/mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders

I wish I could stop being jealous. I'm tired of having to work my ass off for things that almost everyone else is practically gifted with only for me to fail in the end. I can't understand many things that most people instinctively 'get.' I can't do things that most people can do with little to no practice, at least not in any timely manner(took me years to practice doing something only to be on a level that most people get on within their first few months.) My physical endurance and strength is shit no matter what I do to try and improve it.

As far as I know, the only thing I do have is persistence. I'll hurl myself at a task over and over until I absolutely cannot take it anymore…and that's part of what contributes to this feeling because after I see the fruits of my labor, they are still rotten apples compared to the golden stuff other people produce. Sometimes I think it'd be easier if I would just give up, that way I wouldn't be so disappointed given how I wouldn't have thrown any effort in, but I fear that would only make things worse in the long run. At least with persistence, I can try and have at least something to my name even though little to no progress is ever made, but in this eat or be eaten world, nobody gives a flying fuck about effort, only results. I can't blame them, you will know a tree by its fruits and, by that reasoning, I'm a very ill tree.

Feeling backed into a corner with no way out is endlessly frustrating.

Finding work has been a terrible nightmare and I'm so goddamned tired of getting my hopes up for no reason.

Id kill myself if I wasnt such a coward.

i am chating online with nice gurl but she seems not to be interested in me romantically ;_;

All the people I tried to make friends with have abandoned me, and I will continue this cycle until I realize I'm the common denominator.

>>12576

write sth about yourself, maybe we can be friends

Oh God really stressed lately kind of tired in the middle of a move so it's pretty tiring on my mobile because I packed my computer and everything else already and the keyboard on my phone isn't even working so I have to use the mic speak into it no good Oh God but you other than that just peachy everything's gone to s*** I'm hoping things will get better hope that's something rare fleeting like happiness funny my phone filters out curse words its been roughOP its been rough.

This place is a one bedroom apt for six people…were poor as fuck and me being fucked in the head doesn't help. The Methylphenidate 27mg ER kind of helps but the side effects are hurting. Pretty lonely as usual. No bed to sleep in tonight.

>>12578

Thanks but no thanks, I'm not cut out for friends anyway.

I was listening to some talk about how life isn't about the end result as a song is not about the final note. It made sense to me, so I'm satisfied I've got that sorted out in my mind, but it still leaves me at the problem that life is pretty crap.

Also I keep panicking whenever the phone rings because I backed into somebody's car and left a scuff mark on their bumper and drove away.