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/fur/ - Furry

Making Anthro Great Again

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File: 7710081b2749e5a⋯.png (24 KB, 661x221, 661:221, kemo death.png)

 No.8529[Reply]

Check here before posting

Your posts will be auto-deleted if you're not whitelisted

If you'd like to be added to the whitelist, so you may post when its ON ask as a response to this post: >>9488

Kemothera.py

whitelist: On

carpet bomb (spam clean-up): inactive

Threads may get bumped but have no replies because the user was not on Kemo's whitelist.

ServiceBot

whitelist status: active

opt-in IDs: active

If you want a thread with IDs, add a ~ to the beginning of your thread subject. This will activate IDs in that thread.

Use the catalog

We may have a script to merge threads in the future but for now try to keep the board clean without useless clutter.

We have both NSFW and SFW threads. And two general porn dumps.

>>13863

>>4874

Looking to find some artists on something specific? Don't create a thread for it, use the sauce thread >>186

If you're going to create a thread, try to be as general as you can so it has the best chance to get replies. Bad OPs or dead threads may be pruned, edited or anchored.

----------

01/09/17 Update:

Threads are scrambled because some spammed leaked in while Kemo was paused. Kemo is back on for now and the spam is cleaned up.

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
520 posts and 307 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.
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 No.15147

File: 039b8df0d389c98⋯.png (332.04 KB, 500x500, 1:1, Richard.png)

>>15136

You have been added to the whitelist. Enjoy posting.

Post last edited at



File: 1431659882705.png (72.16 KB, 2176x1536, 17:12, furry.png)

 No.167[Reply]

Welcome to 8chan's board for furry related discussion and content.

The idea here is to foster discussion and content creation as we share our interests. In contrast most furry communities tend to prioritize being porn dumps.

If others are a porn boards with discussion, /fur/ is a discussion board with porn.

Rules:

https://sys.8ch.net/fur/rules.html

Features:

https://sys.8ch.net/fur/features.html

Mod Log:

https://8ch.net/log.php?board=fur

Feedback would be greatly appreciated, as it helps the board strive more. This board will grow one day, and we only wish to make it better.

290 posts and 55 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.
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 No.15144

File: 2d21317ab4de3b5⋯.png (22.01 KB, 434x347, 434:347, ClipboardImage.png)

There was a temporary suspension of adding any rando anon to the whitelist due to scheming from /leftypol/ trying to brew up a raid dragging multiple boards into it, including threatening /fur/.

There's a thread about it on >>>/sudo/19965

A whole lot of nothing happened and so because /leftypol/ is so low energy everything is back to normal.




File: 331f789dba9a91e⋯.png (184.23 KB, 800x800, 1:1, tt.png)

 No.4225[Reply]

"Time to stop making a new thread for each theme" Edition

Current Theme: >>11991

>What's a theme thread?

It's simple. At any one time there is an active theme, and you create something related to it.

Drawings, stories, animations, etc. Whatever suits you!

When a theme is switched out whatever you created for that theme will be uploaded to:

http://8-booru.booru.org/index.php under the tag /fur/

http://www.furaffinity.net/user/8fur/

https://8fur.sofurry.com/

Unless you wish to specify otherwise.

Previous Threads:

Thread 1 - http://archive.is/5HwRO

Thread 2 - http://archive.is/SA1EQ

Thread 3 - http://archive.is/LLkoA

56 posts and 21 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.
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 No.14799

You know I realized it'll probably be better just to forget the bump locks for stickies. There shouldn't actually be a problem noticing the Board Status thread if it isn't the first of the three.




File: 1471721669040-0.jpg (108.72 KB, 800x569, 800:569, 1357865812.kacey_engrossed.jpg)

File: 1471721669040-1.png (629.75 KB, 585x800, 117:160, 1458433086.trunorth_coffee….png)

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File: 1471721669041-4.png (182.91 KB, 1280x703, 1280:703, 1415077342.pockyrumz_breez….png)

 No.3501[Reply]

What does /fur/ do in their free time?

Do you out with your friends, go around cruising in your car, or just take a simple walk? Do you relax by watching tv, reading a book, listening to music, playing some vidya, or browsing the web? Are you spending your time improving your craft, or learning a new skill?

Don't state the obvious by saying you spend your time shitposting and masturbating. That's something all of us do.

32 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.15116

>>13921

compulsive fantasizers are not schizoids even if some schizoids are compulsive fantasizers


 No.15121

>>3501

>nothing to do with furry stuff

>Literal blogposting thread

The one thing I wanted here to avoid. God damn it, guys.


 No.15122

>>15116

I never said they were. I was saying that Schizoids ascribe more reality to their fantasies than they do to reality.


 No.15130

File: 8585db291920867⋯.gif (919.8 KB, 356x313, 356:313, 1429717306772.gif)

>Friends

haha yes friends i have a lot of those yep


 No.15150

File: e783c74435fc217⋯.jpg (55.72 KB, 603x841, 603:841, gote_web.jpg)

getting stronger. I'd say I'm around 13-14k

Any of you play? I really need someone to play against.




File: 1471399074506.png (667.01 KB, 900x756, 25:21, 1470189040571-3.png)

 No.2094[Reply]

The one ovee on /furry/ has reached the bump limit. Let's hope the spam doesn't kill it here.

70 posts and 155 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.14630

>>14602

Why? How do you really define between the two, anyway?


 No.14795

>>14621

>>14607

>>14611

>>14621

Are there any non-feral fics that do this sort of thing decently?


 No.14860


 No.15135

File: 1e0801144f87589⋯.png (937.93 KB, 1200x1078, 600:539, ef0281c4dd64c3c5bd821dc335….png)

>A woman is feeling particularly dehumanised as a scientist feels across her inner thigh inappropriately. Not simply because of her treatment, her nudity or that she is leashed to the table on all fours like some sort of beast. But as she peers back at the man poking and prodding her leg, she cannot help but notice... notice herself.

>The blue rubbery skin taking hold across her body, the paws that she called her own, the thick finned tail that rested on the metallic table. It's coldness seeping into the flesh of the bestial limb, its feelings her own. These weren't the anatomical traits of a human being, yet they were part of her none the less.

>She cannot help but blush as the man inspects her nudity, feels across areas only those but her most intimate lovers had ever seen; never mind touched. But it is clinical, purposeful, there was no attraction there. Him simply inspecting her progress, her development into something else. Her form too changed and twisted, too distorted and disfigured to be of any interest to a human male.

>In time she will be all gone, the blue coating her form and her identity wiped from her face. Any lingering fears of inspection by her human captors being an irrational insecurity, as they wouldn't be attracted to the beast she is becoming. Until then, she'd be between worlds, a human with a whipping tail and claws. At the very least she could offer some resistance during her journey into the animal kingdom, giving those inconsiderate male scientists something to remember her by.


 No.15149

>>3739

>>3740

>>3741

This is the TF equivalent of those stories where a character goes in search of buried treasure and finds out the real treasure is friendship or a bible or some shit.




File: ad6911be0ac8531⋯.png (1.02 MB, 1280x1600, 4:5, 7ca871d9daa0f84f4724d615db….png)

File: e769cfd25ce5cb5⋯.jpg (134.84 KB, 1280x960, 4:3, de440ab6067095536f4f3df733….jpg)

 No.4874[Reply]

This is the general g/fur thread, kicked off with some jockstraps.

Hot dudes and gay pairings are the name of the game. Lewd topics that are too specific for their own threads go in generals like these.

IDs are enabled so you can filter what you don't like. Go to: Options -> Filters

There you can filter by subject.

If you don't use the Board Specific CSS theme please add this to your User Specific CSS in the options. This will make things look much nicer and works regardless of your theme.

http://pastebin.com/GzQx8JgZ

66 posts and 207 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.
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 No.14876

>>14834

I don't think you have much of a saying when you are getting raped

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 No.14986

File: 8162476690b61cd⋯.jpg (163.64 KB, 707x1200, 707:1200, CrDIDMmUMAAjJ68.jpg)

File: 7435af1800583c0⋯.jpg (57.5 KB, 600x847, 600:847, CbB6nuwUkAE4-YK.jpg)

File: debd71fbfd45685⋯.jpg (88.14 KB, 600x839, 600:839, Ch9Fm1CUYAAw0LQ.jpg)

File: eac17d62b28a50a⋯.jpg (426.96 KB, 1280x1280, 1:1, tumblr_nmfrcnS2Bt1tmafy4o1….jpg)

File: b2d5bc40821cc9f⋯.jpg (93.21 KB, 600x687, 200:229, tumblr_nydspnKAJp1sjlec0o1….jpg)

I find the first picture funny.

Post last edited at

 No.14998

File: 4883c433005e281⋯.jpg (394.55 KB, 1622x962, 811:481, 3c34c1035fa7dc5c0798ec30b7….jpg)

File: 23e34f768c75eea⋯.jpg (136.66 KB, 1024x1024, 1:1, 43a11c7417829ccc73141b98e1….jpg)

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File: f3d310b90d0b5e2⋯.jpg (234.47 KB, 850x707, 850:707, 51e6cb477ca31de00d48ba50a8….jpg)

>>14986

> last pic

yeah we got a job at the hot guy cafe!!!!

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 No.14999

>>14833

He's a big bird.

Post last edited at

 No.15148

File: 0f5d8ee67ca730c⋯.png (970.08 KB, 1280x799, 1280:799, ass.png)

File: ba467738f2284a1⋯.jpg (519.75 KB, 1700x1093, 1700:1093, a7770e8d0db5437db8a9a22a5c….jpg)

File: 300ad8a389c9762⋯.jpg (200.3 KB, 1280x854, 640:427, no7hqyLfAV1tj9jfwo1_1280.jpg)

File: 1287b38caf25f73⋯.jpg (85.97 KB, 800x556, 200:139, tumblr_o548t7wW6H1uehrq1o1….jpg)

File: f3ba16bd57d53de⋯.jpg (484.92 KB, 1280x1071, 1280:1071, tumblr_noevneVHuW1tj9jfwo1….jpg)

contributing...

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File: 151785dd09f4b9c⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image, 701 KB, 1046x1100, 523:550, 79d25163a1e2386e1eb9629548….jpg)

 No.14762[Reply]

Since my Nightstalker thread was too specific, how about a general Fallout thread instead? Share all the creatures from the wastes you like.

>Bonus points for Nightstalkers still

48 posts and 26 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.15008

>>15005

got a fetish for lamination anon?


 No.15011

>>15008

You mean for the shiny stuff? I mean I like latex catsuits and leather and stuff, but I just really meant it as 3D sexy stuffs haha


 No.15061

File: bee9ac1fbd606de⋯.jpg (200.19 KB, 500x614, 250:307, nightstalker_by_artistic_a….jpg)

Doesn't have to be porn only guys, safe pics are fine too.


 No.15120

>>14973

>My only hope is that Avellone's work on Prey2 is simply the precursor to him taking the reigns on another Fallout project, since Obsidian can no longer be trusted with the IP.

The series is dead. Bethesda is irredeemable.

>>15001

I hate how Bethesda decided that every dog companion has to be called Dogmeat.

Honestly, Deathclaws aren't very fappable.


 No.15145

>>15120

I'm not really into deathclaws myself; I can appreciate their looks when drawn to BE sexy but eh. And I just call all dog companions Dogmeat because I'm too used to it. Like I said earlier, 900+ hours in 3




File: 15051e0f95d7663⋯.jpg (10.95 KB, 260x260, 1:1, 4aa5594252ac2114e7b8376f38….jpg)

 No.4430[Reply]

89 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.14983

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

 No.15064

I got the feeling that Todex knows exactly how to get around the bot.


 No.15073

>>14983

Don't really know why you're replying that way...

Updater's still broken.


 No.15079

Didn't bui come up with a system of updating Patreons with upfront charging by using code? All it requires is paying patrons to input the code of a post and the post on the artist's Patreon is added to yiff.party.

I know a system like that is/was being worked on. Don't know if it ever went live or was even finished.


 No.15143




File: 23c056af7ee26bd⋯.jpg (46.76 KB, 770x360, 77:36, cf01d1212e389a7a860c30e0d9….jpg)

 No.14486[Reply]

>ctrl-f

>no BD thread

>I tried making one like 4 times but was too autistic to know about the whitelist

Please post about animal shaped cocks and holes.

I just ordered a large Rex from BD and I'm excited. It's the first toy from them I've ever bought, and I got it in the color I wanted for no extra cost because I was lucky enough to find an adoption that was literally everything I was going to pay for anyway.

If this thread gets autodeleted I'm gonna blow my head off

93 posts and 32 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.15021

>>15018

Canines, of course (but I already have not one, but TWO dog dildos, so I don't need another). Knots are really fun, but I was thinking of getting a toy that's better for thrusting all the way in, and so has a more gentle taper, instead of something I push in only part of the way, and have to struggle a bit to get in the rest.

I'm looking at the measurements and running into what I suspect is a common problem: medium seems too small (pretty much the size of what I've already got) but large is too big (often at or above the most I can currently stretch). Honestly, I'm sure the mediums are fine and I'm just not able to accurately picture the size based on measurements.


 No.15045

>>15021

Edit:

So I rechecked some of those measurements. I found out that the back end of my goddamn JT penetrable is about 9" in circumference. Hooooly shit. There's no way I can get something that huge up my ass, taper or none, and I don't even think I want to try. So mediums it is!


 No.15062

I keep getting those spam emails for "dating sites" and the spam script is including credit card numbers

so every time I get one I check if it's a valid card when I find one that is i'm ordering some things under the name of a man who has been committing mortgage fraud with my phone number


 No.15075

>>15045

Circumference I find kind of misleading with cocks. You can make taking something 2 or 3 inches in diameter sound like getting raped with a 2 liter when it's really not that bad.

I am kind of a size queen though


 No.15108

>>15075

3" in diameter, or about 9" in circumference is about the size of an average person's fist. That's not the kind of thing most people can do without a lot of practice and a long time stretching beforehand. I've been sticking things in my ass since kindergarten and I still have trouble managing something that size.




File: db7036cb7a20d9d⋯.jpg (289.9 KB, 710x642, 355:321, 3752da87e370b18cb8a0dacb6a….jpg)

 No.9516[Reply]

If a little furry girl one day showed up on someone's doorstep who happened to be a furry into cubs, do you think he'd be able to keep his dick in check and raise her like a responsible parent without ever molesting her?

Could you, anon?

50 posts and 14 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.15124

>>15110

Christians have used the Bible to start the Crusades; it doesn't mean that it literally says anywhere in there "God commands you to murder everyone who is not Christian". Similarly, the Koran does not anywhere literally say "Allah commands you to murder everyone who is not Muslim". But just like dozens of vague stories by Nostradamus can be interpreted to be predictions to manifold historical events (and people will believe it), dozens of vague parables in scripture can be interpreted to be calls to arms.

When I was in school, we were taught the Bible in English Literature class, as literature, not as fact or history. As it should be. It's all too easy to turn idiots into your own private army when you start the brainwashing young. Just look at all the schmucks in the US military, so eager to die in a desert somewhere for "liberty" or "democracy", when they're fresh out of high school.


 No.15133

>>15124

Eh, not really. People choose the military because of financial and job opportunities that aren't available to them by the private sector.

I don't know how this thread was derailed though.


 No.15134

>>15133

I think it's about over now, but if it derails the thread further it should be cleaned up.


 No.15141

>>15133

>I don't know how this thread was derailed though

Someone mentioned Muslims. Someone else was massively triggered by this and made a claim that is factually false (all Muslims are from the Middle East) as a vehicle to justify their bigotry, and once proven wrong he lost his shit.


 No.15142

This is where the thread derailed

>>9739

>A large group of sentient beings, biological clones or not, is a race

>>12356

>Also, people treat Muslim as arace when they really shouldn't




File: e0c784ae9df3db4⋯.png (Spoiler Image, 232.13 KB, 1022x842, 511:421, 9bc028758a9b343769c189e3b9….png)

File: 7e339b0e94ad4f7⋯.jpg (878.24 KB, 1265x1200, 253:240, 39539826_p3.jpg)

File: dcf493755f4986d⋯.jpg (267.14 KB, 1101x900, 367:300, c6ad7f8405c8a0865a5335e74e….jpg)

File: dcf493755f4986d⋯.jpg (267.14 KB, 1101x900, 367:300, c6ad7f8405c8a0865a5335e74e….jpg)

File: 11d5ef7ece3bc19⋯.jpg (275.13 KB, 768x1024, 3:4, 1457900178411-3.jpg)

 No.7633[Reply]

Because I don't think I've yet to see a single debate on if it's really pedophilia on this board.

33 posts and 51 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.15103

File: 2a7aee2c7ab5772⋯.jpg (2.14 MB, 2445x1774, 2445:1774, bc19c96f7de6037a79f41bafc0….jpg)

>>15057

>those lazy water droplets

lel

>>15025

I just don't like Aogami's incest stuff and disgusting humans.


 No.15106

>>15070

He does all his animation by hand, frame-by-frame, so far as I know. That's why he doesn't do very many of them and they're usually very short. As you said, furries set the bar low, and so even though his stuff is a mile ahead of the shit jasonafex puts out, it's still miles below actually "good".

And being good at animation has zero to do with sameface, I hope you realize.


 No.15115

>>15103

>humans are gross

>heres a pic with humans

>Buttface

what did he mean by this


 No.15119

>>15115

That image was great minus the human shota. Aogami does draw younger than this which I also don't like.


 No.15123

File: 2c989e8b51c7b18⋯.jpg (1.34 MB, 2496x1404, 16:9, 1402060.jpg)

>>15115

>Buttface

It's just a childish insult. I don't think Aogami is capable of the level of wit to mean it's actually a subtle reference to "butterface", which a human without a muzzle may very well appear to anthros.

Bumping with content. You can use this as an actual desktop if you want to reveal all of your power level in one fell swoop.




File: 17f146b8f610457⋯.png (414.86 KB, 800x600, 4:3, beleth2bg2h[1].png)

 No.10101[Reply]

Can anyone explain to me wtf is happening in that comic?Why the fuck they keep retuning in time and changing events?Are those dolls cats all the same character?

Holy shit the mroe I read this comic the more confusing it gets.

136 posts and 40 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.14993

>>14683

>>14787

Nah this is PK we're talking about, they are "default female" even when they have a penis it's still a girl to PK because she's so progressive!!

>>14661

>DID ONE OF THEM RAPE

PK is very big on the rape fetish and so tons of her art has that, but no evidence of them actually raping kids yet, they did however groom actual kids and think teaching minors about sex is hot.


 No.15010

glitchedpuppet is a completely fucking mental block bot user, the only reason why he put out any shitty content is to monetize it to tumblr autists


 No.15013


 No.15015

>>15010

"He"?She not even like to be called "he", she only accept being called neutral pronouns and even so her 2 boyfriends always call her "she".


 No.15131

>>15015

AFAIK, GP/PK only lets friends and family call her "she", she demands everyone else use gender neutral pronouns when referring to her otherwise she has an autistic meltdown.




File: b4aa461444cc9fe⋯.png (494.89 KB, 1280x1213, 1280:1213, my chars now bitch.png)

File: 67a9c141dadd6f3⋯.jpg (76.14 KB, 512x1000, 64:125, mismagius hat.jpg)

File: 0f67cc394776a0e⋯.png (257.71 KB, 576x768, 3:4, infernape titfuck diglett ….png)

File: 410933f08c291db⋯.jpg (312.24 KB, 531x1100, 531:1100, blaziken backside.jpg)

 No.4316[Reply]

Do we have an s/pokemon thread?

169 posts and 308 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.14859

There's not enough Liepard art. Such an underappreciated 'mon. Just look at those haunches!

[I wish I could add some, but... there's not enough.]


 No.15049

File: b14c3b69bb758a0⋯.png (486.1 KB, 1200x1000, 6:5, 1460057619.fdokkaku_s814.png)

File: 3b0dc5068cd63d9⋯.png (3.13 MB, 1920x1280, 3:2, 1484532371.supplesee_goodr….png)

File: 28c17e28c0c3198⋯.png (678.79 KB, 938x1100, 469:550, 1484535096.jimmuarts_gthed….png)

File: 1aaf60697b6b620⋯.png (223.38 KB, 1280x1255, 256:251, 1484587416.chobin_14788987….png)

File: 3aa6c1a390eb088⋯.png (137.5 KB, 1280x1137, 1280:1137, 1484586550.jcdr_salazzle.png)

So, Anons. Tell me about your secret sex life with your pokeymans.


 No.15051

>>15049

Secret?

Anon that's a universe in which a boy on the edge of puberty goes on an adventure far from home with only the company of his dear pokemon. At some point the trainer is going to put 2 and 2 together.

Ain't no way Pokephilia is just a common topic not spoken about in polite company, like all them cowboys insisting on mares.


 No.15127

File: 2d59dcd74056a2c⋯.png (217.23 KB, 1280x1280, 1:1, 1484689192.lilmissbunbun_p….png)

File: e4dfc1b1abc82f1⋯.jpg (418.71 KB, 1020x619, 1020:619, 1484667384.ulariogryphon_c….jpg)

File: d39516cf222df25⋯.png (292.04 KB, 509x734, 509:734, 1484637344.rainatraina_lop….png)

File: e04b9dffd5dcc78⋯.png (1.41 MB, 1159x1280, 1159:1280, 1484596519.latiar010_vapor….png)

File: 2220a3e2fd6b881⋯.png (156.02 KB, 1161x1280, 1161:1280, 1482878397.niis_grace (1).png)

>>15051

People can guess and talk, but don't know unless they catch you.


 No.15129

File: 5602bd431efbd5c⋯.png (752.41 KB, 675x900, 3:4, 1483062471.kb-unlimited_bl….png)

File: 9fc154fbb68b22d⋯.png (2.18 MB, 968x1280, 121:160, 1476832734.voiderloop_viri….png)

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File: 3429dac99e1423b⋯.png (446.39 KB, 1500x1500, 1:1, 1483323551.misterhinotori_….png)

File: 1f990a3f248f04e⋯.jpg (27.93 KB, 512x308, 128:77, 1483324161.thekitsuubi_367….jpg)




File: eaf6ca4bf883a3a⋯.jpg (1.44 MB, 1200x1200, 1:1, fp_carol_boxart.jpg)

 No.14061[Reply]

>previous thread kicked off catalog

Early 404 was a mistake.

Footage of Freedom Planet 2 is trickling out now so I figured a thread was in order.

>What's Freedom Planet

A pretty neat character action platformer. It derives much of its inspiration from Sonic the Hedgehog, but manages to stand out its own.

The best way to talk about any game is to first jump in an play it, so here's a download link if you want to give it a try:

mega:///#!s01wlaiD!RpLXuntMOr2LbyTPywPLLVN3LrhAZl6RP-s8Uvvu9ZA

The story sucks. Play Classic mode unless you want to make fun of it

15 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.14513

>>14507

Well great job, now I'm shipping Milla and Klonoa. I hope you're happy with yourself.


 No.14520

File: 71af9cdd43e6cb8⋯.gif (1.12 MB, 639x639, 1:1, nUSHKTx.gif)

>>14513

I'm quite content


 No.14603

File: fbc16bf0258fcd7⋯.jpg (174.82 KB, 1299x741, 433:247, C0izx6yUcAAq_9J.jpg large.jpg)

File: b12e4b1851cbed3⋯.png (448.59 KB, 692x603, 692:603, sampleversion.PNG)

Demo incoming at the end of the month


 No.14636

>>14495

Why the fuck she acts like a feral dog while no other character do that?


 No.14675

>>14636

Because AWOO

It's probably for the cute factor. But, to be fair, Carol does have an animalistic pounce.




File: 1471096001381.png (227.02 KB, 1224x1070, 612:535, 1430852013140-2.png)

 No.698[Reply]

So, what are you writing right now? Do you have any ideas you never bothered writing down or putting into a story yet? Is there something you'd like to improve within your writing skills, let's say grammar and word usage? Have you seen other furry literature, that was maybe: laughably dreadful? astoundingly outstanding?

41 posts and 11 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.14957

>>5053

I've got to hand it to you, as this is my first exposure to erotic martial arts, this story is surprisingly well-done. I never thought that these two things could mix together so well.

Off of a first read, the dialogue was good, the pacing was a little shaky in the middle and near the end, the variety of the sentence lengths and structure were great, and a few pivotal moments could've been handled more effectively.

The only big issue I'm feeling about this story is its purpose. It's an entertaining read and the action was handled very well, but at some points the intermittent mentions of throbbing cocks held back the momentum of the fight, and vice versa. For my personal tastes, it's not engaging enough to fap to, but the action held my interest in the story. I think it's vital that these two elements are capitalized on at the right times for their full effect. This is what you were aiming for, right?

Also, your choice of synonyms for genitalia are important to the flow of your sentences. For instance: "In spite of the tiger's defenses, a great deal of hits found their mark, and his dick began swelling to full mast." you have an important offensive move overwhelming the heel's guard, followed by his own counterattack. However, that single line breaks up the flow of the fight itself to draw the readers attention to, obviously, the dick. Using the phrase "swelling to full mast" isn't a very strong phrase either, as it has it's own nautical connotation. Maybe something more immediate would help? Basically, a quick and effective offense leads to a quick and effective arousal, but linking them so closely and awkwardly lowers their impressions on the reader. Try to put more attention to those three actions (attack, arousal, counter) and give them enough space in the story to leave a bigger impact.

To end on a positive note, I want to reiterate on how much I liked how you focused on the characters and their actions. Rotating between banter, their fighting strategies, and their perceptions of each other in and out of the match kept the entire story interesting from beginning to ePost too long. Click here to view the full text.


 No.14959

>>14957

I'd love that. Thanks again for doing this. I do struggle with weaving sex and the actual fight. Maybe some flame-based metaphors like "A torch lighting up?"


 No.14976

>>14857

Man, this is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I tend to write everything all at once, without really stopping, so everything flows seamlessly from one sentence to another. Cutting it to pieces and trying to put it back together again without making it sound choppy is a pain. Reminds me why I don't do this for stories I'm not particularly attached to.

Anyway, I hope it seems better now. I extended the confrontation after thinking about a way the MC could actually push back without using his fists. I also ditched the slightly-deus-ex-machina bit with a mysterious neighbor filming the whole thing to bring in the police, in favor of a "hoist by his own petard" approach. I really like it.

I think the main issue I was having with the ending being rushed is because I was trying to have things both ways. The stories from the original inspiration were told in the form of short retrospectives, while the first half of my work was told like a story, flowing like a narrative instead of just a description of events. Toward the end, I tried to steer it back, and it didn't work out very well together. So I added a lot more content to slow it back down to the flow of a story, including more dialogue at the other most important turning points of the plot.

It ended up being twice as long, but I think it was worth it. It seems better, to me. Nevertheless, I can't shake the feeling that I've fixed the problems by adding a whole bunch of new problems.

http://pastebin.com/xyGGTzVR


 No.15090

>>14959

http://pastebin.com/xPK338CU

There, two down, a few more to go. Hope this helps you out.

>I do struggle with weaving sex and the actual fight.

I didn't comment on that too much when I was doing the review, but I have a few ideas that might help you out. Although, I'd like to think on them a bit more before I share them.

>Maybe some flame-based metaphors like "A torch lighting up?"

I left a really obvious example in the critique. I still can't believe you didn't use it. It's so simple and perfect.

Oh, I read the second part to your story too. That's quite a way to write in a flashback.

>>14976

>Man, this is a lot harder than I thought it would be.

That's why I have never finished a story. Putting ones' ideas on paper isn't easy.

>I tend to write everything all at once, without really stopping, so everything flows seamlessly from one sentence to another

It's nice to get into the zone like that and crank out a chunk of a story, but I've noticed that it's just as easy to "fly of the tracks" so to speak and ruin a story's pacing. In my experience, at least.

>I also ditched the slightly-deus-ex-machina bit with a mysterious neighbor filming the whole thing to bring in the police, in favor of a "hoist by his own petard" approach. I really like it.

Nice, I think I forgot to mention that when I went through it, but I'm glad you changed it. It's always satisfying when an unjust character 's downfall is themselves.

>I think the main issue I was having with the ending Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


 No.15092

>>15090

>I used the phrase "help(s) you out twice

Shit, I swear this is my biggest problem when writing literally anything. I somehow throw them right next to each other and never notice.




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