[ / / / / / / / / / / / / / ] [ dir / 2hu / fur / htg / kc / madchan / sonyeon / tijuana / vichan ]

/fringe/ - Fringe

Esoteric Wizardry
Winner of the 8th Attention-Hungry Games
/cats/ - ñaa~

Server upgrade almost done. Tweaking kernel and making micro-adjustments to improve site performance. If you find any problems, please report them to /sudo/. Thanks.
Email
Comment *
File
Flag *
* = required field[▶ Show post options & limits]
Confused? See the FAQ.
Embed
(replaces files and can be used instead)
Oekaki
Show oekaki applet
(replaces files and can be used instead)
Options
dicesidesmodifier
Password (For file and post deletion.)

Allowed file types:jpg, jpeg, gif, png, webm, mp4, swf, pdf
Max filesize is 12 MB.
Max image dimensions are 10000 x 10000.
You may upload 5 per post.


RulesMetaModerator LogLibraryArchivesFAQFringe GuideRanksCSS/fringe//asatru//4chon//ask/#looshFringechan

The rules are simple and mostly apply to the creation of threads on /fringe/:
1. No duplicate threads of topics that already exist unless the previous thread has hit the bump limit
2. No making threads just to ask questions, actually present substantial information if you're going to make a thread
3. No creating new threads purely to no-effort shitpost (you will be forgiven if it's a major GET)
4. Post threads that fall under the subject matter of /fringe/ (creepypasta is not allowed here, take that to /x/)
5. Respect anonymity. No identifying posts.
6. Do not sit on the default flag or post with no flag all the time
7. Do not raid/attack the board
8. Meta board discussion goes in >>>/fringemeta/
If the board goes up for claim and the board owner can't be found anywhere, please contact live:chanseywrites on Skype to give the board to her.

File: 1471818864281.jpg (193.65 KB, 966x966, 1:1, esotericshitting.jpg)

 No.82473

The average person spends at least 45 minutes a day defecating. That's 11 days per year, or 2.5 years of your lifetime wasted on inefficient defecation. This is time that can be freed up for personal improvement activities such as meditation. Furthermore, improper defecation leaves you vulnerable to spiritual mischief. In this thread I will uncover the secrets of defecation taught to generations of professional alcoyotes.

The first rule is no premature shitting. Just as we eat when we aren't really hungry, getting fat, we shit before we need to. You should only shit when you have a properly full colon and the need is urgent.

The second rule is to have proper log formation. This is achieved by adding enough fiber to your diet, but not so much that you are constipated. The goal is a uniform, dense log that slides out nice and smoothly without leaving much of a mess. Ideally it would leave next to no mess on your anus. Proper exercise is also crucial to get your guts moving so they can digest properly, as is a good diet not too high in fat.

The third rule is haste. When you shit, push it out firmly and aim to empty your colon completely in a few seconds. If there is any "remainder" (there shouldn't be if you followed the second rule) rock bath and forth on the toilet and/or lift up to bounce up and down a little.

The fourth rule is position. Proper colonical orientation is a force multiplier. The squatting position is ideal, install specialized or trough-style toilets if possible, though squatty potty is also great.

The fifth and final rule is total sanitation. Toilet paper won't do. Try a bidet, incorporating morning defecation with your shower to clean your anus, or in a pinch sit on a sink and clean your anus with soap.

You now know the secrets to master shitting on your way to enlightenment.

 No.82478

pls bann this guy for life.


 No.82481

>>82478

Shill who wants to keep one of the most deeply guarded esoteric secrets from the initiates.


 No.82484

>having shit

>not eating prana

[bullshit occultists detected]


 No.82485

>When you shit, push it out firmly

enjoy your hemorrhoids bullshit occultist


 No.82492

>>82485

Well yeah you don't want to blow a gasket out. Gaia designed us to be able to push out feces for a reason.


 No.82506

>>82473

thank you anon


 No.82511

>>82473

>The fifth and final rule is total sanitation. Toilet paper won't do. Try a bidet, incorporating morning defecation with your shower to clean your anus, or in a pinch sit on a sink and clean your anus with soap.

What about baby wipes? That's what I use, they are pretty amazing.


 No.82528

WOW.

IS.. IS.. IS THIS BOTH SHIT POSTING AND QUALITY POSTING AT THE SAME TIME. FUCKING PARADOXICAL SHIT MAN

Seriously though I thought I was going to be bamboozled but this is some sound advise OP. There's not much worth talking about though.

>>82484

Can this ever actually be possible? When I was young and naive my idealistic mind once thought that a perfect died would consist of eating only what's required and thus there would be no shit produced


 No.82544

ITT: The brownpill.

>tfw shitting on the toilet as I read this thread

Btw, I can not shit while squatting, dunnowhy.


 No.82546

>>82528

You "can" survive without food but only if you are directly absorbing prana from the five elements in balance.

The people who can actually do it are advanced enough to realize why they should keep it a secret.


 No.82680

>>25877

Thank you🙏. I have hemoroids and a terrible diet. I thought something living in my colon for a while as well.


 No.82689

>>82680

What the hell are you responding too?


 No.82690

>>82689

I don't fucking know anymore😂😂😂


 No.82964

>>82544

I have no ass, and I must shit.


 No.82969

File: c6e8027c68b8729⋯.jpg (79.49 KB, 711x246, 237:82, 33535.JPG)


 No.82970

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.


 No.82971

totally man.

the guy who decided people should sit instead of squat, shit in the room they clean themselves and into the water supply has done a great wrong to society.

id rather squat into a hole in the ground that takes it to a compost pile or methane thing.

bathrooms are foul places, especially public toilets. the miasma attracts dark spirits.

people need to start a shitting revolution.


 No.82973

>>82971

PAJEET

you have to go back

POO IN LOO


 No.83008

Jew detected. Jews have pray after shitting. No shit.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asher_yatzar

The prayer goes as follows:

"Blessed are You, Hashem our God, King of the universe, Who formed man with wisdom and created within him many openings and many hollows. It is obvious and known before Your Throne of Glory that if even one of them ruptures, or if even one of them becomes blocked, it would be impossible to survive and to stand before You (even for a short period). Blessed are You, Hashem, Who heals all flesh and acts wondrously."


 No.83033

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

The best part about defecating…

IS TAKING A BIG WARM URINE ENEMA RIGHT AFTER!

OOOOOOOO YEAH!!! YOU HAVEN'T LIVED UNTIL YOU'VE DONE THAT, BOY!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

anything else is kike scat fetish tier


 No.97334

bump


 No.108168

I have been working on my pooping technique and I seriously feel so much better day after day.

I eat a lot of fiber and dry foods, and I now squat when I poop. I can't remember a time when my poops were more efficient.

Expelling all of those toxins that are just lingering in your GI tract is crucial.


 No.108170

Here is a nice little guide to the various kinds of fiber and the foods you can find them in.

http://kriscarr.com/blog/tips-to-live-in-harmony-with-high-fiber-foods/


 No.109164

>The average person spends at least 45 minutes a day defecating.

lol what

i spend like… 5 minutes and take a shower afterwards

the metaphysics of shitting is unironically interesting though op




[Return][Go to top][Catalog][Nerve Center][Post a Reply]
Delete Post [ ]
[]
[ / / / / / / / / / / / / / ] [ dir / 2hu / fur / htg / kc / madchan / sonyeon / tijuana / vichan ]