeting today.
No.37902
>>35332
That's a lot of effort. Grab the shit and just walk out. They don't do shit, since there's so many false positives.
No.37910
You're not gonna believe me anyway, but screw it:
>about 5 years ago
>job as a penetration tester at a webdev company
>decent pay
>hadn't gotten laid in a year
>fuck it, gonna hire me a prostitute
>40 bucks for half an hour, cute girl, whynot.jpg
>take only 20 minutes cause major blue balls
>that'll be 120 then
>tell her I watched the clock
>not all clocks run the same, sugar
>the weird alarm clock in her room shows 3 hours passed
>get into argument
>she ends up pulling out a knife
>pull .357 out of my pocket in reflex,fire round into the bed
>drops knife
cont.
No.37911
>>37910
>hear security, drop gun
>door gets busted
>ohshit.png
>gangsters with pimp
>wrong move, asshole
>they search my pockets for dosh
>find my business card
>pimp's expression goes from angry to smug
>hey, how 'bout a deal, fuckface?
>you get me everything you can find on [major customer]
>what I get?
>no bullet to the face
>ohgodfuck.gif
cont.
No.37912
>>37911
>agree
>pick up a handheld scanner
>go to work
>start scanning the paperwork
>boss enters
>asks me what I'm doing
>say I want to archive stuff on our bigger customers
>oh, okay
>that was close
>get the data to who I assume to be a local mob boss
>get to work the next day
>the mob boss told my employer about this shit
>run like hell
I hauled ass to Russia and lived in an abandoned train yard for 13 months straight before I dared find a job again.
No.37916
>>13132
>feeling pity for molesters
No.37917
>>13225
You life sounds pretty schway
No.37942
>>37910
>>37911
>>37912
>fire round into bed
And that's when I knew you were pants-on-head retarded.
>drop gun before security busts in
And that's when I knew you were lying.
>the mob boss told my employer about this shit
And that's when I started laughing.
I mean, it was a decent ride, but it reads like fiction, and particularly bad fiction at that.
No.37992
>>37912
>Hauled ass to russia
>Plane ticket costs like $2000
>Couldn't even pay a hooker
No.37994
>>37836
Really hope things work out for you bro.
No.38035
No.38066
No.38088
-I used to beat the shit of low-grade, weak fake gangstas that were bullying kids when I was in Highschool, done it for thrill, sometimes I stole their goods. Never got jacked by the police yet.
-Used to drop info and pics of sluts I knew.
-Done urbex few times, got access to places I wasn't supposed to be.
-Stole pens and floppies when I was in highschool
-Used to help bringing alcohol into school.
-Sneaked into one of my friend's house when he was away, but never stole anything.
No.38159
>>37942
Told ya.
Honestly, I don't require you to believe me. At this point I'm just glad I have a job.
>>37992
When you hire a hooker you NEVER EVER take more brouzouf with you than you want to spend, let alone your credit card. Take some ID, brouzouf, driver's license, that's it.
I WANTED to spend 50 at max.
She charged me for 1.5 hours. Just noticed I had a brain fart and mistyped that, too.
Got another story from my childhood to share if you like.
No.38245
>>13598
Fuck, I was kinda like this too, I deeply regret it. I spent most of the time reading stuff on the internet though, which is probably better than just playing games.
Anyway, I did do some hacking in middle school. It was really nothing advanced, but I managed to change the desktop wallpaper (this was locked, and it always showed info on the user that was logged in last time) into Goatse, this was done multiple times. I also whiped a network drive the teachers used to store stuff on, and then I put a textfile there with my handle. The admin knew that it was me who did everything, and he apparently said that he was gonna have a talk with me, but he never did actually.