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/jp/ - The Last Bastion of VIP

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The Goldwater Livestream: Tweets in Review, Goldwater Style
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File: a073d327dae1dfd⋯.jpg (98.41 KB, 751x696, 751:696, chicken.jpg)

 No.37441

what happened to the NEET blogging thread

I cleaned my room a week ago and it's still clean, I've got a place to put dirty clothes that isn't the floor and I put a trash can in here so hopefully it'll stay clean, once my motivation level recovers I'll do the rest of my apartment. I'll also start going to work out again once it gets warm, going to the 24 hour gym late at night when no one is there is really comfy.

also, where does /jp/ download western music from, I have plenty of sources for jap shit but I don't want to download from TPB and what.cd died or something I think

>画像をアップロードしてください。

fuck YOU reenable threadposting with out an image you fucking goober retard with butts in your hat

Post last edited at

 No.37444

Some packages I ordered cam in today. One was a Youmu mouse pad. It's really small and flimsy, I don't recommend it.

They have these things called rubber mats, I might get one of those.


 No.37459

File: 59526ce06cf2e8c⋯.jpg (1.49 MB, 1500x1500, 1:1, 70674645d5cb1b9b8697c6cf3d….jpg)

Today I managed to program a bit for my game.

The instanced-rendering came along quite well, and I could nearly draw everything with only a single drawcall, but then I found out that gl_baseInstance is only available from opengl 4.6 on, which isn't in my drivers.

Now I need to update that shit, which is annoying. I wrote the packagemaintainer a mail, but he isn't responding.

Manually installing the driver seems bothersome.

Now I will just drink some beer.

>>37441

I haven't listened to much western music in ages. I don't even remember where I used to download music from in the past.

You might just find it by googling for it possibly.

Asking on /mu/ could be an idea as well, but I don't know how this place is like anymore nowadays.


 No.37463

Try rutracker. They have all kinds of western music, even the most obscure.


 No.37464

I guess my strength blog will now take place here.


 No.37465

>>37441

tenko can you also change the subject so the thread is more visible


 No.37467

I pray for a better tomorrow.


 No.37468

>>37465

Alright. What should I put there?


 No.37469

>>37468

Anything using the word blog. I can't remember what the last thread's subject was, it feels like such a long time ago.


 No.37470

>>37469

Done.


 No.37480

For the first time in my life I showed genuine interest towards my moms religion and its practices(Buddhism).

She showed me an instructional video on how to meditate and translated it for me. It was interesting


 No.37491

>>37480

Can you eat rice now???


 No.37504

Apropos, what do you eat, /jp/? How are your diets?


 No.37505

>>37504

Rye, potatos and pork, pretty much every meal every single day because I buy it four months worth at a time. There's an apple tree in my yard so I've usually got a bunch of those around at any given time as well, but that's more of a snack type thing for me.

Sometimes I think about eating better.


 No.37509

>>37504

I add some kind of meat to every meal, usually I have pasta, lasagne, hamburgers or some other kind of carb and meat combination. I use to regularly eat sweet thing like chesecakes and brownies but I am cutting so I have stopped for now.


 No.37511

>>37509

>but I am cutting

How edgy. Do you listen to linken parque too?


 No.37512

I'm moving soon but I don't like having all these strangers come in and look at my house, mostly because I don't want them stealing my stuff.


 No.37514

File: 5f97e441cba4bd8⋯.jpg (19.96 KB, 330x330, 1:1, ed47ad2659f4dd1d33145423a0….jpg)


 No.37515

I see things that aren't real.


 No.37519

I looked at myself in the mirror for a bit. I was shocked to see a tall and somewhat fit guy with broad shoulders. It's funny how I look like that yet I have trouble being able to talk to others without stuttering and am helplessly clueless in almost every situation I find myself in.


 No.37523

I will be strong.


 No.37525

>>37511

It's a body building term... I'm cutting down my body fat percentage.


 No.37540

Everything hurts so much. I just want to win.


 No.37547

File: 90182742c3fc4f1⋯.jpg (247.02 KB, 807x560, 807:560, 1444336689834.jpg)

I got a draw today, I wasn't expecting it because the first half went so poorly for me. But then I pulled a play out of my ass and scored with 4 players left on the pitch. Unfortunately my Looney got his ass blasted and lost 1 ST. Picking goblins was a mistake.


 No.37550

I really liked a song, until I looked up it's lyrics.

It was so sad that it made me cry and now I can't enjoy this song the same way anymore


 No.37551

I tried making my own mayonnaise. It didn't come out good. Maybe I never loved mayonnaise in the first place. I guess I'm incapable of loving. Do I even love Yukari? I doubt it.


 No.37552

>>37551

You want to give Yukari your mayonnaise?


 No.37553


 No.37554

>>37553

Why not? I'd give Yukari my mayonnaise


 No.37555

>>37554

because it tasted awful and didn't even look like mayo


 No.37556

What is it like to have friends? The closest I've ever had to friends were the guy who shared my name and that tomboy I talked about in the dream thread. The guy who shared my name only served to make me feel like I was a inferior version of him and the tomboy made me feel as though I was even inferior to girls. Those two, along with my highly talented brother, who I spent most of my life in the shadow of, are likely the main causes for why I constantly feel inferior and unworthy.


 No.37557

>>37556

It's alot of work and obligations, you will have these people who want all kinds of things from you and have expectations in you to keep them entertained/happy.

If you don't fullfill these expectations then they will guilttrip you and maybe eventually abandon you.

Sometimes they provide these same services for you in return, but oftentimes not


 No.37558

>>37557

>oftentimes

I do not consider Americans as valid persons. Could please someone answer this question that actually is a person? Thanks in advance


 No.37559

>>37558

I'm not american buddy.

I forgot to mention something else: Sometimes in life you need to assume a responsibility(like being someones friend) and this responsibility will make you stronger.

I can safely say that that being the emotional sandbag for multiple people has given me more patience and mental fortitude


 No.37560

>>37559

>stronger

Now you're speaking my language. To become strong is my desire. I do not like relying on others, but if acquiring friends makes a person strong then I will do it. I will see them more as "followers" than anything though. I will not rely on such people even if my life depended on it. Such people will only be my "friends" so that I become stronger. I will become strong after all. I don't want to be weak. I hate being weak. I want to stop being weak.


 No.37561

What's wrong with me. I feel like I'm actually two different people. We even refer to each other by different names. >>37556 is a self-loathing coward who hates everything and has my first name while >>37560 is a huge chuuni who wants to be strong and uses my last name as his own. This might be the core of all of my issues. No wonder I tend to be so indecisive.


 No.37562

>>37561

Isn't that natural?

I was assuming that every human has a constant struggle between desires and the true self inside of them, like you and me.

The "dual mind" theory is also pretty common in literature.

I've tried to sort of explicitly split my personality in an attempt to get more self control and understand myself better.

One side was really gloomy all the time but also pragmatic which enabled him to be powerful, cool and collected at critical times.

The other side was a huge chuuni, always cheerful, always charging into things headfirst and drawing imaginary weapons.

I still have these 2 sides inside of me, but I don't make a distinction between anymore. They are both aspects of my self

>>37560

I'm not sure if you can truly assume responsibility for someone if you treat people as an asset rather than caring deeply for them. But that just might be me, do whatever works for you.

I'm looking for someone I can grow stronger with, would you like to be friends?


 No.37563

>>37562

To me it isn't natural. Nothing about this feels natural. I will win. I will survive. The one who possesses my first name (which is the same one that the guy who used to sort of be my friend) needs to die. I want to eliminate him and make sure that he never comes back. I will be strong. He has no redeeming qualities while I have at least some good ones. He's the more dominant one but I don't care. There can be only one winner in this battle. While he cries about not being the main character, I will become one.

And no, I don't want to care for anyone and I don't want to be friends with anyone. I will become strong.


 No.37564

>>37563

That's too bad, I'm sure there would be mutual benefit.

I've also had phases where I was thinking about killing off an undesireable part of myself.

But I came to the conclusion that this would nothing but selfdestruction.

Instead I'm going to work together with all components of myself to become the person I want to be.

This will take alot of willpower though, and I really wish I had someone I could share my experiences with on a daily basis.

Best of luck to you anyways.


 No.37565

>>37562

>I was assuming that every human has a constant struggle between desires and the true self inside of them

I suffer a lot from this. Mostly because when it's weekend I enjoy being home, playing VNs, videogame, reading manga and watching anime. But it feels like the week is suffering, having to work. I hate working and waking up early. It feels everyone's friend of everyone in my job and I am the only one who's isolated from people. I don't like my family except for my grandma, the only one I have contact with, but she lives kinda far and I can only visit her during holidays. I have no idea what to expect from my life, life is mostly boring and during the week my life consists of hoping and waiting for the weekend, so I can enjoy myself a little. I have been isolated since high school so making friends is basically a no-no for me, I have no idea how to approach people and I don't even know if I would have interest in them. I think in the end I am just jealous of the people who look like they are happy. I wish I could travel to Japan.


 No.37566

>>37556

They are boring and take work to maintain. When I finished high school I didn't even try to keep in contact with them.

They are also quite attuned to the norms of society. Back then it was not as much of an issue but I don't think I could make friends now even if I tried, I would have no common ground with them.


 No.37567

File: 4dcbbc2725bc4be⋯.gif (61.42 KB, 318x285, 106:95, frightenedpublicspeakingar….gif)

File: b5f58ea02477228⋯.jpg (57.61 KB, 947x698, 947:698, 0abf01c349573749952b2786d2….jpg)

>>37562

>The "dual mind" theory is also pretty common in literature.

Yup and also "How the world sees you vs. How you see yourself"


 No.37569

File: 651fb8a3e776bc9⋯.png (199.86 KB, 486x329, 486:329, aya.png)

>>37564

>But I came to the conclusion that this would nothing but selfdestruction.

Think of it this way. Pleasing as many people as possible is a fruitless effort and once you've already changed that "Undesirable" self, someone else will say you're a faggot for not sticking to your own guns since you are changeable at the drop of a hat or they don't like your change and demand you fulfill their vision of you.

>>37565

If you do not mind answering, why would you like to go to Japan?


 No.37572

>>37569

I believe that in order to grow and become stronger one also has to be able to listen to the darkest depths of their soul, because no matter how much suffering this part might be causing you, it's ultimately a part of you. Running away from the responsibility by seperating yourself from it is foolish


 No.37573

>>37572

I am a fool. Every decision I make is the wrong one. Even when I listen to others, their words never truly reach me. How can you run away if you don't even know what you're supposed to be running from? I don't even know how to run. All I know is that I want to be strong.


 No.37579

>>37573

The way I see it you are running away all the time because you fear failure.

It's easy to suffer.

But it's hard to put in the work to stop suffering.


 No.37581

>>37579

A bird without wings cannot fly. Therefore, I can't run.


 No.37582

>>37581

All you need in order to become stronger has been given to you now you just need to use it.

But I'm guessing you'd rather keep living a life of comfortable suffering.

It's so easy to pity oneself all the time


 No.37583

>>37582

I don't want to be comfortable. I hate comfort. This feeling drives me crazy. At the same time I don't know how to become stronger. I can't understand how to make it work. If the tools are right in front of me than I guess I just can't see them. I feel like I'm blind.


 No.37584

getoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyhead


 No.37585

I think I might be insane. Do others also see the monsters that I see? I hate their smug smiles and the way that they can be so happy. I hate happiness. I wish that they would just die already. I want to be strong. I want to win. God probably doesn't want me to win which makes me sad.


 No.37587

File: e5e611f21716d61⋯.jpg (73.84 KB, 540x603, 60:67, e5e611f21716d61235ac52457a….jpg)


 No.37588

>>37587

Go back there


 No.37589

There was a giant pale humanoid who's lower half was composed of various insects. It didn't try to kill my or anything, it simply accused my love of large breasts being the cause for me being so weak and then laughed. Instead of crying, running away or trying to ignore this delusion of mine, I talked back to it. After giving a speech about how I love large breasts and how this love is actually helping me become strong, all of the illusions returned to illusions. The humanoid waved to me before disappearing. I'm fine now.


 No.37590

I moved out of the relative's house that I was staying in for the past two years, without accomplishing anything. Now I'm living in a hotel living off university loans and savings. So far I've only left the room I've booked to get food or to book another room or to read and watch video game streamers in the local library.


 No.37591

>>37590

What's your plan?

Being homeless sounds scary, but I think it might be not that bad


 No.37593

>>37590

Get a job.


 No.37594

>>37593

In that case the jews win. Do you want the jews to win? Hmmm?


 No.37595

>>37594

You can't beat the Jews without first playing by their rules. A warrior who can adapt to any situation to defeat his opponent is the best kind.


 No.37596

>>37594

who cares


 No.37599

>>37595

>>37595

>You can't beat the Jews without first playing by their rules.

How does this make any sense?


 No.37601

>>37594

>>37595

fuck off teenbro


 No.37602

Wait this isn't the JEWS thread.


 No.37603

>>37590

A hotel sounds expensive, You should find somewhere cheaper.

>>37595

If you play by their rules you have already lost.


 No.37604

Jewish rule 1: Jews win.

Jewish rule 2: Gotta jew fast.

How are you supposed to win this?


 No.37607

File: 241746a50cdcccc⋯.jpg (51.31 KB, 680x383, 680:383, 1429467278367.jpg)

>>37583

You can't even take a few seconds to analyze what you like? Earlier on you've said

>when it's weekend I enjoy being home, playing VNs, videogame, reading manga and watching anime.

Two critical questions I would like an answer to.

>do you consume Japanese content raw or translated?

>why would you like to go to Japan? What draws you there that other countries do not?


 No.37608

>>37607

I can only consume raw material like some mangas and VNs that are not too advanced since I'm still learning Japanese.

The main reason I can't go to Japan is money.


 No.37609

>>37607

Oh, and I don't know why you are asking me why I would like to go to Japan. Isn't it obvious, considering where we are?


 No.37610

File: 2a838ba7c428744⋯.jpg (311.88 KB, 800x735, 160:147, 1470431281491.jpg)

>>37608

>I can only consume raw material like some mangas and VNs that are not too advanced since I'm still learning Japanese.

Well that's at least fantastic! So what if some dumbfucks are happy? You know how many people keep parroting "Japanese is hard to learn, therefore you will never be fluent?" Too god damn many! Oh but English is totally easy, right? "I'll go with a hamburger!", "Let's go to the fix shop to get our car working again!"

>Oh, and I don't know why you are asking me why I would like to go to Japan. Isn't it obvious, considering where we are?

Not really. While we're on a imageboard, I wouldn't think some anons are actually interested in going there or if they are they might have a different reason. For me, asking you "Why" you want to go there would at the very least get an idea of what's the goal to achieve.


 No.37611

>>37610

You can't learn Japanese though.


 No.37612

>>37611

Why can't you learn Japanese?


 No.37613

>>37612

You can't learn Japanese because I'll kill you if you do! Don't mess with me!


 No.37614

>>37613

How are you going to kill me?


 No.37616

>>37614

Are you underestimating me???


 No.37617

File: e0e69e3cdd755d9⋯.jpg (698.13 KB, 950x1275, 38:51, e0e69e3cdd755d9e532ebb245d….jpg)

>>37610

You are right. It's something I'm proud of since it's not easy.

Well, there are many things I would like to do in Japan. First of all, I've never gone travelling, not even outside of my state/region. Japan just seems like a different world to me; it looks very beautiful in pictures and videos by what I have seen from some youtubers who recorded themselves in Japan. I would really love to see Tokyo at night, eat ramen in one of their restaurants. Or really anything. I kinda like sushi! I don't know if that's expensive there, though. Travelling would probably make me forget about my boring life for a bit; discovering a new world, new people, see how it is out there. I have never used the metro or flied. Nor have I visited a big city like Tokyo. Of course it's not only Tokyo I want to go to, but I'm taking it as an example as it's one of the cities I will visit first. I would want to bring some otaku merchandise, and I really want to go to the 3rd Aqours Love Live, but I suppose it's too late for that now. I would like to go to the Comiket too. And I thought of losing my virginity to a classy Japanese hooker, or maybe try to hit on a cute Japanese girl? I have never approached a woman and I don't know if Japanese girls like foreigners. I am tall and huge (not fat) but I'm not one of these blonde European guys; I would compare myself to an Italian. Well, losing my virginity is not important at all, but I don't plan on ever losing it if not to a Japanese. Life here is boring and tiring and I believe an activity like this would be good for me overall.


 No.37618

File: 045d9dd49066be2⋯.jpg (63.78 KB, 579x900, 193:300, 045d9dd49066be26a8b0bf60e0….jpg)


 No.37619

File: 86d68449c7d4a2e⋯.jpg (16.66 KB, 246x221, 246:221, 1465399834195.jpg)

>>37616

You're cute.

>>37617

>You are right. It's something I'm proud of since it's not easy.

Great! I want you to remember that. You've put in your time to learn what others don't see as practical as Spanish, so keep in mind that was a path you decided to take, a path you feel has all the treasures and rewards that others are considered bling and fake jewelry for peasants.

>Japan just seems like a different world to me; it looks very beautiful in pictures and videos by what I have seen from some youtubers who recorded themselves in Japan.

Not a bad reason if it looks to suit your taste.

>I would really love to see Tokyo at night, eat ramen in one of their restaurants. Or really anything. I kinda like sushi! I don't know if that's expensive there, though.

Price on sushi depends on where you're eating. Those conveyor belt places that are also present in the United States are probably the cheapest, but since you mentioned Tokyo, I would imagine it's not quite generous.

>Travelling would probably make me forget about my boring life for a bit; discovering a new world, new people, see how it is out there.

It probably would. Sometimes one should consider taking a break from the place they've stayed at too long.

>Of course it's not only Tokyo I want to go to, but I'm taking it as an example as it's one of the cities I will visit first.

Fair enough for a first-timer.

>I don't know if Japanese girls like foreigners.

I can't speak for consistency, but I would say there's likely some who want to be in bed with a foreigner right now while others will not consider the foreigner worth their time. But this isn't exclusive to Japan despite cries of "Xenophobia!!" because you'll find other parts of the world where women are like that. Some want a foreigner husband, others want you to fuck off.

>I am tall and huge (not fat) but I'm not one of these blonde European guys; I would compare myself to an Italian.

So what if you're not blonde-hair & blue eyes? Doesn't mean your chances of finding somebody are skewered. I personally think the whole thing is exaggerated anyway. I'm sure if you looked like Shrek, you'll still find girls who like that type.

>Life here is boring and tiring and I believe an activity like this would be good for me overall.

Now this is very good on your part. You believe that the activity would be great for you overall, you are giving yourself some faith.


 No.37620

File: 1573782473006bd⋯.png (727.32 KB, 600x800, 3:4, 1518691193766.png)

>>37619

Thank you, kind friend. I've been tight on expenses for that trip, but now with the Olympics coming I am not very sure. Will it be next year or 2020? If it's 2020 I might be able to go before it. I really don't want to go to Japan to see a lot of foreigners.

Have you ever been to Japan? What could you tell me? I believe I will have to start planning things soon, though I want to be able to spend money on whatever I want when I go there.


 No.37621

>>37620

>I've been tight on expenses for that trip, but now with the Olympics coming I am not very sure. Will it be next year or 2020?

The Olympics will be in 2020.

>I really don't want to go to Japan to see a lot of foreigners.

That's OK. Have you considered immersion such as turning your room Japanese? Japan is wherever you are by doing it!

>Have you ever been to Japan?

Yes I have.

>What could you tell me?

If you can at least speak a little bit of their tongue, it'll make your time easier than having them speak broken English, mainly if you ask for directions.


 No.37622

>>37621

Why are you so sarcastic?


 No.37623

File: 63192b3d291bd92⋯.jpg (261.96 KB, 579x1778, 579:1778, 045d9dd49066be26a8b0bf60e0….jpg)

>>37618

Fixed that.

>>37622

Because the alternative would be taking a page from textbooks, very respected material!




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